I am 26. I lost my dad two weeks ago right before Hurricane Isaac. It was extremely sudden. He wasn't even sick. He died in 24 hours.
I haven't graduated college yet. I haven't gotten married yet. We were extremely close, and similar. He left behind me and my two brothers, and my mom whom he was married to for 32 years. My mother is devastated, and she is holding on to me for support. Some days I feel ok, days like today I feel completely alone, and very angry. I try never to show my mom this, I am trying to be strong for her, because she worries a lot, and I never want her to have to worry about me. I don't know if this is right, but I can't care. I just want her to be ok.
My apartment flooded in the hurricane a few days ago, and my ovarian cyst has flared up, because of stress no doubt. I feel like I am drowning in my own tears every day. I just want to be happy, I want my family to be happy, but they aren't, and I'm not.
I feel like I'm 13 years old all over again. I'm angry at God. I'm angry at everything. Today is my first day with my bar tending promotion (I was a server), something my father was very excited for me to do...and now he'll never see me again.
My father was my rock. He was so smart and compassionate and loving, and I have so many questions I still wanted to ask him.
When will I be happy? I feel like no one understands. Does everyone grieve this much? I never stop thinking about him, everything reminds me of him....EVERYTHING. Is it always like that? Am I taking it harder than most people? I feel like I am.