by Dee Ridenhour
(Jefferson City MO)
On August 9, 2009, my husband drowned. We will have been married for 18 yrs on June 15. Like most relationships we had our ups and downs. At the time of his death we had been separated for more than a year. However we still spoke daily and had our secret meetings often. Shad and I married young and started our family right away. I always knew he was my soul mate even when we could no longer live in the same house. And the longer he is gone the more that I am in pain. It is not getting better but only worse. I don't know what to do. I try to be strong for our two kids, but I feel like that I am failing them just like I failed him. I take much more pain.
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