My son Brett was found dead in a hotel

Oct 7 2012. My son died. Brett was an alcholic,drug user and a diabetic. He lived his life this way he was 31. When not drinking and drugs he was the most compassionate caring person you can ask for. On the other side he would get violent and verbally abusive to his parents or girlfriend and anyone else. We tried everything like everyone does. He has left two young sons.On oct 7 2007 we lost a son from suicide,Brett also died oct 7 2012 . Two of our sons gone in four years I can not cope with it the hurt is so bad.

Comments for My son Brett was found dead in a hotel

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Oct 23, 2012
R.I.P our son
by: Anonymous

Our son died in a motorcycle accident three yrs ago.. I haven't found it within myself to live again, I'm depressed I'm only 42 he was only 21 still had his whole life to live. No children so much he didn't get to do! I think the worst is we don't know what caused the accident the police within the first five min said he lost control 1block from his house. I will never believe that! I am torn never in my life did I ever imagine I would have identical twins.. I was blessed then at the age of 21 god took Andrew Lee Banks from us!!! R.I.P. my son

Oct 21, 2012
Where did it happen?
by: Looking for stories

Hello! I feel really sorry about what happened to you. Where are you from? I have something in my mind, that's why I am asking you. I really want to get in touch with you.

Oct 16, 2012
i know
by: malgosia

There is pain, that words can't silence, pill can't fix it. There is pain that will become your companion for the rest of your life. and there is disappointment , because your life stopped, but the rest of the world go on like nothing happen. We are alone in our hell, we are the mothers of addicts . Our kids started as normal happy babes, but somewhere on the way, they become very unhappy, firs they like to drown their sorrows, but they sorrows learn to swim.then came drugs- legal or not. The first high, oh, how happy is life, but this is only minutes, lets try again, but that first high never return, let try more.. it never gets better, oh the pain the anxiety. finely the one the dose witch makes me feel like I'm dying, but I never felt so alive, no pain, is getting dark, help-no one can hear.That way my son wrote in his journals. he is 30 forever. His pain is now in my heart and body. My pain is not so much about loosing him like about him missing on beauty of live, never been married, never have a child, boy, he loves kids so much. He got many dreams and plans, he was working so hard to recover, was clean for16 months, one bad depressing day, and idiot doctor with her magic pouch of Valium and sleeping pills, and that was the end of plans and hopes for my little boy, and that was when hell started for me 3 and1/2 months ago. Keep Brett memory fresh, pray to god to take his soul and keep it safe and free from pain, and God be with you on your journey to your boy.

Oct 15, 2012
I feel your pain it is not real
by: Betty

I am so sorry about your loss I pray both of us can get through this nightmare.I watched my son die a slow death I hope it was like the doctors said he was in no pain but 2 months in a hospital and we had hopes that maybe he would come home.I will pray for loss and torment we ust go through .

Oct 11, 2012
My son Brett was found dead in a hotel
by: Doreen U.K.

I am so sorry for your loss of both your sons in tragic deaths. Try and get grief counselling support. This is usually important when one loses a child, and also through suicide. This will be the worst experience of your life and you will feel as if this pain is going to last forever. I lost my nephew 30yrs. 5 years ago to SUICIDE. My sister needed a grief counsellor to come to her home to support her. She would never have recovered. Her son chose a very destructive way to die by throwing himself in front of an express train. There was no body to bury. A closed Casket, and a broken mother weeping for her lost son. It broke all our hearts over the loss and to see our sister go through this pain and loss. 5 years on she is coping but she still has some bad days. The pain will come in waves and the scar will remain FOREVER. the inquest threw up worse recording of the death that she could share with no one. This also affects her grief. I have 3 Adult children and could not bear to lose any one of them. I lost my husband of 44yrs. marriage 5 months ago from cancer. This is the worst experience of my life. I am finding life so very difficult. LONLINESS is like a Cancer without Pain relief. THERE IS NONE FOR THIS PAIN.
To lose an Adult child is especially hard on a parent as we don't expect our children to die before us. Life feels so SURREAL to me still. I feel more vulnerable now to LOSS. WE live in a drug culture where it takes over a Life for whatever reason and the person is hooked and cannot come off this. Life IS HARD. Many youngsters are becoming misguided by drugs that it will block out the pain of where they are. It takes over a life and the parents struggle with the family becoming fractured as a result. It is also a very HIGH RISK. I was SAVED, By being in Church and trying to Live a Spiritual Life. Jesus is the Answer. I won't get through my Grief without HIM. I hope that you have loving supportive family and friends to support you at this time, as it helps. Invite God into your Life if you don't already know Him. HE IS THE COMFORTER.

Oct 11, 2012
SO Sorry
by: judith in California

What happened to you is a parents worst nightmare. It's bad enough to loose a child to death from an illness or accident but for them to die at their own hand is the worst. I live in fear it will happen to me at some point as my son is the same way but with no drugs other than pot, that I know. He has cut off all forms of communication with me.

There's not much I can offer in other than most heartfelt sympathy and a prayer that God will give you the strength to see this through to the peaceful and acceptance side knowing his tormented soul is with the Lord.

Oct 11, 2012
So Sad
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for the loss of your two sons.

I am reminded of the famous poem by John Donne (No Man is an Island). It would be so easy to be judgemental and look past Brett's life and only see the negative things. But as John Donne reminds us, "Each man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind".

I have no children of my own so I cannot begin to understand the pain your are experiencing. I recently lost my loving partner of 20 years and have some knowledge of the pain and heartache that such grief brings.

I also know that sharing such pain does little make it any easier, but I hope the knowledge that your message has touched my heart will bring you some small comfort. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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