My Son

by Suzanne Kleczar
(Kioloa NSW Australia)

My son and me

My son and me

I write poems since the loss of my son, it helps me express my pain, but I don't think it helps me move forward. Anyway here is my latest poem.

Time is moving forward
But the pain remains the same
Eight months have passed now
And nothing seems to change.

You were taken so suddenly
I could never be prepared
For the pain that I would feel
For the deep and dark despair.

A dark cloud descended
Over my world that day
For the loss of my child
There are no words I can say.

I long to see your face
To see you walk into the room
I long to hear your voice
Saying Mum I love you too

I know this will never be
I know this for a fact
But that doesn’t stop the longing
The longing to have you back

I can’t deal with the pain inside
I feel emotionally shutdown
From the pain that I try to hide.
The pain that’s so deep down.

I have asked myself many times
Will it always hurt this way?
Will the pain ever subside?
Will it ever go away?

They say time heals all wounds
I really don’t think that is true
I just have to learn to live
With the pain of losing you.

So on this sad day my son
I want to say to you
How very much I love you
And miss you so much too

Comments for My Son

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Nov 12, 2014
tears
by: Anonymous

my dear son died 2 yrs ago ,he had bowel cancer,he died in a hospice he called for me and I went in his room ,just then the nurses came in th turn him I gave him a kiss n went out ,I so wish I asked if I could stay, awhile later they called us to his room ,he passed away ,although I think we were there as he took his last breath i keep going over things , I cant cry ? I feel for others loss but it hurts in my throat ,it wont come out thankyou for hearing me xxx god bless all who are suffering xxx

Nov 08, 2014
My son, Dylan
by: Joanne

I lost my 28 yr old son Dylan on July 21, 2014. I pray for all of us who have lost a child. I Can't believe that I am now grieving and will grieve every day for the rest of my life. Bless you, fathers and mothers.

Oct 20, 2014
My son, my love, my other self?
by: Michelle Brunner

I love this poem. Did you also write the poem with the words listed in the comment of my post? I have been searching for this poem for sometime. I truly wish I knew the title. I can relate to your writing, its like you feel my acute pain as well. 26 years later and it has not been any easier. I miss him as if it was yesterday that he was lost. My heart and soul ache daily.

Oct 16, 2014
lost my 21yr old son 10-3-14
by: Paul

I am also trying to cope with the loss of my son and best friend. I lost him in a car accident 1/2 mile from home.It is hard to get up every day and to move on with normal activities. I know he is in a better place but it does not help. We bought a new house 6 months ago and just finished it to start the enjoyment part (hunting) and then this happens. He touched so many people the time he was here. He always had a smile on his face and never was mad at anyone. I know one thing I am a broken manbe hard or impossible to overcome. and this will

Oct 14, 2014
Mark
by: Anonymous

I wrote a comment here before not long after i lost my lovely son who was 33 yrs old. He will be gone from me 2yrs on the 17th of October. 2 very long years and it does not get any easier and to top it all my husband walked out 1 week ago i just dont know where to turn my heart is broken all over again. I try to put a brave face on to everyone as i have very bad arithris and waiting on a knee replacement i have to use a stick to get around.I talk to Mark to make me strong i miss him so much as he used to help me so much. God bless everyone on this page.

Oct 14, 2014
Steven
by: Mom

It has been 1 year and 2 months since my beautiful son passed away at 30 years old. It doesn't get better. I miss him everyday, every birthday, every holiday, every TV show we watch together and just couldn't miss. I watch his daughter growing into a smart little gal and so much like him. The pain is constant in my heart and soul. People say you are finally back to your old self REALLY .. do people honestly think that you can ever be the same person after such a personal tragedy? Steven I love and miss the person you would have been and the person you were. Luv you always MOM

Oct 11, 2014
I know how you feel it's heart sore to lose a child
by: Rekha

I lost my son in a car accident 6 months ago. He was only 24 year my eldest baby. I know his in a better place looking down upon us. I love him an miss him so much. I cry everyday I pray for him so his soul rest in peace. I love my Amrith.

Sep 23, 2014
my son
by: Anonymous

I lost my son over 14months ago the emptiness I feel hasn't ceased I just had to learn to live with it.I think about my son everyday I miss him like I know we all do here with our losses and side give anything for it to have been a nightmare that I woke up from but it wasn't I still cry for him for some reason this past weeks been really hard I hope he's in a better place and ile one day see him again that day ile have to wait for thoughts are with each person that shares this site it did help me as I didn't feel so alone ile love my son whether he's here or not and big hugs to each of us here .

