My Momma and my precious Aunt Robin
My life has been turned upside down and I am trying so hard to get myself back to some sort of happiness. My mom passed away Feb 22, 09 due to a fall at work where she hit her head,
I was called and told my mom was in the hospital. I ran home, threw clothes in a bag, sobbing and on the phone with my family and doctors. I left and headed to Tulsa, I met my aunt in Siloam Springs and we left for Tulsa, I couldn't drive.
We got to the hospital and waited, they were transporting my mom to a different hospital due to her head injuries. My aunt and uncle were with me. All of a sudden, I saw the paramedics roll my mom by me and I lost it; her eyes were open, no response and on a ventilator.
I started screaming, crying, and grabbing at my mom, telling her to wake up. My aunt and uncle and some nurses pulled me back and they took my mom into a room to evaluate her. I was then completely out of my mind. They took us to a conference room and I knew it was bad; they began to tell me that there was nothing they could do; she had swelling on the brain and she was brain dead, and if there was anything they could do they would have already done it. I had my head down in tears and I couldn't comprehend really what they were saying.
I went to my mom and cried and held her. Finally about 3 am, I decided after many tests to see if we should leave her on the machine or not. I made the decision to remove her; my mom always said if something like this ever happened to do what she wanted and that was to let her go!!
They came in about 4am, gave her some medicine (we didn't want her to be in any pain) and they turned the machine off. I crawled into bed with my mom, held her; crying, sobbing, pleading with God, and then she was gone. I stayed with her until the ME's came to get her. I couldn't leave her, my brother had to help me out. I began to throw up; even writing about it is very hard.
I played for my moms funeral, In My Daughters Eyes. I miss my moms hugs, her laugh, wanting to call her for comfort and knowing she's not there. It's been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.
My mom's sister, Aunt Robin, was a constant for me. She and my mother were very close and we would all help each other. But that also would be taken from me. She went in Oct 27, 09 for a hysterectomy and bled to death. Her son is only 12, an only child. I was at the hospital after her surgery, and she lost a lot of blood and went into cardiac arrest; and then she was gone. I am just out of my mind with grief.
We buried my aunt and my mom beside their dad, my grandfather. I don't go up so much anymore, it is just so difficult. I worry for my little cousin Eli, but I promised my aunt I would do everything I could to be there for him. That boy was my aunts life, and I feel a real sense of responsibility to help him and his dad get through this, that what families do.
I miss both of them terribly, but it does help to talk about it. Thanks for listening.