My own 911
Sept 2011 that is. The 13th. When my son texted me to say "Dad, you have to get here. Right now!" I got that gut twisting nauseous feeling but thought of all sorts of other things it could be. If only. My 25 year old only daughter, a beautiful caring amazing young woman had been found drowned in an estuary of the ocean in Vancouver BC. No answers are to be had yet as to how or why, and it has absolutely shattered everyone who ever knew her. It takes all I can muster to simply get through each day and if it weren't for my son and his new wife I honestly don't know where I'd be now. I've lost people I loved dearly before, but nothing compares to this and it is different than before. It hits without warning anytime, anywhere, and can floor you with it's severity. The ups and downs are staggeringly different, no middle ground it seems. She was the true love of my life, my pride and my joy and the world has changed forever once more for us. Not knowing does not make it worse - it simply doesn't get worse than this. It just gives me somewhere to focus all my resources in finding out and I don't fool myself into thinking I'll have the answers yet I have to try. I've had her motto tattoo'd on my shoulder, an ambigram that simply says "Carpe Diem", the meaning of which she lived to the fullest. I feel her loss every second of every minute and pray there is a better place, that she is just waiting around the corner, that I will be with her again for all time.
God I miss her