My son Tyler E. Snoke 5/1/1993 to 1/18/2012
by Dana Snoke
Somehow I have no idea of where to begin, or how to explain the pain and the loss of my only son Tyler. I cry each and everyday since his death. There are no good days anymore, just so,so days that seem to run together. Week by week passes and I still feel the same the day he died. People just do not seem to understand the loss of an adult child. They look at you and tell you that everything will be fine, but you need to get on with your life. How do I do that? I have found that as time goes on somethings seem to get back to a somewhat level of normal. Still I have this overwhelming greif that comes out of nowhere and I break down sobbing. Thses are my so,so days. My work has suffered somewhat, but I'm trying to find my way again with all that has happened. This will take time I know. Thank god I only have three years left until I retire. I know I was not ready to say good bye to him when he left to be with God. I'm thankful that he died in his sleep, where there was no pain to his death. Still no parent sould have to perform CPR on their child, only to find out at the hospital that he did not make it, as the ER doctor put it to me. My world as I knew it stopped right there with those simple words. I have been trying to get back to doing normal things but, when I see young people out and about in town. I stop and think of my son and wonder what he would be doing right now. I think this will be with me and my wife for the rest of our lives. The deep feelings of grief over an adult child that should still be here and doing things with their life. All that I can tell you is that you can talk about the person that was everything to you and you keep your chin up talking about this adult child of yours but, when you are alone you cry each and everyday and wonder when you will see each other again.