My Son "The Champ"

My son just left his home he shared with his wife and 2 children and went to work. Know one was worried or expected the news that we received. A horrible work accident, two killed, one was my son.

I can't explain how I feel, my throat chest and stomach are in actual physical pain, yet my chest fills totally empty. Right now it's to soon, but I know from the far to many I know that have had to bury their child, I will go through many phases over the loss of my son.
It has only been 2 weeks 5 days, many times I think I'm in denial. One second I am seeing my son as a little boy then as very young man when my sons decided the song "Brotherly Love" was their song.
The next I see him as a husband & father as I look at the pictures that he has posted on facebook saying, dad wins again fishing or a picture of my son's young teenage son & daughter where he titles the picture, my amazing kids.
Its unbearable as I realize things he looked forward to and knowing him, his children, his wife, brothers, & friends will miss out on so many some days.
I keep seeing years down the road, his son getting his driving license & graduating from high school. His daughter driving, killing her first buck, but most of all walking down the aisle without her daddy at her side. She's just a child but they already had their daddy/daughter dance picked out "I loved you first." I see Robert taking his first grandson hunting or fishing & bragging on his beautiful granddaughter.
I keep looking in the future and I see his beautiful wife that he adored & was so proud of for half of his 40 years. I know that she is a young woman and will & needs to someday move on. But the thought of my sons wife married to another man is almost unbearable.

My greatest pain isn't for myself, or his wife, children, or even my sons that is hurting so bad over their loss. It's for the joys my son was so unfairly taken away from and will miss. He loved taking his kids fishing, tubing, hunting, watching his daughter at cheerleading, cooking his wife a special dinner, BBQ's, all the phone calls & text to his brothers with every race & ball game. He was so full of life, it just isn't fair or right he was taken from all he loved & that loved him.
For ones that did not know my son well, he came across as a tough badass & many times arrogant. But for the family and friends that knew and loved him, they all knew he was the one that would always be the first there when needed and NO one ever loved their entire family and friends more then him. To us he was the Champ...he killed the most deer, caught the most fish, could build anything, cooked the best BBQ, and was our family genius. Like his 1st grade teacher said many years ago "what a brain, you have a little genius on your hands", The test proved her right.

Comments for My Son "The Champ"

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Jun 26, 2013
Your story is the 1st .....
by: Jane. Travis's mom

Hello Dear Mom,
Your story is the 1st story I've placed a comment on. It's been hard enough to write about my own son I lost on May 26th just a Lil over 4 weeks ago. I know exactly how you feel. I can validate every ounce of pain your having. I too struggle with the unfairness of how my son was taken so quickly and he wanted to live, Travis wants to be here. He was so full of life as well. I cried while reading your story because even though my son was 22 (was goin to turn 23 in August) and he wasn't married or had any children, he loved hunting, fishing, bbqing, infact he got into entering BBQ cook offs in the local area and he won many trophies and medals for his delicious, melt in your mouth ribs and brisket. I truly believe the world has lost another 2 wonderful assets and I know my son would've likely turned out to be alot like you have described your son and his life. Your grand children carry him inside them just like you carry him with you and that's something this cruel old world can never ever take away. I am still very angry at everything and I still say " God you can have me, just let Travis come back " I am sure it sounds a bit unrealistic for me to be making such a request but I can't help it. You sound like you have alot more strength in you than you know and that's something we as mothers hope we never will have to dig deep within and try to find, but we do have it and trust me I dig within everyday and somehow I bring that strength to the surface and it is what gets me thru each and every day. I have already bought some books and I've been reading alot about heaven and death and God, trying to restore my faith, so far not much has changed but I have a 17 year old son I need to be here for and sometimes he has to sorta remind me of that when I get so deep in thought with Travis passing away or when I make the remark of god taking me and letting Travis come back. It's then that I realize I still have a purpose here. My son did too but it was cut so very short. I can only hope 1 day the many questions we have had will be answered, and until then we just have to roll with the punches and just live in the moment. That's all I can do, if I fast forward even 5 mins I become overwhelmed and anxious and start to withdraw from everything and everyone. Minute by minute is my motto. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, even though my faith has been tested and pushed beyond all boundaries I still pray, it costs nothing and it allows me to vent and cry, if God is on the other end of my prayers I hope that maybe I will start to feel comforted and that some sort of peace will come my way. I wish the exact same for you and will pray for you along with everyone else. Just know your not going thru this alone, and others are thinking of you and that's what helps me cope and survive each passing day.

