My rock, my lover, my friend is gone

by Crystal
(Rocklin, CA )

Today my husband died on 11/5/2013. We were childhood friends and school bus buddies since 4th grade. In high school we double dated, he with his girlfriend and my with my boy friend. We eloped and celebrated our 11 years of marriage last August. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! He help me deal with the horrible ordeal when my stepfather died when I was 16 and my mother, brothers and I ended up living in a homeless shelter. He became a father figure to my brothers since he was 10 years older than them. When we eloped it was HIS idea and he even planed how we should do it. If I was given the chance to spend a million dollars for a "dream" wedding I would still have eloped the way we did. It was so much fun and it was so US! He got me like no one else ever did. When I was 16 weeks pregnant with my daughter our house burned down. Even though I was watching my house turn to cinder I KNEW we would be fine because we had each other. My daughter has to be delivered by an emergency c-section and he watched my eyes during the whole surgery and kept me calm. I knew again we would survive. He was there through 2 miscarriages never leaving my side. The second miscarriage was very grueling and his love and strength kept me sane. People use to say, "God you guys never fight or argue or anything." I would tell them that is because we have been truly talking and appreciating each other for over 20 years! I have always felt like his queen and my daughter was his princess. He was my rock, my lover and my friend and now he is gone. For the first time in my life I truly feel weak and lost. It breaks my heart to know my daughter only got to share 9 years of her life with him. Today he left with a smile to go to work. He always kissed and hugged us before he left. Then around lunch he slumped in his desk, called the ambulance and died just after he got to the hospital. It was so quick like a candle was just blown out. My rock, my lover, my friend is gone and I can never get him back. I am so heartbroken but yet so thankful to have had him in my life.

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Nov 07, 2013
My rock, my lover, my friend is gone
by: Doreen UK

Crystal I am so very sorry for your loss of your husband to a sudden death. You will be feeling so numb and not FULLY able to process your loss. You had such an amazing relationship that many dream of and when you lose this you lose more. This is the most painful experience of a woman's life when she loses the man she loves.
I lost my precious husband of 44yrs. 18 months ago to a deadly cancer having nursed him for over 3yrs. He was the first love of my life and my last. No one could ever replace him. I watched him die a slow death and it was the worst experience of my life. I miss him so much and every day I feel the loss more. Memories return and leave me broken. This will be an on going experience for some time as the recovery from grief is such a slow process of healing. My heart goes out to you. These initial days are the worst. I got through these days by the good advice on this site. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I am thankful to God for bringing this man into my life and allowing me 44yrs. together. He was gone a lot of the time with his job. We were looking forward to his retirement. Now I do this alone. Try and nurture yourself each day through grief as it does help. I also benefited from good family support. There is no joy in living like this now with our world blown apart by death, but we soldier on for those we have left in our life and who depend on us. This is what keeps me going. May God comfort and strengthen you in the days ahead and give you His Peace.

Nov 06, 2013
Dear Crystal
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to read about your loss. I lost my father the same way, and it is an incredible, awful, devastating shock. You are exactly right, it is a like a candle went out on my life. I hope your memories and the great love you shared will help you get through this awful time. I hope you find strength and comfort on this site. We all are on this horrible journey together. You and your family will be in my prayers. Peace, Barb

Nov 06, 2013
by: Judith in California

Dear Crystal, that you could write this on the day of his death is a show of strength. Your grief is going to be a journey of so many emotions but just rememer that on the end of that journey I pray for you to have peace and accpetance tht God has him now and will care for him the way he cared for you and your child. What a very blessed woman you were to have had a man of great character.

It's been 3 years for me since my love passed.

God bless you on your journey.

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