My Rhondie, My life love, My Everything. Aug, 27th. 2012

by Dave Melton
(Wittman, Az. )

Married for 27 years. In Love with each other for 27 years. I lost my life 4 Months ago, My Rhondie. Aug, 27 2012 I can not imagine my life without her. The pain is so great that it's kicking my butt. I lost my Dad 8 months ago, I lost my life 4 months ago My Rhondie, and lost my Mom the day before Thanksgiving. I would have loved to grieve the loss of my Dad and Mom, but the pain that is consuming me for the loss of my life, My Rhondie has not allowed me to think of anything else.
She had been sick from back problems for 13 years and I have taken care of her. Last April she was diagnosed with Pan. Cancer. The EXPERTS gave her 4 months, She made it 16 months. She is my hero, the strongest person I have ever met. My Rhondie.
Now I am alone without my life, My Rhondie. What do I do now. Part of me wants to stop hurting and the other part does not. I fear tommarrow, for the pain will still be there. I have no purpose. My life is gone, and now there is just an empty shell taking up space. My Family ( whats left ) does not understand and try to offer comfort to no avail. I hear get over it, time will heal. Time is my enemy, each day is a death sentence. I am not doing good with this at all.
I wanted the chicken way out of this and go before my Rhondie, wasn't in the cards. I don't think I can do this alone. I can't believe my Rhondie is gone, My heart is so broken, so empty, the pain is incredible. I know my existance will go on, but I just don't see any sense in it. I am so lost without her, My Rhondie. She offen wondered what her purpose was to be on this Earth, She offen wanted to contribute something special to Mankind, to be remembered for. She did change this world by being here, for the better. Everyone she touched while on this earth for this short time. She made me the person I am today which she was proud of. I would have to say that I would be one of the luckiest to have known her and to have had the honor of having her as my Rhondie. I Love you so very much, I will miss you forever.
Your ( SM ) Dave

Comments for My Rhondie, My life love, My Everything. Aug, 27th. 2012

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Nov 20, 2013
feeling your pain
by: Cheryl

Dear Dave
I lost my husband, Gene, on August 17, 2012 to cancer. We were married just shy of 25 years but together for 30. On Dec 5, 2010 my father died from a stroke(Dec. 5th is my wedding anniversary) and within four months two very dear friends and former colleagues died suddenly. The day after my youngest grandsons 1st birthday, my mother died from emphysema and a "broken heart" (Nov 25) and nine months later my husband died.
While I was so grateful that my father didn't suffer and my mother is now at peace, it seems to be really hitting me now. I miss them so much.
I cared for my husband for 12 years as he recovered from quadruple bypass, then contracted rheumatoid arthritis, macular degeneration, deafness, and finally cancer. It was non-stop care-giving and a 40 hour work week. It was pretty exhausting but we took a vow in sickness and in health and was happy to do it. Gene died at home and with dignity. While it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I was honored to be with him as he slipped from this world.
For months after his death, I went through the "motions of living" to make those around me "comfortable" and did all the stuff I needed to do to fill the endless lonely hours, days, weeks, and months. Thought I was doing good until these past two weeks. With the dreaded holidays and death anniversaries coming up, I am back on the downward track of the emotional roller coaster.
In addition to the grief work I'm doing for my husband, I realized that I never properly grieved for my parents and friends. It seems like it will never end but keep telling myself that each tear I shed for them is a monument that honors their life and memory. I don't care anymore if my crying or sadness bothers other people...that is their problem! I need to take care of me.
I have to feel the grief, embrace it, hate it, but I also have to keep thinking that there will be a day when it won't consume my every waking hour.
Thinking of you- Cheryl

Jan 18, 2013
my Rhondie
by: silver

dear Dave,I sincerely feel your sadness.I went through much what you did.My father died Dec of 2009.Seven months later my friend of 28 yrs died.The next month my mother died. Eleven months later the love of my life,my husband,died.Like you I grieved over the loss of my mother and father but didn't have time for grief for them for very long before my grief at losing my husband became the forefront of my thoughts.When my father died,my mother just sat down and did nothing.She died of a blood clot to her heart for total inactivity.I couldn't understand why she didn't go out and be with her friends(she bowled once a week until my father went into the hospital the last time)I just couldn't believe she just sat there and died.Then it happened to me and I understood how strong that grief with your true love can be. I write poetry and I wrote several for my husband(some after his death) Poetry has helped me get out some of my frustrations and other feelings.I also started writing in a notebook when I feel like I'm lost or lonely OR just scream and/or cry.I still cry sometimes just not as hard or as long.I talk about him a lot to others and that keeps him alive for me.I even talk to him.I don't know if others think I'm crazy but I don't care.Look at some of the poetry on this site.They really show that others feel the way we do.It validates the way we feel.I have some(4 I think)on there.:MY ROCK,HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE,&I ONLY CRY A LITTLE" are part of what I feel.There are other beautiful ones there too.I hope they help you also.I send you prayers of peace and courage.

Jan 13, 2013
My Rhondie, My life love, My everything. Aug, 27th. 2012
by: Doreen U.K

Dave I am sorry for your loss of your beloved Rhondie. Life is so painful after we lose our soulmate. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 8 months ago to cancer. This is a very painful journey of grief. You are not alone. WE all feel the same way, as if life is not worth living, and how are we going to go on in life without the one we loved. It is human nature to want to go before our mate as the loss is so immense it cannot be fully interpreted in words. The feelings are what makes us feel as if life is over. This has got to be the worst experience of our lives to lose someone. Dave if you are stuck in grief try a grief counsellor who could support you whilst you work through your pain. There is no Shame in needing support. None of us knows the pain of grief till be go through this. WE will suffer our loss forever whilst we live. This is the hardest part of our loss.

Jan 11, 2013
making a difference
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss.
My Charlie died 9 months ago and I do not want to live without him either. I do hope to be reunited with him someday and I am afraid if I took my life, that would not happen. I am wondering if I can live "for" him.
Charlie wanted to preserve some of the natural areas of our farmland. I am going to try to do that in his honor.
You say Rhondie wanted to make a difference in the world. I'm sure in your eyes she already did, but perhaps you could do soome of that in her honor - maybe a scholarship or something. It would give you something to work towards.
It is very early for you. I don't believe "time" makes a difference. It just makes us miss them more.
I hope you are able to find some peace. Julie

Jan 10, 2013
by: Anonymous

Your Rhondie looks beautiful in the photo's.
She is with you in spirit and always will be. Your love for each other will never be broken. Love is energy, and so is your beautiful Rhondie.
Rhondie and her love are all around you and in your heart.
Sending you some more love xx

Jan 10, 2013
Your Rhondie, Your losses
by: Judith in California

Dave, I'm so sorry for all of the loss you've endured . Too much too soon for anyone. What you are feeling is so normal. Being lost, wanting the pain of such horrible heartbreak to end but no relief n sight for now because you are so early in the most horrific roller coaster ride of grief.

I know of what I write to you for I am two years and 4 months into my husbands loss who was my life, my everythign and whay I am the woman I am. I was his caregiver for 3 1/2 years and I undertand.

Time is your friend, it will eventually bring you to the peaceful accepting side of grief. It can not be rushed out of us. Take it one breath, one minute one day at a time. Trust that Rhondie is with God in no more pain and suffering. She is among the many angels in heaven and she is watching down on you. Sixteen months was a great feat for her.

Dave, Please talk with God and journal your feelings every day and if you feel you're stuck please seek professional help. You had a lot of loss and each one deserves it's time for grieving.

Take care of you in the process as that's the hardest thing to do after caring for someone else for a long time. I'm still learning for myself.

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