my once in a life time love


I lost my wife of 42 years 2 and a half years ago to chemotherapy treatment of cancer. She was my world, my reason for living. I have not been able to stop grieving and I am very tired of the pain. Try as I might, I get little or no joy out of life. I am just waiting around until it is my turn, and I don't think that will come soon enough. I go to bed each night hoping I won't wake up and wake up sorry that I did. I know she wants me to move on, but I don't want another relationship and even if I did she would always be there in my heart.When she died, she took whatever allowed me to love with her, leaving only a bottomless void. Although I won't take my life, I will do nothing to prolong it.

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Jun 13, 2012
my once in a life time love
by: KOREAVET

HI, I TO LOST MY WIFE. WE WERE MARRIED FOR 49 YEARS. SHE PASSED AWAY ALMOST 3 YEARS AGO AND MY GRIEF HAD ONLY GROWN WORSE. I AM BY MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN HARDLY CALL ME. I TRY TO KEEP BUSY. COMBAT WAS EASIER. I CERTAINLY FEEL FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU. I DO HOPE THAT YOU FIND PEACE. THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. IRWIN

Jun 13, 2012
my once in a life time love
by: IRWIN

I TOO LOST MY WIFE ON OCT.5,2009. WE WERE MARRIED FOR 48 YEARS. THE GRIEF IS KILLING ME AND EACH NIGHT I DO NOT WANT TO WAKEUP. I AM BY MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN DO NOT CALL ME FOR MANY DAYS EVEN THOUGH I LEAVE MESSAGES. I HAVE NO ONE NEAR ME. I HAD GONE FOR GRIEF HELP MANY TIMES AND NOTHING HAS HELPED. I BEEN IN THE HOUSE BY MYSELF FOR THE LAST 3 DAYS CRYING AND I SEE NO RELIEF. I CERTAINLY CAN UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. I AM A KOREA WAR VETERAN AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT COMBAT WAS EASIER. WHEN EVER I GET OUT I GO RACE WALKING AND IT HELPS FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND THEN GROWS BAD AGAIN. MY NEIGHBORS DO NOT LOOK AT ME OR SAY HELLO. ITS BEEN LIKE THIS FOR 2 1/2 YEARS. I TRULY DO NOT FEEL LIKE GOING ON FEELING LIKE THIS. HAVE A GOOD WEEK EVERYONE.
IRWIN

Apr 18, 2012
My once in a life time love
by: Anonymous

I too lost my lifelong partner last year June 25th 2011 after being together for 38 years. He died suddenly of a heart attack. We never married, never felt the need, never had kids. Now I feel totally on my own, a different person. Life to me will never be the same. I sold the house we lived in for 20 years, couldn't live there without him. I now live in a different town and trying very hard to get on with it but the grief seems to be getting worse. I still can't believe that this has happened and that I won't see him again. I feel as if I'm in a bubble. Material things are meaningless to me now, and I've heard this before but if I could give it all away to have him back I would. I now know the meaning of heartache. It's the loneliness that is unbearable. No one will ever or could take his place but I would like to meet someone for company, and yet I feel guilty about this.

Apr 07, 2012
My Once in a Lifetime Love
by: Pat J.

Dear Once in a Lifetime Love,
I know exactly how you feel. I know I will never love again. I was married 46 years and 9 months ago. on June 27,2011; the day after our anniversay; which was June 26th; my husband died of a massive heart attack.
He was not perfect; almost though; no one is. I feel I would also always compare anyone else to him. He also took a part of me with him the day he died. I am going on for our children and myself, but I miss everything about him. He is in my thoughts all the time and sometimes the tears just appear, just thinking about him.
We all who have lost our spouse have to be very strong people, because this journey of grief, in plain words sucks.
I am faking it until I can make it. I tell everyone that, because, that is EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING.
God bless you and keep you strong.

Apr 07, 2012
My Once in a Lifetime Love
by: Pat J.

Dear Once in a Lifetime Love,
I know exactly how you feel. I know I will never love again. I was married 46 years and 9 months ago. on June 27,2011; the day after our anniversay; which was June 26th; my husband died of a massive heart attack.
He was not perfect; almost though; no one is. I feel I would also always compare anyone else to him. He also took a part of me with him the day he died. I am going on for our children and myself, but I miss everything about him. He is in my thoughts all the time and sometimes the tears just appear, just thinking about him.
We all who have lost our spouse have to be very strong people, because this journey of grief, in plain words sucks.
I am faking it until I can make it. I tell everyone that, because, that is EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING.
God bless you and keep you strong.

Apr 07, 2012
No one can love you till you love yourself.
by:

Having another relationship does not fill that awful void. And it is NOT the answer to beginning this new life you must face. When the love of your life dies half of you is torn away.

You feel every emotion under the sun except contentment. Being happy with who you are and the life you now lead is THE hardest part of grief. It is like a huge speed bump that we all are so sure we will never get over.

I am also in the 2 year 4 month mark as of yesterday. When the 6th of the month rolls around it still brings me a sigh of sadness. BUT I force myself to do new things that I have not done before. They are an adventure and sometimes it brings the most god awful memories but other times a smile. I just got back from N.C. It rained I got lost to and from Yet...

I was using my independence that was forced on me the day Paul Died. It does get better, but not if you sit there and spend all your time remembering/thinking of all that you lost. It is HARD to find the joy in life, but you will never find it if you don't reach out for it. Please do not try to find a substitute yet. There is none and you need to be happy with yourself before you can share yourself with another...
HH

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