My Son Casey
It's just after midnight. I find it hard to go to bed at night because I think a lot then. Instead, I watch T.V., play computer games, read, or do puzzles.
Casey was my first born. It would be his 26th birthday on September 19th. He was killed in a motorcycle accident just two months before his 24th birthday (tomorrow). He had just started a new job a couple of weeks before the accident. He had gone out and bought new shirts and pants for the office. I hemmed the pants for him. I don't think he even got to wear everything he bought. It feels like it's only been 2 weeks, not 2 years. I miss him so much!! I believe he's still with us in so many ways, but it's just not enough.
Casey and his younger sister had become very close a few years before the accident. They had gotten past the sibling rivalry and I was so proud that they were always there for each other, including each other in their get togethers with friends. That makes me feel badly for my daughter's loss.
Casey and his dad had finally worked through their differences and learned to enjoy each others company. Every Sunday Casey would come here in the afternoon and the two of them would sit in the carport (if the weather was nice) and have a beer, or his dad would help him with his car. He'd stay for supper before going to his apartment or to see friends. His dad really misses him.
Every time I hear a motorcycle that sounds like his, I can't help but wish it was Casey coming home. He never missed being with us for holidays or birthdays, or any special occasion, so it will be very hard not to have him here on his birthday again. We plan to go out and have a toast to him. Normally I would make his favourite food (schnitzel), but my daughter has to work into the evening. All three of us say it hurts so much because we loved him so much, and wouldn't give up our closeness for it not to hurt the way it does.
We picked three songs that meant something special to us for Casey's funeral and I get some comfort from them when I hear them on the radio. Casey like the song "We're Here For a Good Time" and we picked "Forever Young" and "One More Day". We hear "We're Here For a Good Time" a lot. I believe Casey's trying to cheer us up.
His birth was one of the happiest days of my life, but I can't say, "Happy Birthday," to him any more.