Sep 22, 2014
I feel your pain
by: Ron C

I feel your pain,your poem is so true I lost my 23 year old Son too. Over a year ago do suddenly, my best friend my everything. I cry everyday, I listen to his voice from videos on my cell. Look at pictures, still wait for him to walk through that door. My world as yours is very dark, I have a wife and 20 year old daughter that I promised my son in a letter a wrote to him that I'd take care of them. So hard to do. He loved life,hunting fishing and being in the woods. He loved music played the guitar and worked as a mechanic here in town. Wouldn't say if he had a mouth full of it. So my friend God be with you as we go on this journey together. I want to be with him and I promised God and him I will be so we can have eternal life together. God bless you and your family.

Sep 14, 2014
my beautiful son
by: Anonymous

it's been 2 years, i cry everyday , i miss my son so much , i love you Paul jr.

Sep 11, 2014
Beautiful
by: Jon

I'm so sorry. I lost my 23 yr. old son,Matthew, to a drug overdose on Oct. 28 2006. No. You will never get over the pain. Never. It has been almost 8 years of counseling and it hasn't helped. They keep telling me that time will ease the pain. Not for me. Since he died I am trying to show people that I am okay but inside I am dying. I hope things will get better for you.

Sep 10, 2014
Seems like Yesterday
by: Debra

I have shared your poem with others going through the same. I lost my son July 4th 2008. I still have no closure as to who/why. He was only 20. So your poem is very comforting to me.

Sep 07, 2014
me too
by: Anonymous

I love this poem, thank u 4 sharing it. I had 2 sons , my oldest son, was murdered in N.C.1994, he was23yrs.old . I lost my youngest son, 2002, from a drug overdose. he was 21yrs. old they were born 10yrs. apart. that's all the children I had. me and my two sisters were in orphanage. my oldest sister, stays sick in bed a lot. my youngest sister is schizophrenic. life has been NO party . Life can sure get depressing. I use to wonder, how anyone could even think of suicide. Well now I know. People need to be careful how they judge others, call people a coward for committing suicide. They may be in that deep dark place we have been, one day. I wouldn,t wish depression, on my most hated enemy. God Bless you will be reunited one day soon


Aug 26, 2014
Lost my son 3-23-14 - Car Accident
by: me

It's been 5 months and 3 days since my son's tragic car accident at the age of 30. He was married with 2 children, one girl (6) and one (boy (3). I just can't get past my grief. Most people have been kind and understanding. Some have said (behind my back) that I just need to get over it. My son was killed less than 2 blocks from his home by a driver who liked to "punk out the old **ses and slam on his brakes". I found this on the other guys facebook page. My son rear ended him, lost control of his car and hit a brick building dying instantly. I am waiting daily for the prosecutor to issue charges and arrest this guy. He was driving on a suspended license, no car insurance, no valid plates, and he fled the scene only to be found one hour later by one eyewitness. He was arrested and spent 2 days in jail before they decided to "cut him loose" in order to build a stronger case against him. I might add he was also on bond for a Breaking and Entering arrest that happened about 6 month prior. We are not talking about a model citizen here that made a mistake. He took my son's life and fled without even checking to see if he was still alive. I think about my son everyday. I am under the care of a doctor, and taking meds. I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel for this nightmare. I am able to work, but barely. I would rather be home but I know that is not the way either. I watch my grandchildren almost every other weekend to help out my DIL and I weep inside that they will not grow up with their Dad in their lives. I try to keep his memory alive in our home. I find things he made as a child and let his children see them and touch them. I have 2 other adult sons who are younger than my son that passed. They are both married and live in other states. One is expecting a baby in January. A bright spot in our lives. But the loss of our son is still hard to take. He would have loved to be an Uncle. I'm grateful for this website so that I can share my story and vent a little. A lot of people that have not gone through this just do not understand.

Aug 25, 2014
Losing My Son.
by: Christina Cantrell

I lost my son August 28,2012 in a tragic automobile accident. That day my whole life changed and it still hasn't been the same. Reading this poem I feel the same exact way and now I know I'm not the only one who has so much pain inside from losing their child. thanks for sharing such heart felt words. May God continue to bless you and be with you in your time of need.

Aug 24, 2014
My son Mark
by: Wendy

It was a simple question,how are your kids? I had to tell them my son passed away. It's been 14 months . It still feels so raw. I too greet each day feeling one step closer to seeing him again. Outside I may seem normal but inside I'm screaming in pain. My children are my life and I feel like my surviving daughter is getting the worst of me. I try to be positive around her but I'm just hanging on. It doesn't get easier.

