My so beloved son and very best friend Timothy

My only children identical twin blue eyed boys They were the greatest joy in my life Both put ahead in school amazingly brillant, gifted at math, language, & sports. As a mother I felt loved and proud My boys were everything a parent could ever hope for Then one day at 14 yrs old their aloft father convinced them to come live with him.I had divorced their father due to drug use and lack of responsibility when my boys were three.I was discouraged from telling the boys the truth about their dead beat dad.Society said to never talk ill of the non custodian parent, we'll that was the beginning of the end. My sweet caring innocent boys went wild.Barely graduating HS both began their long road of addiction to Heroin.Through yrs of turmoil, rehabs,incarcerations,& losses at what we believed was rock bottom the nightmare was going to be over promise of no more use my beloved Timothy decided one more last time.He was left alone at a gas station bathroom where he overdosed to be abandoned my his friend who decided he would be in trouble so he did NOT call for help for my son.He simple abandon my son & drove himself home to get high.My beloved son Timothy was found 4 hours too late.His twin ,his mother,his young son will be forever morning this horrific loss.Someone please help me find hope in God I have lost my faith My Timothy was my sunshine everyday.He was always hopeful always positive loved life.He was the family rock.he was there for me when I lost each parent to cancer my only sisters when I broke both of my legs Timothy was always close to family Grandma's boy mama's boy.He was loving kind & caring to all.Helping the needy the underdog He was so much fun to be with.No matter the situation Timothy always had something encouraging to say.His twin spent much of his adulthood in & out of jail father two children has had much less time with past family events.Due to the loss of his twin he has stopped heroin use & spends his time working and living with his children ex wife & her retired parents.He is too influenced by them for us to close. So if anyone knows how I can regain my belief in God help In life I tell no one of my loss in faith I live in an isolated small town Have been to every church here no hope

Comments for My so beloved son and very best friend Timothy

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Mar 08, 2014
My Timothy
by: Jennifer

Thank you all for your condolence, love, support, and sharing in your own losses.There is no greater pain than the loss of one's child. I am coming to accept that I will never be the same as I was and that I will grieve the loss of my precious son Timothy forever. I have a wonderful avenue dedicated to my son in that I am finally going to complete my college degree to become a BSN bachelor of science nursing! Timothy will be so proud. As I am proud of him. Our unconditional love, trust, and belief in each other will get me through til' we are rejoined in Heaven! P.S. Timothy since you made it to Heaven before I did I am expecting with your expertise in construction that I will be coming home to a mansion of unimaginable glory! I love you son......... All my love to you, Mom

Mar 07, 2014
by: Jolynn

How sad that you lost Timothy. I too lost my oldest son to a Heroin overdose. He was 26 and an officer in the Marines training to become a fighter pilot. Drugs can pull a person down no matter what their back round or circumstance so please try not to feel guilt. They are lured into drugs for many reasons and it takes over their rational judgment and it's so compelling that almost nothing can be done by an outsider. You and I were helpless to "fix" things. What a sorrowful way to lose a child. We think of it as such a waste as that child had so much good inside of him. We are now on a journey of grief which is ever-present. We are forever changed. At some point we will be able to look back on their lives and recall the wonderful moments and we won't be so transfixed with the agonies of their quick deaths. I wish u peace and offer you condolences on your beloved son timothy.

Feb 19, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I'm so sorry you have lost your son to death. I lost my oldest son 15 months ago. Your grief is overwhelming you and that is why you can't see God. It is the hardest,hurtful and horrific thing to go through to loose your child. Just take one day at a time. It takes a long time to heal. Questions abound that can't be answered. My heart goes out to you.

Feb 18, 2014
My so beloved son wand very best friend Timothy
by: Doreen UK

I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved son to an untimely death. WE do our very best as parents. As our children get older we cannot advise them or try to re-parent them as they don't like it. Divorce and also the lack of a father figure in a boys life can cause many a boy a lifetime of problems going off the rail. It is usually the mother's who are the one's who stay around and always look out for their children.
My husband worked all over the world with his job in 47yrs. and was not available to his 3 children. Our son grew up with emotional problems as I tried to be mother and father to him. I took my children to church regularly to give them that solid and stable foundations. But our son was a REBEL, and held it against me for taking him to church which he found boring. So you see, even if you try to do the right thing it can work against you. My husband had a 3yrs. battle with cancer and felt the pain of not being available for his children. I assured him he was the best father he could be and he had a job to do to pay for the roof over our heads and also put food on the table. He couldn't do it all. Life can smack a man in the face trying so hard. I feel sorry for many a man who misses out on seeing his children due to his job.
MY husband had a hard cancer battle and died 21 months ago. I MISS HIM SO MUCH. I feel my pain more these days.
My nephew was like a son and threw himself in front of an express train 8yrs. ago after suffering depression. We all have fractured live. Praying for healing for my husband due to my strong Faith and Belief in God all my life, caused me to lose my Faith and be ANGRY WITH GOD for a long time when He was not healed from his cancer. But I soon found out this loss of faith and anger at God was also a stage of grief. My Faith and Belief has been restored. Many people can testify to having lost their Faith at some time in their life. Even Pastors suffer this also. It is through our many trials and tribulations that come our way that we learn more of God in our life and how He brings us through. This strengthens our Faith. Keep Strong. God knows what you are going through and He will guide you through your grief. Pray and read the words to Hymns they will strengthen and encourage you. WE learn more about God in our valleys. One day we will be re-united with Jesus who is coming back for us as He promised and you will see your loved one's again. May God comfort you in your loss and give you His Peace. May God guide your footsteps and keep His Hand on you always!!!.

Feb 17, 2014
there are no words
by: chism's mom

I too lost my son to an overdose. My heart what is left of it feels your pain. And I allow myself to be angry. I had a doctor tell me to pick up a hobby. Instead I picked up a desk chair and threw it at him . The emotions you are going through are normal. Not only did you have a funeral for your son. It was part of yours as well. I say that because when my son died apart of me also died. Don't let anyone tell you how. What when to grieve. I have such quilt with my son's death that it is hard to breath. There are no words of wisdom. Sometimes most of the time we just need to talk. Cry. Scream and express our emotions. I too am angry at GOD. I too have a problem with faith. My wonderful aunt reminds me of JOB from the bible. The test of faith thing. You are not alone. There are other mothers out there and we all need each other. Hugs from alabama.

Feb 17, 2014
your beloved son
by: Anonymous

My son was also my light. I loved him so much, and he too died of a Heroin overdose. Its seem rampant, and I don't know why we don't deal with addicts in a humane way. I'm sick that we lost our son's, and I'm afraid things will never be quite right without them. You should be able to regain your faith, but you can be mad that your son was taken from you. Losing a child, especially to drugs, which also causes guilt is so very hard. You have a lot of sad company unfortunately.

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