MY MUM IS A YEAR GONE ON MONDAY THE 21ST OF JANUARY AND MY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS HAS NOT CHANGED SINCE I LOST MY MUM.

IT HAS BEEN 12 MONTHS NOW SINCE I LOST MY MUM.

IN MY HEAD I KNOW SHE IS NOT COMING BACK BUT MY HEART STILL CANNOT COMES TO TERMS WITH MY MUM NOT HERE ANYMORE.

MY MUM GOT ILL IN 2009 AND FROM 2011 SHE AND MY FATHER WERE BOTH IN HOSPITAL AT THE SAME TIME BUT 21 DAYS INTO JANUARY 2012 I LOST MY MUM TO CHEST SEPTIS EVEN THOUGH MY MUM HAD OTHER ILLINESS LIKE BOWEL CANCER, DIABETES, AND SMALL BRAIN TUMORS. MY FATHER HAS BEEN IN AND OUT OF HOSPITAL BACK AND FORWARD SINCE MY MUM PASSED AWAY AND AT THE MOMENT HE IS BACK IN HOSPITAL HE TOOK A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK AND ENDED UP IN SURGERY. ITS LIKE 2012 ALL OVER AGAIN FOR ME THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM IT. 2013 FEELS NO DIFFERENT TO ME THAN 2012 BECAUSE OF THE WAY THINGS ARE WITH MY DAD. I AM NOT SAYING I BLAME HIM FOR BEING ILL. MY REAL CONCERN IS THE MANY TIMES HE HAS BEEN IN AND ALSO ALL THEM TIMES BEING IN AND ONE DAY COME OUT THE SAME AS MY MUM DID AND I DO NOT WANT THAT I WANT MY DAD AROUND FOR A BIT LONGER. HE HAS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR HIS CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN HE IS 73 YEARS OLD AND HAS HEALTH PROBLEMS AS WELL.

MY MUM WAS ONLY 62 YEARS OLD AND I MISS HER EVERYDAY LOVE HER ALWAYS AND FOREVER MY MUM HAS MISSED OUT SEEING MY CHILDREN I DO NOT WANT MY DAD TO MISS OUT ON THEM TO.

MY HEART IS BREAKING FOR MY MUM AND THE SAME PATTERN IS HAPPENING OVER AGAIN I DID NOT THINK I WOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH MY DAD SO SOON AFTER LOSING MY MUM.

CAN ANYONE GIVE ME ADVICE ABOUT THIS IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANKS SONYA MCKNIGHT.

Comments for MY MUM IS A YEAR GONE ON MONDAY THE 21ST OF JANUARY AND MY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS HAS NOT CHANGED SINCE I LOST MY MUM.

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Jan 21, 2013
Me too
by: Anonymous

My mother has been gone 18 months and it is getting harder and not better. My antidepressants are not working . I was an only child and never married I feel like a. 47 year old orphan. My parents lived for me now they r both gone my father ten years ago. My mother became such a recluse after his death she rarely left our home only for the doctor or to go to church or cemetery. Never once entered a store or went to a family function. What started with flue like symptoms in mid December that kept getting worse. My mother who never stopped all day now needed help standing after repeated doctors visit they said she was anemic had a blood clot di
Due to laying down too much. They forced me to get her to walk around the house. Then vaginsl bleeding at 73 not normal. Her doctor scheduled a dc but said he had no great concerns. We went for this procedure she literally could not walk had lost tons of weight. Dc was cancelled and I was told she was full of cancer I told them they were liars we were supposed to go home just there for the d and c. I was and still in shock. She died the most agonizing death 13 days later. It was the worst imaginable horror movie. I never left her room I literally held her hand for 13 days. The visions of her last few days haunt me day and night. Such a kind gentle giving caring woman how could god punish us like this. My mother was my life. I tell people I am fine because that's what they want ti
O hear but that is a total lie. How can u go on when 2/3 s of your family is dead. This pain is indescribable only those who have been through it can understand it. The world and people seem so happy and I want to scream out and say that's not my life !!!!!!! Maybe if I had crappy parents it would hav not been so hard..... But they were so loving giving and devoted they were so proud of my accomplishments now I hav no fan club no parents just memories

