my sister who was more than a sister to me she was my bestfriend

by Alex Bear
(springhill fl. usa)

I was 13 years ole when i lost my older sister. She was 16 years old. I never knew life with out her. She always made every thing okay even when nothing was okay. I was very close to my sister. I don't remember a time when she wasn't their. We always shared a room. She would ditch her friends for me. We never fought. I don't ever remember getting into any fight with my sister. My sister was my best friend. The day i ran away she came with me to make sure i would be okay. The day we ran away was the last time i ever saw my sister. My sister was killed that day. I told my sister to run as my parents picked me up. My sister was killed February 27, 2012. She was screaming for me to run but i froze. I froze and i never saw my sister again. I was sent to the harbors. That really early morning i saw my sister right their next to me telling me it will be okay. She was cold and blue. She was bot my sister. I had night mares every night. I was always so scared. But when ever i felt scared and i couldn't breath i always felt my sister their. Coming home to are room pained me. Seeing her empty bed. I would just sit their and cry. I would just let my self drown in my tears. I couldn't bare seeing the empty chair at the table. I cried my self to sleep every night. My older sister as no longer there. I had to be the older sister to my younger siblings. That scared me. When ever im asked if in the oldest i say yes. But i always feel guilty. Like Kaitlynn would want me to say no. No i had a older sister. I don't decuss Kaitlynn. The people who know me know the truth. But i don't talk about it. I force my self to live knowing that ill never be truly happy. Every day i wake up and i feel Kaitlynn right next to me. Every time i live another day i know its because of my old sister. And crying over the person you loved is okay. Every time i talk about my sister i burn up and i become physically sick. Even to day after its been over 2 years and I'm 15 now i become physically sick. And burn up just like in right now. Rip Kaitlynn Lynn lane January 1, 1996 - February 27, 2012. You were an amazing sister but. A better best friend. I will always miss those bed time stories like i Do right now when its March 30th, 2014 at 2:11 AM and i can't sleep. Rip my sweet angel.

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Mar 31, 2014
my sister who was more than a sister to me she was my best friend
by: Doreen UK

Alex I am sorry for your loss of your older sister. It is unclear how your sister died. Did she have an accident when she was running? Who is caring for you? You should not have to live in such FEAR. You need nurturing and a caring Adult to talk to and help you through life and your education. You are caring for your siblings you say? How many? Do you have parents? or are you the sole carer for your siblings? You need to talk to a counsellor to help you work out your pain and difficulties. You say you were running away from home so I guess you were afraid of someone at home. You need to open up to someone you can trust so they can help you to grieve for your sister. You say that you will never be happy. This is so sad for one so young to never know Love and happiness. Perhaps you can write more of what is happening in your world to make you so scared. I know a bit of how you feel because when I was growing up I was scared. I didn't talk to anyone. I just kept all these feelings inside and I made myself ill. You say that you are feeling ill. It won't get better until you release your fears and pain at losing your sister. This is a horrible experience for you to go through and someone needs to know how bad you feel and offer you Help. WE on this site will help you as best as we can. Don't be afraid.

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