My son Mark, gone forever on Memorial Day 2010
(Vernon, Texas, US)
I awoke to the sounds of my husband screaming, "OH NO, DIANE WAKE UP...He's NOT BREATHING, MARK IS NOT BREATHING!!!" I will never forget waking up, but still thinking I was dreaming...I remember looking at the clock and it was 9:04 on a Monday Morning, May 31, 2010..."NO, I screamed...He just told me he loved me right before I went to bed. He was happy and smiling. I went his bedroom, and when I saw him laying there lifeless, I just went int hysterics. My husband had called an ambulance, but it seemed to take forever, In the meantime, I checked for a pulse...there was none. He had aspirated, so Mouth to mouth was not an option, as I had learned the in a recent first aid class not to give resue breathe to an aspirating victim. I tried the CPR thrusts to the heart...still no pulse after 2 minutes. I hovered over him until the ambulance arrived and the paramedics told me it was an apparent overdose. I watched as they pronounced him dead, put a sheet over him and carried him out in a Gurney. The whole thing seemed surreal,a nd I just kept dsaying, "no, no, no and...why, why, why" Word cannot describe what the next few weeks were like....I was totally numb...could not stop crying and I still cry a lot over 2 years later. I suppose I always will. I just miss him SO much. He was my heart and soul and kept me laughing with his sense of humor. We were so very close. All I can say to anyone visiting this website under similar circumstances is that if you have suffered the loss of your child...your lfe will go on, but it will never be the same...ever. Focus on the people you do have and that helps, but don't expect to ever have a time in your life that you don't continue to feel a deep aching heart over the loss of your child.