My Sister Committed Suicide on Sept. 25th 2011
My sister was five years older than me. She got married very young and had three children with her husband of 17 years. About three years ago she seemed to change. She got into running marathons and became super fit. She left her husband and met a new guy who enjoyed the same things she did. She seemed to be as happy as she had ever been. They got married September 24th and I could not fly to NY to be there because my son was due on the 27th. The wedding was beautiful from all accounts. That night they stayed in the hotel and had a fight. Her husband says it was about nothing and that he thought it was over because she left but then returned and covered him up with a blanket. The next morning they returned to their house to get ready for their honeymoon and he says she took a gun and left. After several hours he called the police. They traced her by using the GPS in her car. She had driven an hour away, checked into a hotel and shot herself. She left a note that said," I am sorry I let everyone down. Maybe I am crazy."
It was a shock and then I had my son two days later so I pushed the pain away to be able to take care of him. I have noticed that I cry very easy now. I was watching the news at work last Friday and saw the Sandy Hook shooting and I have not been able to stop crying. I do have a daughter in 1st grade so it does hit close to home but I feel like I am really just now allowing myself to grieve for her. I feel so guilty, that I was not there to help her. How could I have not known that she was in such pain? I feel that I let her down.