My son Tyler E. Snoke 5/1/1993 to 1/18/2012

by Dana Snoke
(Santee, CA)

Somehow I have no idea of where to begin, or how to explain the pain and the loss of my only son Tyler. I cry each and everyday since his death. There are no good days anymore, just so,so days that seem to run together. Week by week passes and I still feel the same the day he died. People just do not seem to understand the loss of an adult child. They look at you and tell you that everything will be fine, but you need to get on with your life. How do I do that? I have found that as time goes on somethings seem to get back to a somewhat level of normal. Still I have this overwhelming greif that comes out of nowhere and I break down sobbing. Thses are my so,so days. My work has suffered somewhat, but I'm trying to find my way again with all that has happened. This will take time I know. Thank god I only have three years left until I retire. I know I was not ready to say good bye to him when he left to be with God. I'm thankful that he died in his sleep, where there was no pain to his death. Still no parent sould have to perform CPR on their child, only to find out at the hospital that he did not make it, as the ER doctor put it to me. My world as I knew it stopped right there with those simple words. I have been trying to get back to doing normal things but, when I see young people out and about in town. I stop and think of my son and wonder what he would be doing right now. I think this will be with me and my wife for the rest of our lives. The deep feelings of grief over an adult child that should still be here and doing things with their life. All that I can tell you is that you can talk about the person that was everything to you and you keep your chin up talking about this adult child of yours but, when you are alone you cry each and everyday and wonder when you will see each other again.

Comments for My son Tyler E. Snoke 5/1/1993 to 1/18/2012

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Oct 09, 2012
Father of Tyler
by: Jean

I pray that by now the sting of yor son's sudden death has lessened somewhat but having lost my own son I know that is not possible. If we know there is a life after death we know he is with the Lord and we will meet our sons again in His home of many mansions. May God bless the family and friends of that dear one and find peace that passes ALL nderstanding.

Oct 07, 2012
My son Tyler E. Snoke 5/1/1993 to 1/18/2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Dana I am sorry for your loss of your only son Tyler. It doesn't matter how much you cry there will be more tears until it gets less. This means you are GRIEVING in a healthy way for the loss of your son. ONE day the tears will stop. But this will not mean that you don't care. It means HEALING is taking place. You will be left with the scars forever. Losing an Adult Child is the worst a person can go through. You may benefit from seeing a grief counsellor who will be able to support you in pain. They cushion the pain so that it is more manageable. Every day you will feel fractured over the loss of your son. It hurts when you see others going about daily life while you can't. You are broken forever. You will wonder how your son's life will have turned out and feel angry also that he didn't get the chance to live his life.
I lost my husband to cancer 5 months ago. I tread this valley of grief also. Every day in pain just seems to be the same. Nothing changes.
If I didn't have my FAITH in God I wouldn't be able to hang on. Pain crushes our SOUL. Only God has the OINTMENT that HEALS. Sadly HEALING is SLOW.

Oct 07, 2012
it is well
by: Seun

Dear Santee, I know exactly how you feel as am experiencing the same grief like yours, I just wonder when I see people smile I just wonder if there is anything worth smiling at in this word after I lost my first son at age 17 in july this year. I just want you to take comfort in the fact that your son is fine in the kingdom of God and that you shall surely see him again.May the Lord comfort all parent all over the world that has lost a child it is a terrible experience

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