My Rock

by Amanda Kirkham
(United States)

I don't know where to start. My Dad was my world. I'm 33years old and my daddy passed away in February of lung and brain cancer. Its been really hard. My life seems so different now that he is gone. I have two kids and I don't seem to enjoy them as much as I did before. MY Dad was who I went to for everything now I don't have that. I know aim an adult now and I shouldn't be like this but I cant help it. I cant even look at his pictures cause it just reminds me how much I miss him.

Comments for My Rock

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Nov 17, 2012
I would be surprised if you could look at a picture of your father and not cry
by: Nancy

No matter how long it has been since the passing of your father whenever you look at a picture of him, I would assume that you would cry at the sight of his face. He was a part of your life. He will always be a part of who you are. You will be telling stories about him to your children, and your grandchildren and they will be passing on those stories onto their children - that is how history is made. Some individuals I know have taken to even writing significant stories, and putting them down in book form, including pictures so that when the stories get passed down those hearing the stories see "grandpa" and "grandma" and better relate to their history. We are lucky to live in a time where technology affords us this luxury of passing on this onto the next generation. As far as crying - let it be...don't judge yourself...tears are just what they are tears... they are not going to hurt any one...Step out and be creative..try to figure out how you would like to share your father with his family in the next generation...and you will soon see your tears of sadness turn to tears of joy as you laugh at the silly things that you once shared with you father..in another. time...and can now share with your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren years and years from now... Nancy

Nov 16, 2012
Broken heart..dad's and mine
by: Anonymous

My dad died a week ago from end stage heart failure at home in hospice and I helped to take care of him in his last week of life. Even in his worst moments of pain and not being able to breathe , he was worried about me not getting enough sleep. He was my best friend for almost 60 years, and I was so very blessed for God to pick him to be my father. People say he lived a long life; he no longer suffers, he was 85 but is it ever long enough. I know he is looking down upon me and my mom and brother and all of his grandkids but my heart is broken. It's never long enough .......no matter how old children become, when a parent departs, it is a huge painful wound. I will continue to pray that we can get through the holidays by holding on to memories of what a wonderful, gentle man and human being he was, and is.

Nov 08, 2012
I Understand
by: Anonymous

I understand how you feel, my Dad passed away 3 weeks ago from exactly the same thing, lung and brain cancer. The saddest thing is that we didn't even know he had cancer, he was being treated from a skin and muscle disorder and the doctors completely missed the cancer. I miss him so much, he lived so far away (another continent) as well so I wasn't able to be there in the end. I'm finding it very hard, it feels like the people around me expect me to get on with my life like its nothing, but he was My Dad and I just can't. I'll be fine most of the time but somehow break- down at some point of the day. I hope it gets better...

Nov 06, 2012
My Rock
by: Anonymous

I'm not alone in my gieving I have my Mom, but she is dealing with her grief and I don't want to mine on top of hers. I am also married but my husband doesn't understand, he still has both of his parents and he thinks I should be over it by now. I have my good days and then something happens in my life where I need my Daddy.

Nov 06, 2012
It is true Daddy's Girl - Momma's Boy
by: Amanda

Those are the kinds of relationships that have lasted throughout centuries and will continue I imagine till the end of time. I too am sorry for your loss. Grief has its own timetable and you and only you will know when you can stop grieving for your father. There are other men in your community that you can turn to for guidance, wisdom and maybe even protection - they maybe even there now waiting for you to ask for their support. They may come in the form of an uncle, a husband, a brother, a pastor. All of them may be waiting to lend a hand of comfort - maybe you will need more than one. Your father sounds like an exceptional personal so it would not surprise me if it took many individuals to fill the boots that he left behind. Do not focus on your age - it means nothing. Strive to be the best person that you can be...and know that you dad is your best cheerleader encouraging you in everything that you do..Nancy

Nov 06, 2012
My Rock
by: Doreen U.K.

Amanda I am sorry for your loss of your Dad Your Rock.
You are not unusual in feeling a lack of motivation even in motherhood, when we lose someone close and special. Something has happened to us to ALTER the people we are and used to be. We struggle to get back to how we were. Don't try too hard. You are grieveing and this is a very painful and all consuming time for you and all of us who have lost someone close.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 6 months ago and I still can't function the way I want or need to. My life has been turned upside down, and even my Adult children have changed and not as caring as they used to be. We are all going through a transition in our lives.
You were dependent on your father for comfort, for advice, and just the stability fathers provide. This is not a bad thing and not unusual no matter how old your are. We never outgrow our parents and we never outgrow being parents to our own children. Our children will always need our advice and attention and support FOREVER. We will let them go to lead their own lives. But they will come back when they need to.
My husband was my protector and support and I miss him and I will find it hard not having him around to run things by. I learnt much from him and I will miss this also. He was a carpenter and had so many skills that I picked up. What a loss to the world. You speak as if you are on your own without support. I hope that you will have other family members and friends who will be able to support you in your grief and ongoing as life is tough and we all need people in our lives and they need us.

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