My Son "The Champ"
My son just left his home he shared with his wife and 2 children and went to work. Know one was worried or expected the news that we received. A horrible work accident, two killed, one was my son.
I can't explain how I feel, my throat chest and stomach are in actual physical pain, yet my chest fills totally empty. Right now it's to soon, but I know from the far to many I know that have had to bury their child, I will go through many phases over the loss of my son.
It has only been 2 weeks 5 days, many times I think I'm in denial. One second I am seeing my son as a little boy then as very young man when my sons decided the song "Brotherly Love" was their song.
The next I see him as a husband & father as I look at the pictures that he has posted on facebook saying, dad wins again fishing or a picture of my son's young teenage son & daughter where he titles the picture, my amazing kids.
Its unbearable as I realize things he looked forward to and knowing him, his children, his wife, brothers, & friends will miss out on so many some days.
I keep seeing years down the road, his son getting his driving license & graduating from high school. His daughter driving, killing her first buck, but most of all walking down the aisle without her daddy at her side. She's just a child but they already had their daddy/daughter dance picked out "I loved you first." I see Robert taking his first grandson hunting or fishing & bragging on his beautiful granddaughter.
I keep looking in the future and I see his beautiful wife that he adored & was so proud of for half of his 40 years. I know that she is a young woman and will & needs to someday move on. But the thought of my sons wife married to another man is almost unbearable.
My greatest pain isn't for myself, or his wife, children, or even my sons that is hurting so bad over their loss. It's for the joys my son was so unfairly taken away from and will miss. He loved taking his kids fishing, tubing, hunting, watching his daughter at cheerleading, cooking his wife a special dinner, BBQ's, all the phone calls & text to his brothers with every race & ball game. He was so full of life, it just isn't fair or right he was taken from all he loved & that loved him.
For ones that did not know my son well, he came across as a tough badass & many times arrogant. But for the family and friends that knew and loved him, they all knew he was the one that would always be the first there when needed and NO one ever loved their entire family and friends more then him. To us he was the Champ...he killed the most deer, caught the most fish, could build anything, cooked the best BBQ, and was our family genius. Like his 1st grade teacher said many years ago "what a brain, you have a little genius on your hands", The test proved her right.