Thinking of you and your family and wishing all of you peace and happiness to return to your lives,
Jane Travis's Mom

May 26, 2013
How do you go on
by: Anonymous

It's only been a month since my son died. It gets worse everyday, not better. I see people close to him going on with life. I know they still have there very hard times, but when they laugh, joke, and are truly enjoying something like I know they should...I feel like just smacking them.
I walk into a store that I recently had seen him there and it's all I can do to stay there. I can't go in a café, for fear of starting to cry if someone ask about him. I'm going to drive out of town to get a hair cut cause there know one will say anything.
I fill as if everyone is already forgetting him, except his brothers and yet I know they are not. It's like I don't want anyone to be happy, my son is dead...there is nothing to be happy about.
I see horrible things on the news and it's like oh well my son's gone and none of them were any more important then him.
Is this normal and will it pass soon? I am not happy with some of my feelings but it is the way I feel.

May 15, 2013
Your Son "The Champ"
by: Elisa

Dear Mother of "The Champ" your dear son,

I am so sorry about the shocking way your young son died and left his wife and kids behind, and you, his Mom, to bury your child is very heart-breaking (for lack of a word, no words can describe your pain). I feel it, I understand it all, and I know there are millions of things that go through your head and that hurt your heart every second of every day and night.

I lost my husband of 44 years (knew him 46); he had no warnings, but was diagnosed with pancreatic/liver cancer suddenly, and we prayed for a miracle because nothing can cure or even stop that type of cancer. The miracle didn't come; and I am forever in pain, crying, depressed and missing him so much that I wish I'd just go too.

I pray for all of us, and believe me, I too do not understand this b.s. that "it was his time, etc." I am angry too that I lost my husband, we had plans, and he didn't want to leave me, but he lost his touch, valiant, difficult battle to that lousy disease that they haven't got a real clue as to how to detect it early enough, or how to fix it. I hate life. I'm bitter, but I hope I see him again, sooner than later. I don't care to live on and on into my 80's like we had planned. It would have been fine for both of us together, but I want to get out of here and be with him, my parents and everyone who has died and gone to Heaven. God help us all. Love to all, Elisa

May 13, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

I'm truly sorry you know this loss. I lost my 39 yr old son 6 months ago and I don't know how I have made it this far. I
Hurt everyday. I am attending grief meetings. The pain is deep.
Take one day at a time.

May 13, 2013
Add on to my post
by: Mom

There must of been many more that saw Robert as a good fun guy, the friends and family that came to his services was unreal. The total was said to be over 600 plus fellow workers from out of the area standing in the parking lot. There was close friends he had from childhood through adult and so many cousins he was extremely close to and other family that he loved that came from miles away.
As the pallbearers (8 family & friends, including his 15 year old son) changed into Robert's teams jersey before they left the church and carried him to his final resting place...they all said with a smile, this is for you Rob...NO one else could ever get us in a Raiders Jersey.
I try so hard not to become a bitter woman filled with hate. As everyone is feeling sorry for his dad who is filled with guilt and pain. I tell my grandchildren to give him a chance, that he is hurt and realizes now how wrong he was. But I feel nothing but pure hate for the hurt he has caused my son over & over again. I find myself hating people standing out begging for handouts, when my son died going to work to support himself and his family. I find myself yelling at my husband when he is a believer of gods will...NO he did not need my son more then any of us, especially his children during the rough times of a teen and NO he would never be happier anywhere then he would be with his family. When my brothers were killed 44 years ago in a accident, my Mother took the hate and bitterness to her grave 40 years later. I just lost my son, I now understand now how she could carry it for so many years, but I will try not to become a bitter person.

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