My sister died at 50

by Victoria
(Johns Island SC)

My Beloved sister, Cathi died at the age of 50. She was healthy as a horse until July 4, 2010 when she suffered a mild heart attack. Her only symptom was jaw pain and she felt silly going to ER. Even the ER missed what was going on but finally gave her nitroglycerin and her pain eased, so they implanted a stent and sent her on her merry way.

Well, as the summer progressed things just weren't right and to make long story short, the hospital where she went missed a major blockage so by the time they discovered it, her heart muscle had been severely weakened. They scheduled her for open heart surgery and she passed away when her graft failed to take.

We were told she had a 98% chance of a full recovery and within days we were burying this vivacious person. She was a smoker of 37 years plus she had taken the pill so I wonder if this got her in the end. I loved her dearly and she passed before I could see her, as I lived 740 miles. We drove while she was on life support.
My advice is don't smoke and if you do, don't take the pill or add a bad diet to it. One risk factor is enough. She had big dreams. She was planning on getting remarried in Hawaii and was picking out her wedding dress. Her life changed on a dime.

Also, please pick a good hospital for big surgeries like this, she went to a local hospital that was not up to her challenges. Cleveland Clinic was only 45 minutes away and she didn't want to inconvenience anyone. A Funeral is an inconvenience. You are worth the best and your family deserves it. Her surgeon had been up for 2 days without sleep and wasn't even there when her graft collapsed. At big hospitals, surgeons check on the ICU patient in conjunction with the nurses. I truly believe she would be alive today had she sought early treatment at a better facility.

I helped raise her as she was 5 years younger then me and our parents were divorced. My brother died of suicide at 23 so it was just me & her. I feel like I am going to die of heartbreak. I haven't any children. She left a daughter & son, but they are in their twenties and getting on with their life. I just want to curl up in a ball & follow her. If it weren't for my two little dogs..I wouldn't have any reason to go on.
Vicki

Comments for My sister died at 50

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Oct 16, 2013
Lost your Sister
by: Victoria

I extend my sympathies. A Sister plays so many roles in our lives and when they pass it's as if our support system collapses. I am 3 years out and you are just beginning. I look back and sincerely do not know how I got through it but you will. A counselor told me eventually your brain will exhaust itself from reliving events over & over again and your tears will dry. It took over 2 years. I still think of her everyday and would give anything to have her in my life. I hope you have people in your life to help you through this horrible loss. 56 is way too young to die. So many people I know dislike their Sisters so I feel lucky I had such a sweetie. I thought my niece would fill her shoes but it didn't quite work out that way. I think you are seeking guidance which is a good thing. Please take care of yourself.

Oct 15, 2013
My sister died at 50
by: Kathleen

We just buried our sweet sister Eileen who was 56 and died of sepsis. While she did have lung cancer, she was progressing nicely and was scheduled to come home and start receiving chemo. Saturday she was up and walking and happy, eating and talking with us. Sunday she woke with high fever and swelling body. She was gone by 8pm. We are also heartbroken. Sepsis. I am sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel.

Mar 08, 2012
I know how you feel
by: Lee

Victoria, I have no words of wisdom. Just want you to know I feel the exact same way. My sister passed March 6. She was my best friend and we lived together all of our lives. I took her to urgent care to help with her breathing and did not bring her home. They said she had heart failure from the stress of the breathing tube they inserted. I am so angry and guilt ridden. I still just want to go where she is, but let's keep the faith at least for today.

Feb 24, 2012
getting through it
by: vicki

I am no where near getting over the death of my sister..today at a new Doctor's I broke down when they asked about siblings and mine are all dead. I can only say the brain gets worn out thinking about it and I will never get over it, just getting through it. Please don't give up on life, they would not want that. In fact we can honor their memory by doing little things they would like to do, if there were still alive. My heart aches every day. Some people lose a sibling and it doesn't seem to matter, in my case I lost my best friend. Life is still beautiful although it doesn't ever feel the same. Find a way to help your grief whether it's touching a child, a puppy..just something that you can honor their life. They can live through you. I had a dream that my sister appeared to me and told me she wanted to live again and she would undergo surgery again to heal her heart. I haven't a clue what that meant but I know it was her. I fell 2 months ago off a 9 foot staircase and I should be dead. I suffered some severe injuries but I know she wrapped me in an invisible blanket..nobody at ER believed I survived. Our loved ones are still there, catching us! Live for them and one day you will see them again. Vicki

Feb 24, 2012
My Sisters Died
by: Anonymous

Dear Vicki,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. My sister, Vicki, died on 1/24/12, at the age of 56, from breast cancer. A month before that, another sister died in her sleep. In 2003, my closest sister died of sepsis at the age of 34. I have 2 more sisters and 1 brother left. Still, I don't want to go on. This life is nothing but one giant heartbreak and I am hoping it will end soon.

Best Wishes To You.

Sep 20, 2011
sister died 1 year ago Sept 22,2010
by: Victoria

Thanks Trish.

Jan 25, 2011
No Smoking Please
by: TrishJ

Dear Vicki~
I feel your pain. I lost my husband two months ago and if not for my sister I don't know where I would be. My husband smoked for 40 years. He was on a heart transplant list ~ had surgery in August 2010 to insert a device to keep his heart pumping until a suitable donor was found. I believe when they opened him up and saw the deplorable condition of his lungs (although all the tests indicated otherwise) they knew there was no hope. They never said anything. I took him home in October 2010 to watch him slip away a little bit more each day until he passed away.
I'm sorry for you that you don't have other siblings to help you through this. Your post made me realize how much I love and depend on my sister.

We can all be brothers and sisters for you on this site. There are some fabulous caring people here. Write often, it really helps. Hugs and God's blessings.

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