my only sister, and brother in space of 4 years

by Claire
(Ireland)

im now 25 years old, i lost my only sister wen i was 21, she was only 3 months away from her 20th birthday she was killed in a hit and run, she and my little brother had just moved to a new town only 2 months prior with my mam and dad, sarah hit it of straight away, finding new friends got herself a bar job ( were old place they lived she always seemed shy and could n be her self around our old area) she was just starting to come out of her shell, she attended her first night club in the new town, and wen she came out that night instead of getting on coach with all her mates she decided to go on a "walk" up a country road with no lights, and "fell" asleep on side road and was run over, until this day tat story dont seem right, did not sound like something my sister would do, but this is wat police came up with, and we had no choice but to except this, then after a horrible blurry year the court case and inquest came, they found the man i the van tat ran her over and never stop. said he thought was "pile" of bricks on the road, (witch we never believed sarah wore a white coat that night and white jean) he lied and got of with a 2 thousand euro fine.. i still didnt feel like i grief'd because i was so strong for my mam and dad, we wore all just getting back to normal (even though u never do after something like tat) we wore trying and getting on, and 2 years after this my 2 brothers had a petty fight 1 night and my brother told my other 1 to get out of his house, so my brother decided to try walk home from were he was and also walked a dangerous road and got struck by a car and killed, but this guy stopped, and same thing happened all over again, buying another sibling after what happened our sister, and for the 2 of them to die the same way, it will be 2 years in feb tat my brother dies, so within the space of 4 years ive lost my 2 best friends, i didnt realise how close i was or how much i needed and depended on them now there gone, my mam had 7 kids now only 5, and i was as age goes in the middle of mark and sarah, i got through most of it because of my boyfriend at the time, he was my rock, but 1 month ago he broke up with me out of the blue, after being together for 7 years, i now live in a small flat and its like all my grief is hitting me at once, now tat im alone the depression is kicking in at its worst, and to try a site like this to just write it all dwn makes it feel a little bit better, so that my story so far, if any1 wants to talk to me or going thru similar stuff, please feel free to txt back, im always here.

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Dec 05, 2012
I Understand for Diego
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Diego,
It has been a long time I have seen your name come up in a post. You write differently. You seem to have a more positive way of expressing yourself. You sound as if healing is taking place in you. But I am under no illusion to what you are feeling inside. You lost your brother and it will hurt for a very long time. You seem to have some acceptance of your loss of your brother and your responsibility of bringing up your nephew like a son. Bless you for this. Your brother will be proud of you.
Diego there is so much death in the air it seems unreal that people are dying faster. You are right we have breath so we have no choice to go on in life whether we like it or not. But life is miserable without our loved one's with us to enjoy each day. Now Christmas is coming this will be painfull for all of us. This is the first Christmas that you won't have your brother with you and I won't have my husband and everyone here won't have the one they have lost. Let us say a prayer together for all of us.
May God continue to Comfort and Heal you from your sorrow and loss of your brother. May life be good to you and your nephew and your family and may you all be safe and free from loss. May we all here have a Blessed Christmas in how we celebrate this. Best Wishes. Doreen

Dec 04, 2012
my only sister, and brother in space of 4 yrs.
by: Doreen U.K.

Claire I am sorry for your loss of your brother and sister to a road traffic accident. To lose a sibling will tear you to pieces. There is 6 children in our family and if I lost one of them my life would be seriously fractured.
You are carrying a heavy burden with grief and would benefit from seeing a grief counsellor to support you whilst you work through your grief. You would move through your grief better with skilled support. If you kept a journal and wrote down all your feelings and hurt and pain and anger this would help you also to expel this pain from your system and allow healing to take place.
You are on your own now in a flat and perhaps you would need some company to help you to not feel so lonely. Our lives are never the same after we lose someone in death. I hope that you have supportive other family members who can help you through your chaos and pain and friends who won't forsake you when you need them.

Dec 03, 2012
I Understand
by: Diego

Hi Claire, sorry to hear about the loss of your brothers, I understand what you are feeling, I’m 28 by little brother pass away six months ago he was only 26, he was such a happy and healthy young man, he died suddenly on his sleep, no signs of warning and just when his career as an engineer was flourishing, he had a son (9) my nephew was his most precious treasure, some time ago while talking with my brother he ask me to take care of his son if something ever happened to him, to honor him that’s what I’m doing I’m taking care of Sebastian as if he was my son the problem is that he looks just like my brother he reminds me of him every time I look at him…I try to be strong for my parents but I’m not going to lie, I feel hit by a train every morning, I feel cheated…but I’m conscious I have no choice, to recall a phrase of one of my favorite movies “Keep busy living or Keep busy dying”, this is life, I just hope to do my best here on earth until I meet my brother again…Claire you also have to realize you have no choice, you have to keep going no matter what. This is my e-mail if you want to drop me a line: descobarledesma@gmail.com

“If you are going to hell, keep going” – Sir. Winston Churchill

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