My Partner-In-Crime

by Amy
(Brooklyn, NY)

As a little girl, I followed my dad around like his clone. I was his clone and am still very much a reflection him. I have his big, curly hair and most importantly, his sense of humor. Recently in life, I discovered I also have his 110% attitude. When we care about something, we never do it half-assed. Unlike my sister and my mother, whom I consider my best friend, my father and I have a sense of humor riddled with crass and inappropriate jokes. At family dinners, while my sister and mother would try to remain "proper" my father and I would sit next to each other, whispering in each other's ear. He was my biggest support in life, whether it was when I decided to go back to school, during my improv career or just participating in banal activities. And on November 28th, 2012, he died of a heart attack on the train. It was his daily commute, into Manhattan where he worked as a Stock Broker. It was nothing out of the ordinary for him. He had no pre-consisting heart problems but because his father had died at the age of 59, of the same cause, my father always had the same fear. I didn't. He was my father and he was invincible. He wasn't perfect; far from it. He had a bad temper and was an idiot around technology but I loved him all the same. He coached my sister and me in all of our childhood sports. Remember when I said he gave his all? Well he didn't just "coach" our teams, he created olympics for my friends for prizes. He took a long time coming up with challenges but I think he enjoyed doing this almost as much as we enjoyed playing them. On long car rides, my father created Jeopardy games, with cash prizes, for us. As we got older, the cash prizes got larger, but he did not care. We would argue over answers but that was just part of the game. He loved telling jokes and made sure everyone knew that he was funny. He was not a modest man, but he didn't have to be. He was remarkable and amazing. And he loved his daughters more than anything. Everyone keeps telling me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. The beauty in this is that I knew. I never not knew. He told me every day. As I got older (I'm 25 now) our relationship became more of a friendship. I would talk about dating, school everything. He always had advice and always wanted to see me happy. We'd go to lovely dinners and Broadway shows. He was usually my date. Dating doesn't usually go well with me.There is nothing he died not knowing about me and I will forever be thankful about this. While I wish I told him how appreciative I was of him, for everything he gave me, I believe he knew that, too. What I will miss the most are the little things, his distinctive walk and voice which I will never forget or the way he had Trader Joe's coffee candy wrappers everywhere. However, what I will truly miss is him, my biggest fan and support. I love you Daddy and will miss you every day for the rest of my life.


Comments for My Partner-In-Crime

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Dec 14, 2012
Daddy's girl too
by: Anonymous

I lost my Dad 6 mo.s ago. We were fishing buddies. He could be a real jerk sometimes especially when he was younger. but I loved him and I miss him. He was old but that doesn' matter. We shared some special times and he always lightened up when I came around. Everybody always said I was the only one who could get him to do something. He was always there when I wanted to visit. He is gone and I just don't have that visit anymore. That is what I miss. I'm glad he is out of the pain he was in. I'm sorry for your loss and I appreciated reading your story. I know this is natural and God will help us both. Peace and love to you.

Dec 12, 2012
My Partner-In-Crime
by: Doreen U.K.

Amy I am sorry for your immense loss of your dad suddenly to a heart attack. You had a life of rich family experiences that you will have forever. Often we are having such a good life we wish it could last forever. We even FEAR it will end too soon which did for you. You have an amazing life with such a rich history. Your father would have lived and taught you well through interacting with you daily. It is when you lose such a parent in life that the impact will have left you feeling the loss immensely.
Because you had such an amazing Dad I hope that you will end up choosing the right man that will enhance what you had in your life. Just don't make any man walk the plank by trying to fill your father's shoes. Your father was a UNIQUE Man. God broke the Mould. So after you have grieved your loss. Meet a man who can be as good as the Man you Lost but in a way that you will make a new History together bringing a lot of the traditions and values into your life as a legacy from your father.

Dec 11, 2012
My condolences
by: Anonymous

I lost my dad last week, and I had a similar experience, because I was very close to my dad as you were with yours. My Dad died very suddenly and out of the blue, he just happened to catch a bacteria, that hid itself as the flu. He died in three days. I'm terribly sorry, I understand how you feel. Be happy you got the time you had though, I'm 14, and wish more than anything I could have had 25 years with my dad.

Dec 11, 2012
It sounds so familiar
by: Anonymous

Hi Amy,

I lost my Dad suddenly in May this year. I had a very similar relationship with mine as you describe. I've just had my first birthday without him and although it was heartbreaking I know that Dad was proud of me and I of him.
Our Dads died knowing how much they were loved and we continue living with the knowledge that they loved us. Always keep this in mind and it will support you in your darkest days.
My thoughts are with you.

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