My 'Nana' Lillian

by Hannah
(England )

My paternal grandmother passed away five years ago. She had been battling cancer for several months, and on the 29th of January 2007, lost her battle against the disease. She knew that she was dying, but still she put on a brave face for me and my brother. I was ten years old when she died, and I still vividly remember coming home from school to be told that my 'Nana' had passed away. I knew that she was ill, but I never gave up hope that she would recover. After all, even at my young age I didn't think that she was 'that' old. Looking back now, I realise that no, she wasn't old at all. She was 58. She should still of had many years of life ahead of her.
Now, whenever the 29th of January comes to pass, I still look back on the many happy memories I have of my Nana. I no longer cry or feel extremely saddened, like I did pretty much constantly in the weeks following her death, but I feel a great joy in remembering the strong and feisty but also decent, loving and very intelligent woman she was. I know pretty much everyone gushes about their grandmother, but she really was an amazing woman.
The last time I saw her was at Christmas, just a month before she passed away. She did seem a little frail to me at the time, but she was cracking jokes and chatting away happily with everyone like she usually did. She was in a hospice at this point, but just after New Years day she was told that she was not long for this world. After being told this she decided that she wanted to die at home, and that's where she did indeed pass away. Unfortunately, much to my anger and upset, neither me nor my brother were allowed to attend her funeral because children were not allowed. I feel saddened that I never really got to say goodbye.
Today would of been her 64th birthday.
R.I.P Nana. You are still dearly loved and missed.

Lillian Elizabeth
August 26th 1948 - January 29th 2007.
Gone but NEVER forgotten.

Your granddaughter Hannah xxx

Comments for My 'Nana' Lillian

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Aug 27, 2012
My "Nana" Lillian
by: Doreen U.K.

Hannah I am sorry for your loss of your Nana 5 years ago. I am glad that you have been able to move forward from the intense pain of grief that happens in the early days of passing away. You were so young, and still at 15yrs. you have a very mature attitude. I do think that it is very difficult for the little people who have to face the death of a family member, because they do get forgotton and it seems like their feelings are not taken into account. It is as if the older members of the family seem to know what is best. I can understand a parent trying to protect their child from the memories of death. There is the viewing of the body, and just seeing the body lying in a coffin can be a frightening experience. But I do feel that a closed casket would be appropriate for a child to see and so be able to pay their respects to the person who has died and meant so much to them. I also think that parents should be able to have a conversation with their children explaining what has happened and also to ask their child to relay back them what they think has happened so that any concerns or worries about what their child perceives has taken place can be adjusted and put right so the child has a good understanding and it would help with their grief. To me this is the healthier way to handle a death in the family. But each individual has to process this for themselves taking into account also the personality of the child, because some children are frightened by death. But the child should still be considered.
My husband died of cancer 4 months ago and I also cared for him for over 3yrs whilst he was slowly dying. He wanted to die at home. I felt that he had a lot of years left to live. he was upset he was going to die. This made it more painful for me to be with him each day knowing he was dying and would never be coming back again. Life does change forever. We lose a part of ourselves. I hope that in your young life you go on to have a happy life and that even when you lose people from your life that you will be stronger and be able to adjust to life and loss.

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