My Son & Friend Jerry Foster , 8/7/1974 - 9/20/2010

by Pat Foster
(Florida)

RIP Coach Jerry your PopWarner Mitey Mite Team

RIP Coach Jerry your PopWarner Mitey Mite Team

My son took his life.I have never felt such pain & emptiness before. It's been 51 days since he left us & it still feels like yesterday, I found a poem & would like to share it. This says it all.

DON'T TELL ME
Please don't tell me you know how I feel, unless you have lost a child too.
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal, that is not true.
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place, though it's true, I want him here with me.
Please don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice or see his face, beyond today I can not see.
Please don't tell me it's time to move on, because I can not.
Please don't tell me to face the fact he is gone, because denial is something I can't stop.
Please don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had, because I wanted more.
Please don't tell me when I'm my old self again you will be glad, I'll never be as I was before.

What you can tell me is you will be here for me.
That you will listen when I talk of my child.
You can share with me my precious memories,you can even cry with me for a while. And please don't hesitate to say his name, because it is something I long to hear everyday.
Friend please realize that I can never be the same. But if you stand by me,you may like the new person I become someday.

Comments for My Son & Friend Jerry Foster , 8/7/1974 - 9/20/2010

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Feb 14, 2011
Your Son Jerry Foster 8/7/1974-9/20/2010
by: Brenda Richison

That poem hit right at my heart, for I lost a 26 yr. old son on July 8, 2005 to suicide. It will be 7 yrs. this year and it seems like only yesterday. It seems no one remembers him and only speaks of him when I introduce myself as his Mom. For 6 1/2 yrs. I tried to kill myself, medicated myself with street drugs-I have yet to kick, sat day after day, crying, at his graveside, and worse- I don't dream about him anymore. Finally I found this website and realized I wasn't crazy. There were other people feeling like I did. With all your help, my psychiatrist, group counseling,and the right medications, I am able to "cope daily" with my sons death. And like the poem says," We'll never be the same person again." But we'll always be "Mom."

Feb 02, 2011
My condolences
by: Eunice

I can't tell you how it feels to lose a child, you're right there. But when a loved one takes their own life, it leaves the survivors with a lot of unsettling questions, that I do know what it feels like, my mom took her life in 88. Along with the shock and denial, comes anger and wanting to know the answer to why. I know that some people just shut themselves down when stress gets so bad, some suffer from mental illness prior, and others do it because of a break up from a girlfriend or boyfriend as was the case of 3 of my cousins. It's not easy to bounce back from any loss. I just recently lost my husband that I love still very much. People need to grieve in their own way and in their own time. Don't let anyone try to tell you it's time to get over it and go on with your life, I can only imagine how much of a struggle it will be for you. My prayers go out to you.

Nov 27, 2010
A POEM SO TRUE
by: Anonymous

THAT SAYS IT ALL I LOST MY DAUGTHER 26 TO CANCER IT HASENT BEEN A YEAR YET AND IM TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THOSE THINGS.. WHAT DOZE MOVE ON MEAN? FORGE ABOUT OUR CHILD WELL WHAT I TELL THEM IS I HOPE IT NEVER HAPPENS TO THEM GOD BLESS !!

Nov 27, 2010
A POEM SO TRUE
by: Anonymous

THAT SAYS IT ALL I LOST MY DAUGHTER 26 TO CANCER IT HASENT BEEN A YEAR YET AND I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THOSE THINGS. WHAT DOZE MOVE ON MEAN? FORGET ABOUT OUR CHILD? WELL WHAT I TELL THEM IS I HOPE IT NEVER HAPPENS TO THEM GOD BLESS !!

Nov 18, 2010
my prayers are with you
by: Anonymous

what a beautiful poem. I lost my Mother this July and I feel a pain that no one understands. God be with you and I pray peace for you.

Nov 15, 2010
healing
by: kay

Pat
I just wanted you to know I love that poem it certainly covers the way we feel about losing our children. I too lost my son In May 2010 he was 23. I will never be the same person. I, like you am so empty and lost. I am deeply sorry for your loss. just know you are not alone. I am thinking of you and sending my love and healing. xxx

Nov 14, 2010
I know how you feel
by: Shirley

I want to thank you for that beautiful poem that speaks volumes about how a parent feels when losing a child.

My sweet son died 8/9/10 and now I spend time with him at his grave instead of sitting with him watching sports, having him eat my meals, having him at our family gatherings. He was only 23 years old.

People get so uncomfortable when I talk about him. Each day is agony when I think about everything I will miss doing with him. It hurts to know I'll never see him get married, have children of his own.

Leukemia took his life. I hate cancer. I hate the fact that he was the one to die when I would have willingly taken his place. I just don't understand this and I don't think I ever will.
Hugs to you and thank you for sharing that poem.
Shirley

Nov 10, 2010
I won't
by: Mom

I wont tell you how to feel.

I won't tell you that after a certain period of time it will subside.

I will not tell you that he is out of the internal pain and that he has his answers now.

I can only tell you that I can only try to understand your pain and be there to listen. I did not have to deal with the hell of having a child that I loved more than anything die.

Here is hoping that you have an ear to vent some of that pain to who is patient and knows enough that nothing, nothing they can say will make it better; but will listen all the same, on this day and those that follow.

My best to you.

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