My Mother, My Champion

by Angela
(Buffalo,NY USA)

I should feel like the luckiest girl in the world, my Mom lived to be 96 years old. She had mellowed so in her last years; becoming more loving and appreciated everything that was done for her. My sister, brother, niece and myself took care of her that last year and a half. My days were every Tuesday and Thursday. Since her death, 2/20/11, I'm lost on those days. I wanted just one more week with her, just one more.She would ask me who will take care of you when you get old, I told her you Mom from heaven you will look down and take care of me. I have nightmares calling for her, crying out her name, but she doesn't answer.I wake up so empty. I feel so selfish for grieving so for someone that was so long here on earth. She was my Champion!!!!

Comments for My Mother, My Champion

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Nov 01, 2012
Hello, Angela
by: Anonymous

I am not a counsellor, I simply came to seek comfort because I have lost my Mum too. She passed away at the end of September this year, 2012. I do not know when your message was posted, but it seems you have been grieving for a long time. Please take heart. I am certain that you have some very beautiful memories of your Mum which will help to carry you through if you could only recapture and focus on them.

You said that your Mum was concerned about who would take care of you when she goes, and you said you told her that she would. You knew your Mum better than anyone... can you trust the answer you gave her, and can you trust that she actually heard and understood? I trust that my Mum is near me, and that she is taking care of me; I trust that she wishes more than anything that I will find myself again, though it will be a painful journey. Difficult as it is, I believe the pain has a purpose... We all know, in this life, that when we are aware that someone misses us, we are validated, we feel secure and happy in the knowledge that we are special. Would our Mums not be 'feeling' the same way, even though they are in a completely uncomprehensible realm? Please trust that your Mum's spirit is buoyed in her new existence by the love and the longing which you feel for her, but do not let the longing become a shackle on your journey towards an eventual reunion with her.

As for Tuesdays and Thursdays, what better day than a Tuesday or a Thursday to do something which will help you to remember your Mum in a special way? My Mum was born on St Patrick's Day and it was her pride and joy to share her birthday with the feast-day of such a celebrated saint. My Mum also had a special talent for sewing... I do not like sewing and I am useless at it, but I have decided that I might just try to stitch something together for her next birthday - something simple like a patchwork quilt, in shades of green. Well... perhaps a quilt is somewhat ambitious, but, even if it turns out to be just a green bandanna, or even a handkerchief, I know that she would be tickled and that she would laugh until the tears roll, like we used to laugh together before. I also know that she will appreciate the effort, and I know that, above all else, she will be honoured.

Please get well and please allow your Mum to do what you asked of her. I am certain that she will, as long as you are prepared to take that little step towards a different but wholesome life. Trust her, she is your Champion, remember...?

Oct 30, 2012
Hello, Angela
by: Anonymous

I am not a counsellor, I simply came to seek comfort because I have lost my Mum too. She passed away at the end of September this year, 2012. I do not know when your message was posted, but it seems you have been grieving for a long time. Please take heart. I am certain that you have some very beautiful memories of your Mum which will help to carry you through if you could only recapture and focus on them.

You said that your Mum was concerned about who would take care of you when she goes, and you said you told her that SHE would. You knew your Mum better than anyone... can you trust the answer you gave her, and can you trust that she actually heard and understood? I trust that my Mum is near me, and that she is taking care of me; I trust that she wishes more than anything that I will find myself again, though it will be a painful journey. Difficult as it is, I believe the pain has a purpose... We all know, in this life, that when we are aware that someone misses us, we are validated, we feel secure and happy in the knowledge that we are special. Would our Mums not be 'feeling' the same way, even though they are in a completely uncomprehensible realm? Please trust that your Mum's spirit is buoyed in her new existence by the love and the longing which you feel for her, but do not let the longing become a shackle on your journey towards an eventual reunion with her.

As for Tuesdays and Thursdays, what better day than a Tuesday or a Thursday to do something which will help you to remember your Mum in a special way? My Mum was born on St Patrick's Day and it was her pride and joy to share her birthday with the feast-day of such a celebrated saint. My Mum also had a special talent for sewing... I do not like sewing and I am useless at it, but I have decided that I might just try to stitch something together for her next birthday - something simple like a patchwork quilt, in shades of green. Well... perhaps a quilt is somewhat ambitious, but, even if it turns out to be just a green bandanna, or even a handkerchief, I know that she would be tickled and that she would laugh until the tears roll, like we used to laugh together before. I also know that she will appreciate the effort, and I know that, above all else, she will be honoured.

Please get well and please allow your Mum to do what you asked of her. I am certain that she will, as long as you are prepared to take that little step towards a different but wholesome life. Trust her, she is your Champion, remember...?

Oct 09, 2012
My Mother, My Champion
by: Doreen U.K.

Angela you are BLESSED to have had your mother live as long as she did. You are not selfish for wanting more time with her. WE ALL DO. It is human nature to WANT MORE time with those we love. We just have to be REASONABLE. When the elderly get to a certain age life becomes more unmanageable for them and they ready to leave this world. My father is 91yrs. I will be sad when he dies. But I will also be THANKFUL that he lived to a good age.
I lost my husband 5 months ago to Lung Cancer caused by working with ASBESTOS. I nursed him for over 3yrs. My husband didn't want to die. He wanted to live and enjoy his retirement he worked hard throughout his life FOR. He earned the right to have time for himself. I had to look into his sad forlorn face that broke my heart. It was as if he was PLEADING for LIFE. THIS HURT ME. I don't feel SELFISH for wanting him to have more time with me to enjoy some quality time. I just feel ANGRY that he was ROBBED of this TIME. But in REALITY none of us has control over DEATH unless we hasten this through our lifestyle choices. You will go through your grief and you will find your LIFE'S purpose and go on to enjoy your life again.

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