My mother, Vicki

by Tabitha
(Las Cruces, NM)

I was 7 when my mother died. I am now 24 years old. I miss my mother every day of my life. Some days are better then others and I have a sweet remembrance. But other days, like today, I am taken over by the grief that she is not here. I can't hear her laugh or cry. I have a 2 month old son and he will never know his grandmother. She can't hold him and tell him how precious he is. She can't hold me and tell me how proud she is of me. I ask for the billionth time, why? Why did I have to grow up without her? Why will my son have to? Will I follow in her footsteps? Did it really take her death to get me where I am today? Would I trade the life I have to get her back? I know death is part of life, but why did she have to die so young? My mother was a beautiful spirit, I can never have her back. Do I tell myself that she is watching over us just to feel better? What's the point of life? And yet I push myself to go on. I don't want my son to have to ask these questions about his own mom. Life.... it would have no meaning without death....

Comments for My mother, Vicki

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Sep 27, 2011
I know how you feel
by: Casey

I know how you feel. My mom passed away when I was 8 years old. Tomorrow will mark the 20th anniversary of her death. I, however, do not have any children yet, but she wasn't there for any of my life's milestones - graduation, wedding, etc. This year seems to be a little rougher than usual. I wish she was here. I know that she is "watching over me". But no words can really take away the pain in my heart. I wish you the best.

Mar 10, 2011
Our elite club
by: Candace

You and I belong to a very unique club. I lost my mom and dad as the result of a school bus pulling out in front of them. It was 34 years before that day passed and I didn't realize it until the next day. We had to move out of state to live with family members and I rarely was able to even visit the cemetary. I don't know how to tell you that the pain will go away, no it won't, but it will eventually start to dull a little bit.

As a result of this event, I lost the love of my life. We continued to go together long distance for almost year, but being so young, it didn't work. So, I had another loss in a short time.

Just know that there is someone out there in that big world that fully understands your feelings.

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