Aug 22, 2014
Paul
by: Margaret

My only child died almost seven years ago. I hate every day that passes which takes me further from the time when I could see him, talk to him, touch him...and I love every day that takes me closer to that time when I can have him again. Today my family is having a bbq to celebrate the visit of my nephew's visit home from several thousand miles away. I love this nephew with all my heart but I will be thinking 'why couldn't Paul be here, too?' Not instead of but in addition to. Thank you for this forum. I feel love and warmth for every mother here who also suffers.

Aug 21, 2014
The loss of my son
by: Natalie

I to lost my beautiful son jamie he was only 23 an was killed in a terrible accident .that was nearly 3 years ago oct 29 .its his birthday today and i feel sad and upset but he knows how much i love him an miss him .I thought my life had ended when i got the call to tell me .But now nearly 3 years on i knew i could not lay in bed every day crying my son would not want to see me hurting so i gathered my strength and got out my bed .I thought i would never laugh again or smile .But i did .I hold the love i have for my beautiful son in my heart and know every day i live is nearer to being with him again .I know he is always with me in everything i do .I feel all your pain and am so sorry for all your losses .Natalie x

Aug 17, 2014
my son Xavier
by: sheryal barnes

My son, Xavier died in Hospital in London on the 15th July this year. He went in for a routine operation and never came home. I am going to push for the maximum justice for my baby boy he was only five years old and they are not covering up one thing I will stand on top of the tallest building on earth to be heard. His funeral was last friday it was wonderful I planned it as if Xavier himself had planned it. All bright and colourful with balloon release where Xavier put in an appearance in the form of a bright orb. Its on facebook if you would like to see it. There is no pain like loosing a child its agony in its purest form. I will find out who was responsible for my little boys death I was going to leave it as nothing will ever bring Xavier back but now I think so what if somebody looses their job I lost my son and my son lost his life, thank you for reading this, as I know you are all broken too x

Aug 14, 2014
My One, My Only
by: T'Amar

I lost my only child, my son on September 14, 2010 and to say it was hurtful is putting it mildly. My life has changed and will never be the same...no one can ever fill the void or emptiness losing him has had on my life. I have custody of his son, who was 2 when my son died, and even having him, it's still not the same...it's a different kind of love. What made/makes it so hard is my son was a healthy, athletic 25 yr old who just suddenly became ill. The doctors kept saying it was lupus and I kept telling them as a mother knowing my son that wasn't it but because they kept suppressing his immune system they allowed sepsis to come into play and his body had no way of fighting any type infection...I feel as though I failed my son because for one time in his life and mine mommy couldn't fix it. In my mind and in my heart, they killed my son and I will never get past that. I know it's wrong but I pray that those responsible for my son's death will suffer the same type loss they have made me and his son have to endure. Everyday I think of my son and how promising his life was and to never have the chance to help him get his first house or never see him get married was stolen from me. He had gotten his BS in biology and was headed toward his doctorate in physical therapy because he loved people and helping them...he would have never been the kind of doctor as the ones who "failed" to care for him, he had too much care and compassion for human life!!!!! I miss my son terribly but he knew I loved him more than I loved myself and sometimes I even wish that God had taken me and let my son live!!!!

Aug 11, 2014
why do people say 'crossed over'?
by: sandi

We lost our son on 12/18/13 after another argument from his wife, where once again she called him names and attacked everything he was and everything he believed in. Male target of domestic violence. None of it makes sense, we tried so hard, so many times, to help him break free but he loved her. OOOOOOHHHHHhhh the mistakes I must have made raising him, that he could be susceptible to a woman like this. It's in my head, in front of my eyes, every waking moment and in my dreams as I sleep. I just know I failed him as a mom that he could be sucked into accepting being mistreated, and the real *ell is that he is having to pay for me not preparing him for the 'vampires' of this world. DV against men is little publicized. Nothing will ever ever ever ever be -

Aug 09, 2014
my only son
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my only son and my father on the same day. April 2, 2012. Jeremy was 15 just 1 month from his 16th birthday.They were on a fishing trip, my father fell in the river and could not swim, Jeremy jumped in to save him. he helped my daddy get back in boat but went down and never came back up. he had drowned.within 30 mins. my dad had a heart attack and died.. I cry everyday and it don't get any better. I miss him so he would have graduated this summer. I think the only thing that keeps me going is just knowing I will see him again in Heaven and then it will be forever

