My Mother Eloise

by Sarah Craft
(Beverly Hills, CA, USA)

My mother died of terminal brain cancer when I was 15 years old. I really have dealt with her loss (or so i have thought), over the last 19 years. It wasn't until recently that I feel so lost without her. She was my best friend, and the person who understood me. She died slowly, over a 9 month period and lost her ability to speak and walk. She made some videos for my siblings and I, and I have just recently watched them. All the unresolved grief has come back, I feel empty and sad. I dream of her, I want to go back in time and tell her how much I love her. But mostly, I just want to move on, to be okay and to learn how to deal with this more constructively. I have been through years of therapy. But the only thing I have not done is reach out to other like-minded adults and talk about my grief. Remember the good times, and realize that I am not alone.

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