My other half

by Noy

I lost my wife February, 13 2014. She had caught the flu and had severe pneumonia but her white blood cell count was so low her body never had a chance to fight back the infection. She ended up having to be put on two different life supports the entire time she was sick. One for her lungs and one for her weak heart. I went to see her everyday that week so I could be with her every chance I got and so that I could be there when she woke up. The doctors told me that she was making progress and getting better everyday. Hearing that every day gave me hope.
Then that dreadful morning I received a call from the doctors. They told me there was a complication and ask me to come as soon as I could. When I got there they told me that a vein in her brain had ruptured and that she had already passed away ealrier that morning, something that was one in a million they said, she just turned 31. My heart shattered when they told me that. Then all those pieces were stepped on when they disconnected her from the life support and her warm hand that I held so tightly to turned cold. I never got to say goodbye and I love you. This all happened in just one week.
I just turned 29 and we have been together for 11 years with 3 beautiful children, my son 8, my daughter 6, and my youngest daughter who turned 1 on February 19 the following week. I don't understand...... we had so many things we were going to do, like what to do for our daughter's birthday. We were going to get our own place, we had bought pots, pans, silverware, the whole nine yards. But now those plans are out of reach. Every thing feels empty now. I know I have to be strong for my kids but its so hard. I don't know what to do, things are not the same anymore. She was my light in the darkness and now when its dark as ever my light is gone.

Comments for My other half

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Mar 22, 2014
I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

Hi there - It has been 6 months for me now and i remember when my dreadful day of 21 Sept 2013 happened, I just wanted to push the fast forward button in life to get rid of the pain. My husband was 48 who died of a sudden heart attack and was and still is the love of my life. Sitting here 6 months later, i have kept myself busy to try and cope with the pain. But tonight for some reason, i cant stop thinking about him and have come back to this website. I havent been on for about 3-4 months but know i will always come back here as I need to 'pay it forward'. I need to be here for those who have the raw pain of grief, of joining this horrible widows club where the fee's we have had to pay to join is way too high. I am here to talk to if need be day or night. I know for the first month or so i was on this site all the time as i wanted to reach out to people who 'get it' or know how i feel. Just live day by day at the moment and think of the great times you had and dont dwell on what could have been or what should have been as this will do your head in. Remember i will check this site out and will be a friend anytime day or night.

Mar 07, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: lawrence

My heart breaks for you; to lose such a young wife is a catastrophe so immense that nothing in your future life will cause you such pain and overwhelming agony..
You say that you don’t know what to do; well I’ll tell you, do nothing but grieve, cry and look after your lovely children.
There is an old saying “MAN MAKES PLANS AND GOD SMILES”
this just about sums up the vagaries of life.
Why this should happen to you, to be left with three beautiful children alone, is a question there is no answer to.
You have joined a web site for people who are also suffering the loss of a special one and we are all in pain without the person we loved more than life itself, so read all our stories and I hope it helps; it certainly helped me when I lost my deeply cherished wife on Christmas Day 2012, suddenly in an instant, one minute talking the next dying, a wonderful death for her but agony for her family who were all gathered together for lunch..
As I repeat, it’s just life.
With deepest sympathy

Mar 06, 2014
My other half
by: Doreen UK

Noy I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife to a sudden death. She was so young and this is the worst experience of your life to lose your wife so quickly. You are in the first stages of raw grief. You must make time for yourself and to grieve your loss. Don't become so busy with the children that you lose yourself in caring for them. It is good that you will have a diversion from your pain by concentrating of your children but see if you can get support from family to care of the children thus giving you the time you need. You will have this time when the children go to bed. Make this time useful and beneficial to caring for your own needs. There will be so much to process at this time but pace yourself and take one thing at a time. Make priority lists and do only those things that are urgent. If you are struggling you can see a counsellor to help you with your grief and also to put some structure in your life for your caring of the children. I presume you still have to work at a job for a living and so this will be a difficult time for you. My heart breaks for you and for your children without a mother. You will be the primary nurturer of your children. I am sure you will do a wonderful job as a father and also a mother. My husband worked away from home for over 47yrs. of his working life. I had to become mother and father to 3 children all Adults now. But when my husband was dying of cancer he was grieving the loss of being a father to his children. He became aware of this emotional pain for him. I assured him he was a good father and he had to work hard to put a roof over our heads and food on the table whilst I cared for the children. Some things in life are tough but one just goes on and does the best they can. He died 22months ago. I am heartbroken. I believe in God so I get my support from God and my comfort. But it is a very lonely life from here on. It will be a hard battle for many weeks and months till you are able to recover from grief. May God come close to you and your family and Comfort you and Give you His Peace.

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