Jan 20, 2013
My Mum gone a year.
by: Sonya McKnight

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Jan 16, 2013
lost Mom
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry you lost your Mum. My Mother died on August 12, and I have found this month to be worst then the month of her death. My husband said I cry in my sleep. My Mother fough colon cancer for years and her death was not peaceful. I live with her suffering and the guilt.We promised her that we would not let her suffer but in the end, we had no control. I tell my Mom Im sorry everyday. I spoke to a friend of mine who is a psychologist and he said to put away any pictures I had of her when she was sick, snd surround myself with pictures when she was young and healthy. He said it would be 1-2 years before the bounce in my step would return. My heart goes out to you-you are not alone.

Jan 16, 2013
Open the gates
by: Anonymous

Hello Sonya

I could be completely wrong but it seems to me that you and your Dad are sharing the same emotions but that you are hiding them from each other in an attempt to appear strong. I mean, you are trying to be a rock for your Dad, while he is trying to bear his illness without showing the emotional pain which he must be feeling out of fear of adding to your worry. ?. As I said, I could be wrong.

However, if my assumption is correct, please consider that your father is the one person in this world who knew your Mum as intimately as you did. In fact, unless he is not your biological father, he must have known your Mum before you knew her and perhaps there are some memories he would to share from their early days and which you would like to know about. I urge you to try to be open with your father and to encourage him to be open with you. As you already know, grief (particularly grief for our mothers) is a devastating flood of emotion which will drown us eventually, unless we are willing to open the floodgates. You are in a position to open the gates for both yourself and your Dad. Let him know how much you miss your Mum and how worried you are about his condition, but let him know at the same time that you are trying to accept that they will be re-united someday. Sometimes it is necessary to let our parents know that we are releasing them from their earthly obligations in order that they may find peace. It may seem unbearably hard to lose both your parents in so short a time, but I am certain that your fear of your Dad's passing will be easier to bear if each of you can find contentment in the knowledge that there is someone very, very special who is waiting to receive him.

Do not be afraid to let your sadness show and do not be afraid to weep with your Dad. What may be perceived as weakness is often the turning point in our journey on the road to recovery.

Jan 16, 2013
I understand
by: Anonymous

My mum died recently (2012) and I too found it difficult to adapt to her not being here. My father died a few years earlier.

I would urge you to try and have some time away from hospital visiting to come to terms with your ongoing grief. Either through grief counselling, a religious support group or just looking up friends.

It seems cruel that our parents become ill and taken from us just when we need them (In my case I will always need my mum)

You have the knowledge and in time comfort that you did everything possible to support them when they needed you.

Jan 16, 2013
My mum is a year gone on Monday the 21st of January and my feelings and emotions has not changed since I lost my mum.
by: Doreen U.K.

Sonya I am sorry for your loss of your mum. It is a very hard place to be. You are not alone. My mum passed away 9 years ago and we got to the hospital too late. I didn't get to see her. All my sister's did. It has taken 9 years for me to get her photo out and look at it.
I lost my husband to cancer 8 months ago. We were married 44yrs. We have 3 Adult Children. It is difficult not having our loved ones here to see our children and grandchildren grow up. My husband won't get to see our 2 beautiful grandchildren grow up this hurts. I know how you feel. Having your father around with ill health is so difficult. I feel vulnerable to people dying and me being left on my own. My father is 91yrs and in poor health so I know he will die one day soon. I will feel sad but more accepting because of his age. My husband was 65yrs. and as you say your mum was 62yrs. and I regard this as still a very young age. If you are struggling at all try and see a CRUSE bereavement counsellor. They will be able to support you in the way you need this. The pain gets less over time. Funerals are expensive now also and this doesn't help our grief. The early days are the worst, but for me I am still feeling sad most days. There will always be a time I need him for something and he is not here. There is no fast way to heal from our grief. It is an individual time for each of us. You have support here and can write as often as you need to.

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