Jul 30, 2014
I lost my son on July 1, 2014
by: Heart Broken

I lost my only son on 7/1/14 from an overdose. He was 20 years old, just two months shy of his 21st birthday, which he was looking so forward to. Its like my life has frozen in time. I often can't believe it. Its almost like a bad nightmare. The days are moving along but I'm lost in this maze. I miss him terribly. I go to bed crying, wake up crying and cry most of the day. Its hard for me to even look at a picture of him because the memories are too hurtful. I have two other kids. His little sisters and constantly think he won't be there to protect them. I think of all the things he won't be able to do, marriage, have kids, just living young. The pain is unbearable and unconsolable. I have joined a weekly support group for parents who have lost children due to substance abuse. I have also been seeing a grief counselor once a week. But nothing seems to help. I know its fairly fresh but I cannot see any days that I won't feel like this. I've been prescribed medication for anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I literally have no energy to get out of the bed. I haven't been able to work and literally get anxiety thinking about the day I have to go back to work. All I can do is pray everyday. I still ask why, why why my Anthony. I never get the answer to that. So, now when I wake up, I ask for a little more strength than I had the day before and to eventually receive peace and acceptance. God bless all the parents on this blog.

Jul 16, 2014
Sons death
by: Candi

Suzanne, this pain indeed is deep. Thank you for sharing the beautiful poem. We just lost our Benny June 17, 2014 from leukemia. He was 29. Your son looks so much like him. I just want one more hug. I was with him 24/7 for 4 years being his caretaker in Houston. Missing hi so very much!

Jul 12, 2014
james
by: michelle

I feel your pain. I lost my 13yo son june 2013. I remember it like yesterday.i found him in his bed in the am... he had heart failure...with no previous reasons of this before. he had died in his sleep. it is not getting easier like people say...I wish I could see him. you never know when time is up

Jun 15, 2014
We will be mothers even without our child (physically)
by: Noel's mother

I feel you pain. I had lost my firstborn son, too. He was born 3 months short and lived only for two days. Back then, I've been crying all day everyday. When I'm not crying, I'm asleep. When I woke up, I cry again. I had the same questions.. "Will it always hurt this way? Will the pain ever subside? Will it ever go away?". I even asked God why, but eventually, with a lot a prayers, God let me understand and accept the fact. And now, when I pray, I pray to God to reserve a seat in heaven next to my baby. I also did pray to bless us another child. and He did. He's now 18 months old. He was also born premature - 6 weeks short, but we survived with God's guidance.

I pray that your pain will end soon. That God will heal your pain and leave you with only good memories of your child and not the pain.

Jun 14, 2014
My Precious Son
by: Lori

My son Joseph crossed over 10/7/12, it is going on 88 weeks, it was a Sunday afternoon .. I was mopping and remember all of the sudden stopping and looking at my clock on the wall , I believe it was the actual time of impact, He had gotten a day of work, the first in awhile and had bought himself a beautiful HD motorcycle and went for a ride that afternoon and somehow ran off roadway and down an embankment and into a tree.. the only tree in the vicinity.. he was 33, has 2 small children and has been a living *ell since.. the mother of his children hooked up with a creep 4 months later.. they are suffering as I am ..

May 21, 2014
Our Joe Joe Bear lost November 6, 2013
by: Carol

I have been crying uncontrollably after reading all of your post! I lost my son in a roll over accident, he tried not to hit a dead deer on the freeway. He was ejected onto the North bound lane and hit by a Vehicle driven by an investigator. The investigator could have been a "Hero" but instead didn't slow down for the accident scene and ran over my son. It is true we wait for them to come through the door with the beautiful smiles they carried with them and the their greeting. Mine was Maaa! "Just got you a starter at the junk yard and it looks almost brand new. I'll put it in tomorrow!" That was the last day he was alive. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU! I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I had two sons Joe was my youngest my older son has a metabolic disorder and needs 24 hour care; Joe helped me with him too. Joe was a "Gentle Soul" and so kind to everyone. I will always be proud of him. Thank you everyone for a piece of your hearts!

May 17, 2014
my seanny...
by: patricia

I lost my son Sean on November 23rd 2013 it was the worst day of my life, I was at work when the sheriff's came to tell me he died in a bad car accident that day is when a piece of my heart died. I at first thought if I got sick and died it would be ok that way I could see him or try to find him in death alot of thoughts ran thru my mind. Sean was my first son and my middle child. I don't know how I'm to live my life with one child gone I get so stressed and panic....I smile alot but on the inside I'm hurting and crying but I know I have to live life for my other kids.. I don't think my pain will ever get better I am trying to tell myself to get better with dealing with it..prayers for all the parents who lost a child

May 14, 2014
I know your pain
by: Jeanne

On May 18th it will be 2 years since I lost my daughter Jenni, she was 26. One day we were planning her wedding the next day we were planning her funeral. Like you all I want answers why.. But answers would bring them back or make it any better. Im just hoping that someday I can learn to deal with the pain. Until then the days just seem to all blend together.

