"My One Son"

by Deborah Smith
(Opelika, Alabama)

My son was murdered at the young age of 39. I received the devastating news from a phone call from Oklahoma, I live in Alabama. I did not get to tell my only child goodbye, and this haunts me to this day. April 20, 2014 will be three years. The man that shot my son in the head with a pistol only spent 8 months in jail. I am not a wealthy woman and could only do very little for my son who was not able to defend himself. The man who murdered my son did have money to back him. It was declared as "manslaughter" by the judge. Justice is not fair for someone that cannot defend themselves and they only went by the murder's story, which did changed 3 times in court !! Surely Karma is not the only choice of punishment while he lives freely on earth. I have lost my Mon and Dad, but the loss of "My One Son" shook my entire world and changed my life completely. Please do not have sympathy for me. That is not what I am wanting. I shall continue to grief in my own private world.

Comments for "My One Son"

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Apr 27, 2014
by: Anonymous

I can't know how you feel, but I lost my 40 year old son three years ago on 4/30 and I do the private *ell of missing your son. Everyone thinks you have gone on, but really? Your heart was broke when his stopped beating, and the pain is unbearable. I don't feel sorry for you, I hurt for you because I know somewhat of the your loss. I will pray for you and light a candle at church today for your son.
I posted today under "sweet john's Mom"
I hope you can have some peace, somehow..

Mar 27, 2014
My one sin
by: Grieving mom

It has been 8 months since our son was taken from us. My son was 24. I feel your anger and futility. I'm there with those demons too! His life is ended and my husband and my surviving children are still bleeding out! As a mother we fix our children's problems, we advise them on how to work through problems. I cannot fix this and I feel like an alien in my world. Dealing with losing him is unthinkably horrific, we are making no progress "dealing". What's as hard is watching my husband of 24 years fall apart a little more each day. To see my middle son 23 age 15 years in 8 months. The terror written on his face in worry lines and sleepless nights from over work. Just trying to hang on. We are all like the walking dead. But as a mom, we must keep going. That is the deal when you become a mama. Please hang on. I'm trying.
I send my thoughts and my sincere hope for strength.

Mar 25, 2014
Creative Grieving
by: Deborah

After reading the posts that have been made saddens me more to see and hear all the injustice toward parents of a murdered son. I do not know what would be worse, to know who murdered my son and be able to track his freedom or not knowing who the person was that did the murder.............Either way it is a everlasting nightmare from that moment on. Injustice, what a @#$%&# word. I have made "My One Son" this promise. What would they do call me crazy ?? Yes I am NOW. Our judicial system does have a price. Our judges do have a price.. Our DA's do have a price. Money speaks loud in our court system ..

Mar 25, 2014
My One Son
by: Anonymous

Hi Deborah, my heart is with you and we all share this this horrific pain with you. My 21 year old son was also murdered three years ago, shot in a "drive by robbery" and to this day his murderer has not been caught. I pray everyday for Justice but sometimes we have no choice but to believe that Karma or God's Karma will prevail. I'm holding onto the belief that murderers will have to answer to what they have done, either in this lifetime or the next but they will have to answer or experience what they have done to others. Of course I prefer they pay now, but that is not for me to decide I suppose. May your highter power comfort you until you and your son can be reunited.

Mar 25, 2014
Reply to everyone's comments
by: Deborah

I do want to thank you for making comments regarding my post. I can feel your pain and I am so sorry WE all went through the heartache of losing a child. Life will NEVER be the same. I do not understand the reason WHY we had to go through this and I will be crying on my death bed for the loss of my son.

Mar 24, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I lost my son at age 39 also. It is devastating and painful. It has been 16 months and is still horrible. You have your own painful journey with all that you have had to endure and it is terrible! No one knows but a parent how bad it is to lose a child! I lost my parents and husband but this ruins your life. Life is never the same. Shattered into pieces! A void life now.

Mar 24, 2014
My one son
by: Michelle

I like you did not come to this site for sympathy, I feel sorry for myself everyday. There just are no words for those who have lost a child. We here understand the heartache and emptiness of loosing the largest part of us. My daughter Megan was out on her morning run when she was hit by a commercial truck. They never drug tested the driver because she told cops who also just happened to be a relative that my daughter ran out in front of her. She was my whole life. I used to believe in what goes around comes around but no matter how hard I try to go through my past, she did not deserve death at the young age of 22 just as your son did not deserve his.

Mar 24, 2014
My deepest sympathies
by: Jan

My brother was murdered six years ago and the piece of garbage who did this awful thing had been free for two years now. I totally know your grief!

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