my older brother

by Nicole
(NC)

Rest in Paradise James-Henry Barney Wrona

Rest in Paradise James-Henry Barney Wrona

I just lost my older brother to murder on may 10th of this year (2013). He was 25 and I'm 19.
His is the first close death I've experienced except for my grandparents when I was a baby, so I have absolutely no idea how to deal with this. He's been in and out of my life a lot considering how he'd gone to prison for 5 years and he's so much older than me. We still talked on some deep levels that I will never reach with my other older brother. James(his name) was a king. He kept his pride and you did not mess with him. When he got out of prison, he had found the religion of muslim, and he followed it wholeheartedly. He got married and had his first daughter, who was only a month old at the time of his death. He worked harder than the average man, due to felony charges on his record, to support his family but he certainly did it without complaint. He just made one bad decision, he was supposed to buy gold under the table as a mother's day present (or maybe to sell for more money as a mother's day present.)He went to one of the worst places in Phoenix and a man shot him dead through the neck.
My brother, being a convicted felon, was not allowed to carry a firearm, but at the time of death he had one plus extra ammunition in his shirt pocket, and he had gloves on. The other man wasn't supposed to have a firearm either, but he did so as well.
The man says my brother robbed him, threw the wallet, and as he started walking away, Victor shot him. And the wallet was found near my brother so yea you automatically think a convicted felon with a bad past no doubt robbed this guy and deserved to get shot, right?
No.
My brother left his house with 300$ on him. The cops would not release the information on whether he still had that money on his person after his death. Also, if my brother would have robbed this guy of his wallet, he would have taken the money out of the wallet before throwing it to the ground, which the money was not touched.
Witness reports say my brother was running away (to the direction of his car) and as he was running someone screamed "you want this mother ****er", then two shots fired. One my from my brother who missed and one from Victor which went through my brother's jugular and ultimately caused his death. He got about 100 yds away before he collapsed of blood loss.

And because of lack of evidence, this man who killed my brother is going to walk free.

what do i do...... I'm so angry and sad and just all out depressed I didn't talk to him as much as I should have because he was in AZ while I live in NC and our schedules never matched and I feel so guilty I'm always crying.
I just want to talk to him...

and a Muslim funeral isn't like a normal funeral. they basically clean the corpse but there was no embalming or make up or anything and they put the body on a gurney like thing with a holy rug on top of a sheet covering it and we all surround the body and they pull the sheet back and it was the hardest moment of my life seeing my brother look like he was a asleep but he was pale and cold and he was a rock. Then only the men could attend (which I am not) the burial which was 40 min out into the desert. My other brothers described it as they helped carry his body into the grave and they plus over 100 people placed a shovel of dirt in his grave. I unfortunately didn't see his gravesite on that trip.

I'm sorry this is so long and hectic, it's just nice to tell the story to people who can relate.

I miss him so much, it was way too soon.

Comments for my older brother

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Apr 16, 2014
Young
by: Jeremy w

I did time with your brother he always talked about you i just heard about this couple days ago i know he smiles down on you

Jul 05, 2013
my older brother
by: Doreen U.K.

Nicole I sorry for your loss of your brother James to a homicide.
To cry all the time and feel such deep sorrow and loss is normal. None of us know when our tears will stop but they wash out all our sorrow till we find healing but this is a long long time. Your brother made choices but he didn't deserve to die the way he did. He did his time and he accepted responsibility for his fellany. It is the ones left behind that bear the pain and loss forever. You could find great relief for your loss in the arms of God who is able to comfort us in a way also by using people on this site who know and understand your pain and loss.
My husband died of cancer 14 months ago and my loss is great. My husband became a Christian desperately wanting to move away from his Muslim roots because he found Jesus. I endured a lot of persecution for being a Christian for our whole 44yrs. marriage. My husband said he wanted a Christian funeral and a cremation. It is against his families beliefs and so they gave me a hard time. To maintain honour and respect them I gave my husband a burial but not within their time frame of 1 day due to my husband dying of a cancer which came under an Industrial disease. His body was in the chapel of rest for 20 days. They were mad with me. They were mad that they couldn't take his body and bury him according to their custom. I knew my husband would be happy that his family were honoured by a burial. Trying to do the right thing cost me a lot of pain. The nieces mounted a war against me and my daughter had to shut down her fathers cancer website and they were angry we had my husband's house so they put a curse on the house and I had to spend thousands of pound to put things right with more problems coming up and I still have a leaking roof. I suffered the worst ill health and pain in my body and my life has been difficult since my husband died. I am aware of how muslims bury their dead and the woman are not allowed to go to the cemetery and this is the one factor that caused me difficulty that I would be denied going to bury my own husband even though it was my right to and not theirs. I feel a sadness for you here. Not being able to go and bury your own brother and this will add to your grief. If you are able a grief counsellor could assist you with your anger and sorrow over how your brother died and the type of funeral he had which excluded you. I am sorry for where you are at in your grief but it is early days and it won't always be this way. It hurts so much now. I still feel hurt but happy my husband has a nice burial chamber for two and my casket will go on top of his in the same chamber. I gave him an 8 lines of verse for his memorial and a guitar and his photo on the gravestone. Something his family would never have done. I hope you have good support in your grief and May God comfort you and give you His Peace. I understand how you feel.

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