My Oldest Brother

Hello . My name is Henry , i lost my brother in 2011 . He died from cancer . he was only 48 yrs old . He was sick for a year . and then he died in his home . he just stopped breathing . My whole family is grieving and i hardly hear from them because they are so upset . i need someone to talk to . my days and nights are so sad . i am suffering so bad too because you see i couldnt even go to my brothers funeral . this is because i am in prison . i made a mistake . i am paying for it now . could you please write to me . i would appreciate any kind words . please God help me .


Comments for My Oldest Brother

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Aug 15, 2014
My sister
by: Andrea

Hi Henry,

I feel your pain. My family has not been able to get a break from death. I lost my brother who was 48 in 2005 to a drug overdose, in 2011 my mom fell off a step ladder in the garage and hit her head on the concrete floor and died. Last March 2013 my oldest sister who is 54 and is like a mother to me was diagnosed with grade 4 terminal brain cancer - GBM. Her life changed in 1 day. Today she is on her last days of life with now 3 brain tumors. We did everything together and the sense of her loss is so great I don't know how I am going to get through it. I am filled with such sorrow and grief. My heart aches and has a huge hole. It's so unfair that cancer takes all ages and race.
Life is so unfair.

Andrea from USA - NH

Aug 03, 2014
Your Brother Knows Your Heart
by: trishaangelchanneler

Dear Henry,
Your pain is excruciating I know. It is doubled by your loneliness in grieving alone. I hope that there is a chaplain that visits the prison you can speak with. If not, I hope you start your own grief group where other inmates can share their stories. We have all suffered losses and none is harder than another.

Your brother, I am sure, knew you wanted to attend his funeral and he knew why you couldn't be there. So rest easy knowing that God is merciful and lets those who have passed see the hearts and intentions of their loved ones--namely YOU.

Grief never ends, but, it gets a bit easier day by day. I lost my mom when I was 14 and she is still in my thoughts but the edge of the "knife of grief" has dulled with time. I pray for your peace and love to return to your life. All the best, Trisha

Aug 02, 2014
My oldest brother
by: Jane

Hi Henry, I am Jane. I live in Germany. First of all, please excuses my mistakes, my English is not the best. When my Mom died, alomost 15 years ago, one of my brothers with family left me almost one year alone. They didn´t come, they didn´t call, and my sister in law shouted realy ugly at me. I thought I have lost them too. All I have wanted for one year, just to die too.I was feeling so guilty, even I didn´t know what I have done. But now it is getting better. We had visit each other but the Kids told me, they never talk about there grandma. I learned to accept that every Body is grieving different. I felt awful and was all by my self til many friends came and talked to me, til today. Henry, you are in prison, but you can still talk with your brother, he can hear you. Just closing your eyes and think of him and then you feel realy quiet and peaceful and seeing a little bit of light has come, he is Close to you inside and outside yourself. Than you can tell him every thing, which is on your heart. As soon as you are only think of him, he is there. And you can pray to our Lord, he is helping you and listening to all you are saying. By the funeral of your brother only his body got under the earth, but his Soul is still alive by God. Then you will get out of prison, take the new Chance and live your life so your brother can be proud of you in heaven. So that he is going to say proudly to all in heaven "look, this is MY little brother." I will pray for you Henry. May God comfort you.

Aug 01, 2014
My Oldest Brother
by: Doreen UK

Henry I am so sorry for your loss of your brother to cancer. I lost my husband to a deadly cancer 2yrs. ago. You will feel worse because you were not able to be with your brother before he died and not able to go to his funeral. This will make your grief a more lonely experience. You will also feel so isolated because you are not able to be with your family to grieve together. I guess you feel forgotten.
I hope that you don't have a long sentence and that you can leave prison and get your life back. You have a chance now to realise that you don't have to continue a life where you will be incarcerated for the rest of your life. WE all get second chances in life and it is what we learn from our experiences that will help us in the future. I did Prison Ministry with my Church and I enjoyed meeting with Prisoners and telling them of the love of Jesus and how He is the only way. I live in the U.K. but I have known God all my life. I have found fulfilment in knowing God and He has changed my life in ways that makes life worth living and going on in life each day despite the trials and tribulations we all go through in life. I hope that you have a reason to live and turn your life over so that you know that you can be Happy and live a good life despite the mistake you referred to that you are paying for now. In Prison Ministry I met many people who had a raw deal in life and so ended up in crime. Many found God but still in Prison. Many people live in a prison of sorts through addictions and feeling hopeless to change their life or their world they live in. They think it is hard to break out of the prison they make for themselves. It is possible to change. Jesus Christ is the answer for all problems. He saved me and he delivered me from my own prison of unhappiness. You may be in prison but you are FREE in your Spirit. You do have the freedom to make your own Choices. I hope that when you leave prison you will use your Freedom wisely and make your life better. You can do it. Live with Hope and don't ever give up!

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