my nana and me

by summer

Ok so like seven months ago my Nana past away i didn't even now that she was gonna die i thought she was gonna be here for along time for me my hole world has turned up side down in just one day . me and her was so close i seen her everyday she was like a 2nd mom to me and my friend and my NANA i lost a nana and a friend and myself to i feel like i lost everything it hurts i dont like who i have turned in to i am mad at everybody and was all was a nice person i dont like being mean to anyone but i am . and my nana she moved in with us when we moved in are new house then one morning i was getting ready for school in my room and my nana and i shared a room and she was a sleep so i didn't wont to wake her and i didn't the when i went to turn my light off she wake up and looked at me then she turned to here side she was goon come get me that day after school but my mom texted me at school and told me to get off the bus at my cousin so i did my mom looked like she was crying so i asked why are u crying she said i am not then my step dad told all the family that was there to come in to room and he said your nana has past away to i cried so much i still remember that cry and that day . now i am mad all the time and i have hole in my heart and i am not close to anyone else in my family but her she got me we had close bond. i dont know how to be happy again i keep trying to make my self happy but it does not work i need help i feel like i am so lost and made i dont wont to be mad i wont to be happy again.then when she past away my other family came down her her 2 sisters and brother and her mom well when her brother and his a preacher and i was close to him and he sexually abused me and told me like all this nasty stuff he wonted to do to me i loved him and i thought he loved me to.

Comments for my nana and me

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Nov 27, 2012
nana and me
by: summer

thank u

Nov 23, 2012
my nana and me
by: Doreen U.K.

Summer I am sorry for your loss of your nana. You say that you are so unhappy and distant from your family now you have lost your nana and you are mean to people now and you don't want to be like this. You are grieving and fractured as a person now through your loss.
The clue to how you are behaving is in your last sentence. You were sexually abused. It is no wonder you are feeling the way you are. to be sexually abused damages a person in so many ways that you will feel so many conflicting emotions and anger and won't know how to handle this.
You certainly cannot handle this immense problem all on your own. You need to urgently see a Psychologist/counsellor. Find the right one and you will get the help you need. don't leave this too long and feel that you can get over this. You won't. your feelings will get worse and you may even feel suicidal. Don't be overwhelmed. I have read many books on sexual abuse. If you can get one read this. Especially a book called "The Courage to Heal"
You will not be able to heal from sexual abuse on your own and it will affect your whole life. You sound as if you are a young person. Sexual abuse will also affect you forming lasting and healthy relationships. The damage from sexual abuse is so great it causes destructive emotions and feelings and leaves the person abused with low self esteem. Some people cut themselves. some feel suicidal. All feel Anger at a deep level and fight with people around them and cannot understand why. They act out and can't understand the person they have become. Counselling will be painfull. Don't give up counselling. It will save you from all the pain and unhappiness you are feeling.
You will wake up one day and start to feel better and you will start to heal from sexual abuse and become the person you want to be. Don't give up!!
It will feel as if your world has ended and you can't go on in life. But you will recover and get your life back. Often sexual abuse can become a pattern and people can take advantage of you. YOU DON'T NEED TO LET THIS HAPPEN. Tell someone if you are being hurt in this way. Don't keep silent. This will destroy you. You will get your life back and you will be able to heal sufficiently to Enjoy life again in a new way that you won't look back. But you will see the new person you have become.

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