My Sister Vicki

by By Jeannie

Probably the worst day of my life is October 15, 2011. I was at a football game and my daughter called on my cell phone. She said, "mom I have to tell you something really, really, really terrible". I'll never forget those words for the rest of my life. My sister Vicki was gone.. She had taken her life, she had killed herself, she was dead. Everything else was a blur. Someone helped me out of the stadium.

Vicki was my younger sister. She was the person everyone wanted to sit next to at a party. She could make you laugh until you peed you're pants, she would give you the shirt off of her back if you needed it, she loved everyone, she was Vicki...

I wish I would have gone back to Virginia when she begged me to the Monday before she died, I wish I would have taken her call on Friday night as she contemplated death...I wish, I wish, I wish.

It's been almost 10 months since Vicki killed herself and the pain and grief just won't go away.

I was the oldest in the family and I promised my Mom that I would always take care of my sisters and brothers. It does haunt me that I didn't.


Comments for My Sister Vicki

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Aug 09, 2012
Response to Doreen
by: Jeannie

Thank you for your comment Doreen. My husband insisted within hours of Vicki's death that when we got back home that I needed to see a grief counselor but I insisted I could work it out myself. Ten months later, it ain't working out. My heart goes out to you in the loss of your husband. That would be the hardest loss of all.

Aug 09, 2012
My Sister Vicki
by: Doreen U.K.

Jeannie I am sorry for your loss of your sister vicki. I was the middle daughter but given huge responsibilities to look after my siblings. A huge task. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR VICKI. She was of a mature age and able to take responsibility for herself. Saying this it is human nature to blame ourselves and feel guilty for what we could have done better. My nephew aged 30yrs. threw himself in front of an express train. He was crying out for help and no one came. My sister feels the same way as you do. She says. "If only I had taken him back home and looked after him" but Peter her son was rude to his stepfather a good man. so my sister could not take him back. her husband would have left. She was in a difficult situation. She let her son down instead and he killed himself. My sister was mad with grief and had to have a grief counsellor come to her home to assist her with her grief. 6 years on my sister has recovered from the awful pain but she will always have the scars. Anyone faced with a family death by suicide should look for support from a grief counsellor. the Counsellor is trained to hold the pain till one works through this. the recovery is less painfull. the grief is very painfull to work through. But the rewards are worth it. My sister is a different person and well able to support others with a loss. She is my best support whilst losing my husband 3 months ago to a deadly cancer. Don't suffer alone.

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