My Precious Sadiemae
This morning I lost a piece of my heart. My 13 year old miniature schnauzer, Sadiemae started having seizures in May and had to be put on phenobarbital. It worked well for a couple of months, but she started having seizures again and had to be on another medication along with the pheno. She stopped having seizures, but developed heart problems and then had congestive heart failure. It was almost unbearable to see my precious baby go from an active loving companion to a withdrawn and lethargic dog. Only occasionally did I see glimpses of my sweet Sadiemae. I tried it ignore the warning symptoms that she was not going to get better because I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I held her and told her how much I loved her every chance I got. Last night, she started getting fluid in her lungs even though she was on Lasix and I couldn't bear seeing her suffer anymore. I got up this morning, gave her a warm bath, didn't give her the nasty medicine and took her to the vet. The vet understood how I felt. With tears in his eyes he told me it was the right thing to do. He had been her vet for thirteen years and he understood my pain in letting her go. He tole me that she had had a good life because of me, but it was Sadie who made my life good. I kissed her and told her goodbye and she went to sleep and escaped her pain and suffering. Now I am so sad and miss my baby so much. I just want to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. I know that the intense feeling of grief will get better, but I also know that when you love this deeply, there will alway be times of feeling that loss. I now look forward to the day when we can be together again and never be separated. I know she will be there to welcome me home.