My Parents are Gone.

by Pat

My life is currently not going well. I have lost both parents to cancer. First, was my Dad about two years ago, then my Mom. I feel numb still from life and loss. I miss them especially my Mom, everyday. I talk to her and when I see a hummingbird, I know its my Mom saying Hello to me. I always say Hi back. I would like more signs from them and have not witnessed anything major in about a year.
I wonder if it will ever get better and will it ever Not hurt anymore? It still hurts all the time. I have accepted it and miss them, but know they are gone forever. I know that they are in a better place without cancer anymore in their bodies. I am glad that the cancer is gone and they are happy and carefree. I just wish I could hear my Mom's laughter and talk to her on the phone at night.
I pray to my Mom at night and think of her daily. I discuss my life with her and ask for her help and guidance. I can feel her when she visits my life. It is a comforting feeling, like a blanket over me to keep me safe and secure. I don't feel it as often as l would like too, but she does visit once in awhile. I miss them both and still think of them everyday. I love my parents and hope they are watching over me from heaven.

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Dec 02, 2013
Christmas without mum and dad
by: Anonymous

I may not be young at 36 but I feel too you to face another Christmas without my mum and dad. I don't want to put up decorations I don't want presents and I don't want to be a bore but my Christmas dinner table is empty without them. There is no getting away from it Christmas will happen and I will miss them. Dad went first in 2006 and just as mum said that 2012 would be a good year for our family she was dying. In may she passed leaving me and my sisters adrift in our grief. How could the two people who kept me on the straight and narrow be gone before I really learnt how to be an adult???? I still eat too much junk and stay up all night drinking on a work night. I'm a mum too and me and my daughter have just got naughtier since they left. I don't feel in control and I want them to be ther to give me that look that means I've been rash or childish and I can then step up a gear. I like many others didn't realise how much you miss your parents until they are gone. They drive you nuts but I wish my mum was here to get on my nerves and my dad was here to lose his temper with me. Through out the year I can't pretend I'm ok that I can cope without them. At Christmas I realise I don't want to be ok or to cope with out them. I want to show my dad my labrador puppy that I've trained to be so good. I want to show my mum my new dress and that I've lost a few pounds with a new healthy eating plan. But they are not there and I don't believe in heaven so how do I connect to them still. I can't make sense of these feelings and it feels silly to express that after almost a year and and seven months I don't want to do Christmas with out my mummy. At least when dad died I had to be strong to support my mum but now I feel like there is no one to be strong for. Everyone seems to have gotten over it and so if I crumble I'm not letting anyone down. Christmas there is no getting away from it! It's coming even though it brings me pain that I just want to shut out. I miss you mummy and daddy and I want to rewind to a Christmas when you drove me bonkers.

Jul 22, 2012
lost my dad and 2 dogs
by: Anonymous

i know how you feel i will pray for you sharon.

Mar 20, 2012
by: LOST

I am in the same boat as you. My father dies of cancer 9 years ago and my mother of cancer 11 months ago. I can't stand the pain of missing them so much. I never thought such pain existed. I used to be a strong person. All my strength is gone and I only have pain. Since my mother died I wonder what I ever did so wrong to have also lost her 13 days after being diagnosed with cancer. My faith is so shaken. I don't get any signs from her. I feel so much guilt and think maybe she is mad at me even though i never left her side. Maybe i should have advocated more with her doctors. I just miss her so much I can't stand it. Maybe because I was an only child i feel my family is gone. Each day seems to get harder than the day before. I thought it would get easier but it is not. I am like a robot i go to work put on a fake smile, come home and cry. I can't accept that she is gone because if the doctor had caught her cancer in time she would not be gone. This is living hell.

Mar 20, 2012
your are not alone
by: marky pars s/ wales

know how you feel , lost my dad 7 months ago
i felt my dad around on more than one occaision
thought i was losing things at first then realised he is still there from time to time
its weird , a feeling thats hard to describe or understand on times ,found you cant tell loved ones
or people close as they think you need help .
nice to know im not alone .

take care

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