My mum lost the battle for breast cancer

My name is katie i am 24 and on 14/06/14 my mum lost the battle for breast cancer. 8 years ago she had a lump in her breast and had to have chemo therapy then have the lump removed nd had radio therapy. She got rid of the cancer and went in to remition and won the battle. Last November my mum had a fall which made her become increasingly worse in breathing she went to the doctors and had some scans and found out her lung was full of water. she had to have a drain put in as she started to loose a lot of weight as her lung was that full it was pressing on her stomach. My mum was a healthy lady and then all of a sudden she became very skinny and fragile. She had some tests done and the doctors said the reason she may be having water constantly going in to her lung was because her breast cancer may have returned. I have 2 sisters aged 15 and 22 so hearing this news was very hard. We found out that my mums breast cancer had come back and that it had spread to her lungs my mum was very optimistic and always thought she would beat it. Unfortunatly my mum got worse and worse and they found out it had spread to her spine. In the last 2 weeks of her life my mum could not walk and she started to forget things and found it hard to string a sentence together. My mum was very strong willed and to go from how she was before her cancer to her at that stage was heart breaking. Her funeral is on Wednesday and it has not hit my yet that she is gone. Everyone cries round me but I can not bring a tear out i keep saying it will probably hit me at the funeral and I am petrified of going but I have to say bye to my mum. I will always love her and she will be with is every day for the rest of our lives she will be there when I get married and when I have children but it breaks me to know my children will never meet her or know who she was because she was the most amazing mother in the world xxxxxxx

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Aug 20, 2014
Sympathize with you
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom on the same day..June 14, 2014. She was 89 and had suffered greatly after multiple heart attacks, kidney disease and many other problems. Sometimes it is difficult to believe she is gone. I will think of things I want to tell her or little humorous stories to share with her, but now I can't. Even though I knew for a long time that she was slipping away, it was just as hard to finally lose her completely. Now that a little time has passed, I realize that she is with me all the time. I hear her voice in my head repeating all those little pieces of advice and guidance given over the years. So remember your Mom is always with you and watching over you. She loves you and knows how much you love her too!

Jul 04, 2014
I know how you're feeling Hun x
by: Anonymous

I lost my Mum last year July 30th. I know how you feel at this moment. The numbness. The feeling of being alone. I was petrified of being on my own even in the day! I cried and I cried and I cried.
It's no use saying it'll get better cos that's not what u want to hear. If you're like me, you just want her back. I offered to change places with her. If asked God if he would. But then I realised I'd still never see her. So that was futile!
God bless you. Find the strength from deep within. Don't fall apart like I did. I was off work 3 months cos I couldn't cope.
It's a battle to survive. I'll do it. And so will you x x x

Jul 01, 2014
My mum lost the battle for breast cancer
by: Sob

Dear Katie,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my mother to cancer almost two years ago, one week after my 24th birthday. I was with her the whole time and we were as close as any mother and daughter could be. The pain of losing a mother is like no other pain. A mother means the world to her children. Your post broke me down since I know whats it like to see your loved one battle with cancer each day. It is heartbreaking to see someone full of life change into someone fighting for life. I am crying even while writing this since, even after two years, I can't forget anything that had happened. And I know how awfully painful this would be for you.
I learned one thing from my ordeal. Life goes on no matter what happens. The same will happen with you too. You just need to give yourself some time to deal with this loss. We all have different ways of dealing with grief. Some cry. Some don't. Some feel like talking about it. Some don't. There is no right or wrong. Saying good-bye won't be easy. I remember kissing my mum before they took her away. I just had to. Take one day at a time. Stay close to your family. Share with friends who are ready to listen.
A part of your mother will always be alive in you. You are her daughter, and you will be surprised to see how much of her you have in you. Don't let that change. People who will never get a chance to meet her can still know her, through you. Live your life in a way she would have wanted.
Lots of love and hugs for you.

Jun 23, 2014
My mum lost the battle for breast cancer
by: Doreen UK

Katie I am sorry for your loss of your mum to breast cancer. Few get remission from cancer, and just living with this disease is so hard. My husband was diagnosed in 2009 with the worst rare cancer which was inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. he couldn't process the thought that he was going to die. This is when my grief started. I nursed him for just over 3yrs. and he died 2yrs. ago. This cancer starts in the lining of the lungs. My husband accepted Chemo, and Radiotherapy and thought that he would be cured. Watching someone die from cancer is so hard on the whole family. Stay close to your 2 sisters and support each other. This is how you are going to get through the funeral and the days and months ahead. The sad fact is that your mother will not see her 3 daughters lives unfold, and be part of that. This is how I feel since I lost my husband. I will suddenly want to tell him something and he is not here, to share the load. Having a good support structure is important. You will get through the day of the funeral. Somehow you will become subdued and get through this knowing that your sister's will need you and you are not alone. You will have each other. I have 4 sisters and knowing we had each other for strength and support when I lost my mother 11yrs. ago and my nephew and husband helped tremendously. You will learn to get through life taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. If you have extended family and grandparents I hope that they will support you in the way you all need. Just don't give up on each other. You will find the strength to go on each day. If you find yourself or sister's struggling then contact CRUSE bereavement services for support.

Jun 23, 2014
Same Boat
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom to breast cancer and MS on the 15th also. Just wanted to let you know I thought I was a sociopath because I didn't fall apart like everyone around me. I did have 3 "episodes" of crying in private and each morning has become tougher to get get out of bed. I came back to work today in order to try to get back to normal. ANYWAY, just wanted to let you know someone else is going through the same thing. Your "mum" sounds just as awesome as my "mom" (:

Jun 22, 2014
My mom lost the battle
by: Nadine

Hi Katie. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I also lost my mom to cancer. It started out as a cancerous lump in her breast. The doctors thought they got it all but years later it returned. My mom kept complaining to us (her kids) and the doctors that she "just didn't feel right and had trouble catching her breath sometimes", which understandably frightened her. After many doctor visits they told us she had terminal cancer. It had spread throughout her body. I'm sorry to say i lost it, so to speak, so i wasn't there for her as much as i should have been. She was in convalescent care for about a year. She passed away in 1995. I have many regrets about that time. It took me about 2 years to get my life straightened out. I hope you were able to be there for your mom. My sincere condolences.

Jun 21, 2014
Feel so Alone
by: Josie

My heart goes out to you and your sister's may God comfort you at this very difficult time. Your Mum sounds like she was a wonderful person who instilled into you and your sisters that she will never be gone she is always with you in your memories and in your heart. You now have a very special Angel who will guide you through life by your instincts. In the coming days are going to be the most difficult especially when you have to say the final goodbye. But, remember her as she was not how she left the earth because those last memories will engulf the real "Mum" you remember and that's what she would want you to do. You will mourn when it is your time & let the grief out. I will be praying for your family. God bless you.

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