My son died because of Vicodin given to him by a dr when he was a teen.

by Sandra Chavez
(Elk Grove, CA)

My son Jeffrey who was the most beautiful boy ended up on the street of San Francisco with sepsis due to IV drug use. We turned our backs on him because he went right back to IV drug use after the drs told him you have Endocarditis and if you use IV drugs you will develope sepsis and die from it. We tried to get him to stop using drugs by taking him to treatment. He went in and out of treatment for 5 years. This all started because he had a broken jaw and vicodin was given for the pain. It had to be crushed due to his jaw was wired shut. I could not save him from himself. My husband and his brother and sister and I loved him so much and we hurt so bad. Im a mess and I am going to get grief counciling but I dont want this to keep happening to naive people like me and my family. LOCK UP AND MONITOR YOUR LOVED ONES ACCESS TO PAIN MEDS because your perscription drugs can end up into your kids and then you will get to be in a club you dont ever wish on your worst enemy! Five years of hell and he's dead. I didn't return his last call because I was just starting to get out of my severe depression and didn't want to go back. I felt like killing my self when I couldn't help him and I thought about it everyday. I told everyone and I got help so I didn't do it. I knew I would hurt my family so I told them you better get me some help and it helped me. But now he's dead and I hurt so much and my husband walks around saying to himself I should have went and got him from San Francisco and he blames himself. He was a really good dad and it wasn't his fault and we both deserved to have a good life but our son had been slipping away from us and we kept trying until he drained our finances and made us sad all the time. He stole what ever he could take and then he wasn't to be trusted. I know he's in a better place but I just wanted to hear his voice one more time. We spent 10 days in ICU with him and he was in an induced coma and we begged him to find the strength to pull through and he just was gone.

Comments for My son died because of Vicodin given to him by a dr when he was a teen.

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Jun 04, 2014
Remembering Jeff
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry mrs Chavez for everything that happened with Jeff. I want you to know He was a really good guy and he was well loved by a lot of people in Elk Grove/Laguna even after his life went astray..I remember having conversations (before he got into drugs)with Jeff about random things on late nights at parties and I always respected and valued his opinion because he was REAL. That's one thing that's getting hard to find these days is people who are REAL in life. I remember one time when I was 18 on lunch break, at my first big boy job, and just happened to see Jeff on his lunch break at his first job when he was checking water meters. We both had a good laugh that we were growing up and making money and happened to see each other. Such a small, unimportant thing, but something ill never forget. He was extremely talented. I used to go out and skateboard with mutual friends of ours and Jeff would tag along and do his "artwork" while we skated different street spots around town. Some of the stuff I seen him paint in a matter of minutes I will never forget. The dude was amazing!!!Please don't blame yourself for anything that has happened,life is very very weird how things occur And take place and it seems like the worst things fall on the best people. God works in very mysterious ways. Jeff whether he meant to or not, taught a lot of people good things in life. I went through a rough patch myself with alcohol issues a few years ago and luckily overcame it and I wished Jeff could of done the same and shook his problems.. Please share your story with more and more people and be an Advocate against drugs/alcohol because it truly changes people from what they really are.I have other friends and people in my family who were just recently in the same position as Jeff and luckily were thrown in prison so they had no choice but to sober up and get their head straight.. Try and be happy and remember Jeff for everything he was before he got screwed up in this substance abusing society we live in today.. Jeff always has And always will be a good man in my heart and many others. He might be gone but he will NEVER be forgotten to those of us that truly appreciated his presence...Veni Vidi Vici ....Much Love to the Chavez Family!!! R.I.P. Jeff CHavez


- Jacob C.

Nov 04, 2012
Sandra, you are not alone. You are in my prayers
by: Robin Ramirez

My daughter Eryn was Friends with your Jeff, she visited your home and Jeff visited mine. I never met your or husband, but my Eryn tells me how wonderful you both are and what wonderful parents you are..When I learned of Jeff departure I awoke early and found myself drawn to my lap top.. The below is for Jeff, for you and for your Beautiful family..Sincerely, Robin Ramirez

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He is tagging the skies of heaven, pain removed and finally living a full and happy life. He dined with Albert Einstein last night and painted with Picasso this morning..

He looks down to those below and whispers “don’t cry for me. For I am finally home “
The left behinds are sad and mourning, they don’t understand God, or his plans..

He whispers from above. I loved you and you were an important part of my journey on earth, but I am finally home. I am with my heavenly father. I am happy beyond belief…

Wipe your tears. Be happy for me. My pain is gone and my real life starts now.. I am sorry I made you sad. But I wish you could see me now… My wings are beautiful, colorful and they help me to soar through the sky…. I sit on clouds with past presidents and I dine at the table of our Lord..

