My Son Matthew
Matthew was our second child. He was a typical second child, giving and sharing, and quiet. He was a good kid and was excellent in school. He graduated from Pitt Law School and was accepted into the Maryland bar. Matt was on his way to make a difference in the world, especially with environmental law. He would of helped a lot of people.
Matthew died of a bursted aneurysm in his brain. No indication was given that he was in trouble. We are fortunate that he was with all his friends and he was not alone when it struck. We had to travel 2 hours to get to him and say our goodbyes.
We never heard his voice again after he left us for the weekend with friends. We do remember that he was packing his car and he stopped to help me unload the groceries from the car.
Now that he is gone and we are going through his things we have found several empty bottles of pain relievers. So he was having symptoms but being young and invincible he probably did not think to mention that he was in pain.
The anger in me, I know will pass. Why did he not say he was having headaches that won't go away? Why did he not tell me something is not right? Those questions are the ones that go through my mind more. Of course, if I would of told him to go to the doctor, he probably would of put it off.
I loved my son, and I am now having a hard time showing my husband the grief. He is not attentive to my needs, but I think he is trying to take care of his. So I grieve alone at this time. I can only hope we reconnect.
We do have two other children and two grandchildren and I can hope that they understand what we are feeling. We told them both we are not forgetting about them but we need to take care of us and the sadness. We love them dearly. We do ask them how they are doing and feeling, but neither one will really express it to us. I hope we are doing right by them.
Thanks for the outlet to say this. I cannot express this to anyone else.