My oldest brother commited suicide almost a year ago

by Angelica
(Connecticut )

On July 6,2012 my oldest brother took his own life. Finding out was really hard. We were never really that close but I always knew he was my brother and I could always depend on his presence. He lived in Puerto Rico and I live in Connecticut , last summer I went to Puerto Rico and arrived July 5,2012 to surprise him because I haven't seen him since 2008. The morning after I got there my mother called and told me what happened. I knew The healing process was not going to be easy but it began. My father was on the first flight out to Puerto Rico that morning. All the long planning to surprise my brother all went down the drain. Instead of getting a hug when I got to him, I had tears and sadness looking at his grave. No one that close to me has ever died. Suicide is taking over and I pray that no one ever has to endure that pain. On this day I am still not fully healed. I don't think I will ever be beause that is just one thing that happens that no one will forget. Some nights I just sit and I cry as I listen to the song that was played at his funeral thinking of all the great moments we had together. But, I guess when life gives you lemons make lemonade.... (: thanks for reading my story

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Jul 05, 2013
My oldest brother committed suicide almost a year ago.
by: Doreen U.K.

Angelica I am sorry for your loss of your brother to suicide and at a time when your surprise went horribly wrong and instead of Joy and happiness it turned into mourning. It will be one year tomorrow and so a difficult time for you to process this loss one year on. The pain of losing someone close as a sibling is the worst pain you can bear. Emotional pain is so difficult to deal with.
My nephew at the age of 30yrs. threw himself in front of an express train 7 years ago and the pain of this type of death is still so difficult to deal with. A loss forever.
It seems as if you have a good supportive family and this is what you will all need to get you through your grief to the point you can get your life back. But the early days of loss is so hard.
I lost my husband to cancer 14 months ago and the pain of this loss is more crushing than I can bear. We bond with our family and the grief is worse. I wish you Comfort and Peace in your sorrow.

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