If you knew how very happy I was, you would rejoice, you would wipe your tears and honor my memory.. I know I left this world abruptly and we really didn't get to say good bye. But don’t worry, for I am not angry. I know you loved me. I know you cared for me. We were kindred spirits and I am grateful for all of my time with you…

But please believe me when I say. I am happy. I am pain free.. And most of all I am finally Home…

I will wait for you, and one day when you arrive I will show you around. I will hold your hand and fly through the Heavenly skies with you, and then only then will you understand the happiness I feel right now.

The complete Peace I feel every moment of my eternal life..

So farewell for now. Please find peace in knowing that I am home… Yes I am finally Home. May you be blessed all the days of your life and may you seek Gods purpose for your earth journey…

Until then. I love you and I will watch over you from the heavenly skies above…
~~~~~~~

I pray that God gives the strength, courage, and wisdom to all those in mourning, and that they come to realize that our sweet Jeff is finally home, finally free of all of his pain…God bless you Jeff…

With much love, you and your family are in thoughts and prayers. Robin Ramirez Email add Faithr2@hotmai.com

Jun 22, 2012
Thank you, that you care
by: Sandra, Jeff's mom

Thank you for writing your comments because today was a really bad day. I feel angry and I need to vent and I had nightmares last night and we had someone come to our home today who really upset me. I feel more alone in my grief each day. Thanks for making me see tonight through your kindness and inspite of your own pain you wanted to provide some comfort to someone else. Many people just haven't a clue how it feels to lose a child and today a phone call just made me realize until you've lost your child, you haven't a clue. So my sisters and brothers we can only really comfort each other. I hope you all get some much needed sleep. God bless you. Sandra

Jun 21, 2012
My son died because of Vicodin
by: Anonymous

Dear Moms,

My heart goes out to you in your loss and grief. To have to bury our children is a horrific task and the cost to us is the physical and emotional pain for the rest of our lives. My son died at age 30 of his own choice. We now suspect depression controlled him most of his life. Why do we have such clear vision after the fact? Yes, I have been torn with guilt over the years, but I have also come to understand that it is not my fault. We raise our children to the best of our ability. Whether they stray away or not is their choice or a series of bad choices. We are also a product of our own choices too. When our children's choices end in death, it nearly ends our lives too. But there is hope! There can be joy again. Granted, our remaining children and the ones lost, are never far from our thoughts, but we can have peace again. It does not come from within. We are a hopeless lot without the presence of the One who both created us and redeemed us. He loves us like no other. He loves our children more than we ever could. He helped me write my story through His eyes.
Blessings, GT

Jun 20, 2012
The death of my son Jeffrey
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Sandra
I am sorry for the loss of your son Jeffrey. Oh! how we ache for our children and try to set them on a good path but it all goes wrong by the CHOICES they make. Our children are open to peer pressure and an environment that drags them away from what is good and taught to them at mothers knee. Oh how our hearts bleed for our wayward children our prodigals that we can do nothing about but grieve and grieve and hope that they change and come to their senses.
I am sad for you Sandra. I have a wayward son. A prodigal. He came back and I lost him again on the day of the funeral when I buried my husband of 44yrs. marriage from cancer.
If your son was stealing from you and causing mayhem in the home you have the right to let him go. That is all we can do as parents. Sometimes we get it wrong. This is human nature.
We cannot re-parent our adult children. We cannot take responsibility for them forever. I did this and I am badly emotionally injured as a result. We at some point have to let our children go and they have to take the consequences for their actions. It is unreasonable to protect them forever. We have boundaries. I carried my son's pain because I didn't want him to committ suicide. In the end he abandoned me on the day I buried his father.
My sister lost her son to suicide 5 years ago. Peter was 30yrs. old and he was on prescription medication that the side effects cause suicidal tendencies. Peter would go up to high buildings and want to throw himself down and he would shout out. "Someone please help me" but because of a failing health care system here in England Peter did not get the help he needed and so he threw himself in front of an express train. There was no body to bury. My sister was mad with grief and so she needed the help of a bereavement counsellor and she is a different person now. She won't ever forget. She is a great support to other people facing grief over a death to suicide/medication. You are wise to seek the support of a counsellor. It is part of the grief to blame oneself for the things we could or should have done but this will have to be overcome. My sister felt the same way. She wished she had taken her adult son back into the home and looked after him. This is what he wanted but because Peter was disrespectful to his stepfather. Paul had to leave his own home to accommodate Peter. Peter then left angry and committed suicide. Leaving a lot of guilt with everyone. Life is full of REGRETS. But we cannot keep punishing ourselves over our REGRETS and the Guilt. Counselling will help you here.
Best wishes.

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