I'm David, and I'm 18. I lost my mother December 23rd, 2010, when I was sixteen. She died of a pulmanary embolism, while I and my dad where up in Tucson. It was my idea to go to Tucson that day, and take full blame for not being there when she died. When I walked in the house, I noticed her door was open and lights were on. I walked into her room and found her dead. Truly there is no greater horror then this. I have lost faith in whatever god there is, because if he does exist, he is truly evil for making anyone go through something like this. I've tried to kill myself, but I have not done so for the reprecusians it would have on my surviving family. No one my age seems to know what I'm going through. There is no empathy for me. My dad is now an alcoholic who simply has seemed to stop caring about me as a father. Many of my friends have left me, but who can blame them? I wouldn't want a sad sack like me as a friend either. I probably will never be on this website again, but I do hope you all well. Losing a mother is a terrible thing, and I hope you all have some support through loved ones. Sincerely, David.