My New Grandmother

by Natasha
(Rhode Island)

My grandmother died on Thursday, November 24th, 2011. My family knew she was going to pass soon so we got on the plane to fly to her. When we arrived at the airport my father called the nursing home to say that we were on our way and they said sorry she just passed away a few minutes ago. Well, I was torn to pieces as was my family. I held in my pain. She was my new grandmother because I had just gotten adopted the week before. I wanted to say goodbye to. They keep saying to remember the good times but I did not have as many as they did. I had only met her in person once before and then she was in the hospital with three blood clots. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. I don't understand why God had to take her. I have never had anyone die in my life before until now and the pain is unbearable. When we went to say goodbye to her I dropped to my knees and cried hysterically because seeing her so yellow and weak and motionless was traumatic for me. I went to her house the other day and hugged her clothing and asked her to come home for me. I can't feel her presence and I want to. It hurts to not have her. I want to be there for my family but how can I if i can't be here for myself. I keep asking my parents if she knew that I loved her because I don't know. I feel guilty because when I met her I was shy so I didn't talk much. I want her here with me. I want to go where she is. Why can't God take me with her. She was 87 years old.