My sister broke my heart

I introduced my sister to my best friends son. they were eventually married. after the marriage she and her new husband became jealous of me and my husband. We are more finacially well to do than they are. Also they made it clear that they both hated that I was so close with the mother/mother in law ( my best friend) they worked hard to make her chose between me and them. they announced that if we were invited to family events they wouldnt come. consequently we were excluded. They have a baby and toddler, i am not allowed to see. I tried everything to reconcile with them. Gifts, cards, visits, offering to care for their child. they constantly make up reasons for their actions, imagined slights etc. They behave hatefully but if I show any sign of emotion they begin accusing me of all manner of evil.
needless to say their relationship isn't a good one, unfortunately most of the family is caught up in the BS and feels very sorry for them, in the last 3 years I have lost my relationship with my best friend and my mother.

Help! they are so self destructive and destructive to everyone around them!
I feel like I am going crazy.
I have since discovered that my sister is a closet alcoholic and that does help explain some of the bizzare behavior.
I sought counseling and my counselor tells me I am suffering from trauma. Life as I knew it is gone, the depression and grief are overwhelming. I have given up trying to reconcile with them. They still constantly try to provoke me I try to turn a deaf ear but I admit it does hurt inside.
I feel like I am living in a nightmare, how do i recover?

Comments for My sister broke my heart

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 09, 2014
My sister broke my heart
by: Doreen UK

You have something in common with many of us in this human family.
It is mostly those who are the closest to us who will become our worst enemies. I have a youngest sister out of 5 girls, who was very jealous of those of us in the family who did well. Yet we would sacrifice for her and buy her things so she felt equal. We went the extra mile for her. What she has done now is to take away our inheritance from us, after our father died last week. She changed our father's Will and the order of service. She inherits everything that should have been put in place in the original Will for 6 children. There is nothing you can do about jealousy in families. It is part of the human condition and will exist as long as we live in a sinful world.

I can't understand how your friend could let you go in favour of her son. Who dictates here? Your friendship either wasn't genuine? or your friend needs a REALITY CHECK? perhaps in the way of a CONFRONTATION.
The worst type of hurt is when you have done nothing wrong and so much goes against you without provocation.
My daughter walked away from me for 3yrs. because I befriended my son's EX when she was needy and suffering depression. I put her needs first to come to us for Christmas. I DID THE RIGHT THING? I put the needs of my son's EX first. My daughter should have been mature enough to not make me choose, or look at things the wrong way. she had the key to our home and could come and go whenever she wanted. She could help herself to anything, food, breakfast whatever she wanted. My love embraces other's not just family.
She has changed since she got married. Not the same daughter anymore. Nothing I can do. I am the same mother. But I will walk away from people if I have to. I don't need the wrong people in my life. I need Loyal one's who are MATURE and stand by me.
Find strength in yourself and see things for what they are.
I have enough self esteem to not need the wrong people in my life. I don't waste time trying to win over those people who are not able to make a valuable contribution to my life. I am easy going and I give everything I can when I am able to. I gained some wisdom after losing my husband to cancer over 2yrs. ago. I had people who stole and just came to get from me what they could. GRABBERS. I now define life differently. I keep my children close to my heart, but also at a distance if either of us need this. I can give people SPACE. And I don't tolerate being used. I feel as if I just woke up from a nightmare similar to what you are going through.
If you believe in God Trust Him and live your life with the right people. As Joyce Myers says a lot on T.V. Don't stay around the wrong people. they will bring you down. Try and be encouraging and you will draw people towards you. Don't Fret over those who won't let you in to their lives. You probably don't need them. Good you are in counseling. I have done that many years ago, and in much healthier place mentally and emotionally. Your sister and your friend broke your heart. Your sister has adopted a destructive lifestyle. Why would you want to be around dysfunction? and destructive people? How can they make a positive difference to your life. Get rid of the codependency and you will find Life getting better for you. Build yourself up. And your life. You can be happy again.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Other Loss.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!