My mother's birthday is coming up and..

by Ilana

I am stressing about whether or not I should go up north again. If she wasn't buried so far away this wouldn't be an issue, but she's 1,000 miles away from where I live. So many arrangements would have to be made in order for me to go; airline tickets, rental car, hotel, etc. As much as I want to go, everyone keeps telling me its not worth it because she won't know I'm there. In my mind, I know her spirit is always with me, but on the other hand, this is where her body is. My dad keeps telling me that her body had to go somewhere and this is the purpose of a cemetary. I never had anyone this close to me die. I mean I had grandparents die, but they never meant as much to me as my mother. My mother was my life and when she died, a piece of me died with her. She was so young, only 68 and she died so fast; five months after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Two years later, I still have not come to terms with her death. I just don't know what to do and I need some more guidance. Thanks!

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Jul 24, 2012
My mother's birthday is coming up and.....
by: Doreen U.K.

Ilana, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. She was a very special part of your life. You want to honour her by going up the 1000 miles away to her grave. You are getting people telling you not to because your mother won't know anything because she is in her grave. You are doing this for YOU. YOU need to make this journey for your own peace of mind. Don't let anyone put you off doing what you want to do. GO!!!! otherwise you would LIVE WITH REGRET. You will also feel angry with the people who stopped you from going on this journey. When you have done this journey you will come back REFRESHED. You definately won't regret this.
My husband died 10 weeks ago. 16 days before his 66th Birthday. As a family we took up birthday balloons and tied them to the grave. WE bought pots of flowers and cards and put them up to honour Steve. WE didn't regret doing this. It is important to do what your heart is telling you to do. Don't discuss it with anyone if they are putting you off. JUST GO!!. DON'T LIVE WITH REGRET. When you come back from doing this you will be in a happier place and you may even lessen your grief in that area that hurts you the most. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. If you go. Write back and let us know how you felt? How the journey was for you? and if you are happier you went? Just be Happy with whatever you decide to do. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. People can influence you. But only YOU can make the decision. If you decide not to do the journey. Do not feel guilty. Grief often dictates how we feel and if their is difficulty for you to make the journey. Be Content with whatever decision you make.

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