Since i was born, my nan lived with my mum, my 2 brothers & my dad for awhile and me. She was more like a mother to me because when my parents split up she was always there to take care of us when my mum was at work. We were always close because i was the youngest and spent most my time with her when everyone else was at school.
In 2009 on mothers day morning, nan wasn't feeling well, she couldn't breathe properly so we went to the hospital. She stayed there for nearly 3 weeks, she had less the half her lung function and she was on oxygen so she couldn't walk very far, only from her room to the bathroom and to the chair she liked to sit.
So i stayed with her to be her carer, then on april 24th she was feeling sick so she went to hospital that night, she was on bi pap and she had 3 heart attacks, most of her heart was damaged and she couldn't breathe on her own, the doc told us that if the bi pap did help her within 2 days, there wasn't much more they could do.
Nan told the doc to take it off, she couldn't do it anymore, she was too weak. This was 28th april at 3.30am, so we rushed back to the hospital so we could say goodbye to her while she was still awake. Because when they take you off you go unconscious, she was awake for a little bit but then fell asleep around 5am. We were all there with her, she passed at 3.30pm that day, we were all there with her.
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do was sit there and see the person you love more than anything just slip away, it's been nearly 2 months now and i'm lost without her i'm used to being with her all day talking and making her cups of tea and food. She was so much more than just my nan she was more of a parent to me than my father ever was. She was my best friend we told each other everything.
It feels like there is a hole in my chest, has been ever since i said goodbye to her. i would do anything to have her back. i even got a tattoo for her with a red rose and nan on my wrist so everyday she's with me. It still feels like she is here. But i know she is looking down on me from heaven.