My Name is Yvonne

by Yvonne

My husband died July 19,2010. I have been coming to this site since August. I have probably written over half of the the anonymous postings. I haven't put my name on because I am -I guess for lack of a better word -SHY. My children, friends and neighbors want me to go to some kind of group. but I really can't talk to people very well, A lot of you have asked my name in many of your comments-so here I go.

Roger and I were married 33 years. Our anniversary is coming up , March 11th. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and we were told he had six months to live. Six days later he passed away. He was my rock. I miss him so much it hurts. I teach school. It is funny because when I am at work I feel pretty normal. But when I get in the car to go home to an empty house I cry all the way. Even after six months.

You have all been so kind. And it is nice to know I am not crazy, that others feel this way. Thank you for your comments and support. Sometimes I feel so alone. To be alone forever is such a long time!

Comments for My Name is Yvonne

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Feb 08, 2011
Hi Yvonne
by: Lyn Ann

Hi there - My husband passed away on November 20th, 2010. I can really relate to the double life. At work sometimes I can forget for short periods - everyone else is "normal" and it is busy... And even when I speak with people I often can laugh like my old self. But then, in the quiet moments, the reality settles in again.

and then I feel guilty for not thinking of him during the day constantly.

So when I remember him it is achingly sad. And when I immerse myself in busy-ness I can forget for awhile, but then later on I feel guilty. There is really no escaping this in any way.

So we plough forwards, wading through the days. Prayer keeps me going, helps me to cope.

Thank God for this site. It doesn't help the sadness, but it makes me realize that I'm not alone.

Feb 07, 2011
You're Not Crazy
by: TrishJ

Yvonne~I am now on my 4th book on grief support. I really was suprised that the feelings I'm going through are all outlined in these books. It's only been 10 weeks for me~and my progress is slow. I'm OK with that. At least I know it's normal for me to be feeling like I do.

I thank God for this web site. Someone posted last week ~ How will I ever make love again? God she's brave. I love her for that. The thought of another man after being with the same one for over 30 years. How scary is that? Something I'm not thinking about right now but there are so many things to consider in this unwanted new life.

We're all here ~ going through the same thing. Nobody knows what it feels like until we're faced with it. It really stinks.
I hope this day brings you some joy. God Bless.

Feb 07, 2011
no crazy
by: Shirley

You are not crazy. I do the same thing. I didn't lose my husband however...I lost my son. Not a second goes by where I don't think of him. He was a brave kid who fought for two years to live. Sometimes life isn't fair.

Feb 07, 2011
We all feel the same!
by: Cindy

Yvonne, you are so right that we all feel the same way here. My husband passed away 2 1/2 months ago and today would have been our 35th anniversary. I am so lost without him and this day is even difficult, even though it has just begun, being 12:41 a.m. here in Oklahoma. We would have been telling each other "Happy Anniversary!" but that will be no more. I am just sitting here crying typing this. I am so lost in this world without him. He was so good to me and I just want him here to hold me. He was my positive person when I was so down and I need him so very much. My heart is just hurting wanting him so bad, and that is how he left me. He had a heart attack. I think it would be easier on us if God would just take us both at the same time. If not for my kids, even though they are grown, I would not want to go on. This life is too difficult to live without him.

Feb 07, 2011
Welcome Yvonne
by: Zoe

This place we are lifelines to each other
I can tell you there have been times these people
Have saved my life literally
Most of us have therapist or groups
It works for some more than others
But here you can say what you really feel
Tell about the world as you see it
And we are always here (it is 12:53 est)
We will always listen even if we so not respond because
Of our own grief we are here
So welcome to our family
I am Zoe I lost my beloved John march 21 2010
Come here as much as you need
But always remember
One breath
One step
One day at a time

Feb 06, 2011
For Yvonne
by: M Mack

Hi Yvonne,

I'm glad you feel welcome and not embarrassed to tell us who you are. It's sort of like a mini group therapy here where we all know just enough facts from many others. Sometimes you'll find people here who share the exact same circumstance or sentiment. There is no judging only a camaraderie of many who are in different stages of grief.

My sweetheart died July 23rd and I recently commented that I still cry everyday when I get in the car. Otherwise I'm doing fine at work, just very sad and lonely afterward. We talked about everthing after work. We couldn't wait to be with each other. I thought about seeing someone for therapy and many people do that. The thing is, I feel more comfortable here and know that I am not judged and vent when I need to. The people here been kind and very understanding - always there when I need them. So thanks for sharing with us and feel good that you can depend on this site for support - I know I have. I pray everyday for all of us to find some level of peace and inner strength to survive in this world without the love of our life. Hang in there we are all here for you.

Feb 06, 2011


I am so glad that you are confiding in us. I know that this is the only place that I truly feel comfortable putting out my true feelings. I have never had anything but support from this site.

No one tells me to get over it, That Paul wouldn't want me to be this way or that Life goes on. I know that Things have not come to a stand still because I don't want to play right now. Things go on, things change all around you as we stand here stunned not sure exactly what we are supposed to do now.

So Please Yvonne come here anytime you need someone to lean on. Because we know that awful emptiness and loneliness that cannot be filled by work,family or friends. It does get better I promise. All we can do is fake it till we make it. If counseling or grief groups are available go if just to listen. No one knows how if feels except those who have walked the long path of grief. Many ups many downs but always one day one step at a time...

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