My Son Matthew

by Ronnie
(South Carolina)

It has been has been a little over nine months since our amazing 29 year old son Matthew was shot and killed. Matthew was an off duty police officer. The hole in my heart and the pain in my soul is overwhelming. He was my best friend. I miss his love for life. his laughter, and hearing him say "I love you Dad" on a daily basis.

He was the man I wanted to be. Now all the dreams we had are gone. I try to be strong for my wonderful wife and know the pain and torment she is experiencing. She spoke with Matthew on the phone ten minutes before he was killed. I heard them exchange the normal "I love you and I love you too Mom.. see you in the morning. Trying so hard to deal with the pain and emptiness. People don't understand the pain inside unless they have experienced it like we all have.

I take two steps forward and then it seems I'm back to the very beginning of the night this all happened. How and why this could have happened is soo painful, at times I can't hardly breathe. It's a living nightmare. Why, why, why. Dealing with the justice system is beyond belief but we are trying to honor Matthew do what he would want us to do. God how I miss you Son............Dad