My precious 29yo daughter was brutally murdered.

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My precious 29yo daughter was brutally murdered.

by Carla Deland Pope
(Royse City, Tx hunt county)

My precious daughter left home to visit a friend. She would not answer any of our phone calls and her friends never saw her. Our hearts sank. We had a feeling that something bad had happened to her. Her Dad listed her as a missing person to the police. We started our search for her and no one she knew had seen her.

Her Dad went to talk to the person she was last known to be with. He went to the guys house and he denied seeing her. On his way back to his truck which was parked at the end of the housing area he noticed a vacant house. He went through the house and on his way back around the outside of the house he found a body that was covered up with a sheet and a door on top of it.

His worst nightmare had just come true. He called the police and she had been out in the extreme heat for 11 days. Her body was down to 36lbs of bones. The crime scene had completely been ruined. They had to identify her by her dental records and unfortunately it was our Heather Leann Pope. She lived a beautiful life helping her friends and just spreading love and happiness to the disadvantaged and to the elderly.

This grief has taken a toll on my mental health, my job performances, my ability to be emotionally there for my other daughter. It has been a year and a half and I still have such raw pain. I don't know when this will come together for me, but I know whoever took her life took a big part of mine and my families. She has a sister, Mom, Dad, Grandparents and cousins that are lost without her.

My hope is that through the Grace of God he will help me to find a new normal for myself and that they can arrest the person who put my daughter through torture. 11 cuts to her head with a masshetti. I would like to find it and visit him with it.

Thanks for letting me share my story and please pray for my sanity and justice for Heather.

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My precious 29yo daughter was brutally murdered.

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Happy Birthday Heather
by: Anonymous

Today is my precious daughter's birthday. She would have been 31. Me, Christi, your Dad, Kendall, Nanny and Papa went to dinner. After eating we thanked God for giving us 29yrs with you. We had our cry and then just sat there. No one wanting to leave or knowing what to do next. Our hearts are still broken and we miss you tearably. This pain is something I know you would not want us to feel, but to love sometimes causes pain and you are very much worth it. Love you forever my sweet darling.

Carla...
by: Vickie

Carla, I don't even know what to say but how terribly sorry I am for you and your family. I lost my 26yr. old daughter two and half yr's ago to an awful accident and hearing your story breaks my heart. I know that you have come to a place that you will find others that will reach out to you. What you and your family have had to endure is beyond comprehension. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you will find some closure one day. With who did this to your daughter. All I can say is keep coming here when you need to. We all care here and know the magnitude of losing a loved one.

God bless you, Vickie

My friend
by: Tanya

Hi, let me begin by saying how sorry I am for your loss and as I told my friend; I just could not imagine that amount of pain from one mother to another. My deepest condolences....

I am trying to find a phone support for my friend who's 23 year old son was murdered but his body has not been recovered yet. The police found a crime scene with lots of blood loss and sent for DNA testing which came back positive that it was her son. He has been listed Missing since Thanksgiving weekend and prayers and support have been streaming. Locally, rumors are hard for her and FBI is now on the case. She is a new Registered Nurse who was going through training while going for her BA in nursing and somehow is trying to take one day at a time. She really needs to talk and share that unfortunate common bond; the loss of an adult child to homicide. Does anyone know how I can lead her to this type of support?
Sincerley,
Tanya

Loss
by: Zoe

First off, I am a widow. Normally I do not comment on other losses. I can barely deal with my own, I do not pretend to understand the loss of a child. I can only imagine, based upon my loss the horrific pain you feel.
That being said, I think there are some things that are the same for any loss.

First, everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You have suffered a loss and frankly you need to take as much time as it takes.
You know I feel like I have not moved off the starting blocks, but when I go back and read some of the things I wrote in the beginning, I know I have changed.

Second, you are not the same person you were 30 seconds before you had this loss. That woman is gone. I find that most people have a hard time understanding that. Grief can define you, it can mold you. but in the end, you are searching for the person this loss this grief has created. It can take a very long time.

Third. You cannot let anyone else rush your grief. I cannot speak to the loss of a child, but the loss of a soulmate, oh my how there are opinions. You should be getting over this, you should be better. Shoulda, coulda, woulda...you have to take the time you need.

Fourth: you need to find an outlet. I found it here, writing. On the blog and in a book. that is how I gave form to my grief. Find an outlet, there must be something, even if it is screaming in the woods, something

Fifth: you will never "get over it" it will in time become easier to live with, but you will always have this thing this grief. You need to see who this new woman is..

Sixth: you need to forgive yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, you did not cause this and you could not stop it. I know for my John I was crushed I had not done more, I did not see this illness, that I could not save him. It took a very dear friend to grab me and say that directly, you did not cause this, you could not stop it. Those are hard words to hear.

Seventh: you are moving away from that moment. I know you don't want to, you don't want to be taken from her, you don't want to move away from those last moments together, even if the moment after is a searing pain. But you are, time moves us all, time makes it impossible not to move. Eventually the brain starts to work around the pain, to make you functional. We don't want to be moved but we are.

I don't know if this helps
but the basic, the same thing that always comes forward is in moments when you cannot think of anything else

On Breath, One Step, One day at a time

Praying
by: Anonymous

I'm praying for your sanity Carla and justice for Heather. Here's a hug too. No words can be right. Just a big hug and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.
God bless you,
Kathy

I'm so sorry..
by: SoSadDad

Carla, you are experiencing the worst possible thing that can happen to a parent. My wife and I have lost both of our adult daughters, the last as recently as six months ago, but not to such an unthinkable cause. I'm assuming that there has still not been a break in the case - that someone who did this is still free to do it again. Carla, we have felt the same emotions; we're going crazy, it just couldn't have happened to us, and for us, why both of them? I wish I had some soothing advice for you because then I'd have some for me, too. Perhaps one of the most important things you can do is find someone to talk to about it. If you're like us and most bereaved parents, there aren't many, including family and friends, who want to listen. But there is a group called Compassionate Friends (CF), which has been a lifesaver to me. It is run by bereaved parents and there are local chapters throughout the US and internationally. Go to compassionatefreinds.org to locate a chapter near you. There is no judgement there, and everyone has experienced something similar. We all know how horribly awful it feels to lose a child, at any age and for any reason. They are always are children, always. I'm passing along advice from "experienced" old-timers, that it gets better with time, a long time, but it always hurts, and they will always be missed. There are other groups, too, like Hospice, which may offer counseling. Just keep taking it minute by minute, then maybe sometime, hour by hour. But get out and find a group that fits. There are many resources available online at CF, but nothing beats being able to talk and cry among others who understand.

God bless you!

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My precious 29yo daughter was brutally murdered.

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My precious 29yo daughter was brutally murdered.