May 11, 2014
Angel Elliot
by: Wendy

I completely know your pain. It's my first Mothers Day without my son Mark. The days just drag on without him and I feel like I'm just putting in time until we can be together again. I'm so tired of putting on my " I'm okay face" when inside I feel like screaming! Please know that others are feeling the same way..It does help to talk to others. Take care all you grieving mothers.

May 11, 2014
Angel Elliot
by: Wendy

I completely know your pain. It's my first Mothers Day without my son Mark. The days just drag on without him and I feel like I'm just putting in time until we can be together again. I'm so tired of putting on my " I'm okay face" when inside I feel like screaming! Please know that others are feeling the same way..It does help to talk to others. Take care all you grieving mothers.

May 11, 2014
Mother's Day 2014
by: Michael's Mom

601 days ago... 86 weeks tomorrow... 20 months on the 17th... the days are long... but gone so fast...
It's Mother's Day. Mother's Day.
The hollow hurt of what can never be.
We WILL be together again.
When?

May 10, 2014
My beautiful Angel Elliot x
by: Anonymous

It's been seven years since the angels came and took you that night and it feels like yesterday. Elliot was my only child, he was 10 yrs when he died from a bee sting, he was my world, my life, I adored him and still do. Elliot was so full of life and always smiling, he was an angel sent from god, I can't find the words to describe how I feel without him it's unbearable sometimes, still seven yrs on. I'll never get over the loss of my son, the past seven yrs have been so hard I nearly gave up many times and ended my life, but my angel must have been watching over me (my guardian angel )and never allowed that to happen, he always gave me the strength to carry on. No one who hasnt lost a child will ever know how it feels to lose a child, it's horrific and no mother should ever have to face it. I still cry myself to sleep many nights, I go over over in my head the memories of that night when my Elliot died, the last words he said to me in the ambulance before he took his last breath, when I asked him "are you ok baby" and he replied " I'm ok mummy" and then left me. That night I feel I died with him in way, as I'm not the same person as I was before and I feel many of you reading this will understand what I'm saying, the happiness I felt with my son by my side I will never feel again. I am a shadow of myself now I will never be that person again. Even now to get out of bed in the morning is the hardest task of the day without my Elliot waking me up at 6am switching the light on and off, him laughing and saying " mummy get up"
I wish I could hold my son again, kiss him and cuddle him, to hear his voice again call me "mummy" as he did many times a day. Life is so quiet and lonely now without my big bundle of joy, without him stomping around the house and laughing out loud, I remember our sunday drives together in the car singing along to the songs, I have many wonderful memories of my beautiful angel Elliot and that's all I have now to hold on to.
Elliot I miss you, I adore you, I love you with all my heart and soul, I carry you each and everyday in heart and I can only hope and pray that one day we will be together again....
Every mother who's lost a child reading this I hope you find strength and peace to carry on without your angels because I do know how you feel. x

Mar 12, 2014
my moses
by: mary ann

My son Moses left me on November 19 2013 of an methadone intoxication his father was murdered 27 yrs ago Moses turned 27 September 18 i used to say how can that mom go on now i no that we all are in a daze it hurts so much thank you for your beautiful poem i to long to see him want to no if he is OK i cry everyday an night but my other kids say i still have them but my heart feels empty i just want my son back God Bless everyone who knows the true meaning of broken hearts an pain.

Feb 19, 2014
My dear Javier
by: Rosa Orduño

I lost my beautiful son Javier on August 2013, he was 37 years old, full of life and dreams for the future. A terrible tragedy, he fell from a moving car. I can't understand, I can't accept it, it hurts so much not to see that gorgeous smile and hear that "hi ma what are you doing" What to do? All the parents that leave comments here, God bless us all, I feel your pain and send a big hug to everyone of you. It says that God has a plan and purpose for every one of us I just pray for faith to believe that and pray that my dear son is okay. I had a beautiful dream a couple weeks back, he was healthy and happy and told me "I am very happy mom, I had surgery but I am okay now" I wish I knew how to interpret dreams, anyone? Thank you

Feb 14, 2014
no tittle
by: Barbara

I lost my son Robert in july 2013. the dispair, pain and confusion are unbearable . he was 36 years old. he was born when i was 14 years old...He was a gift from god so sweet..
How am I supposed to continue

Feb 07, 2014
My only Son
by: Sherry

My son Cody at age 31 passed away from drug overdose. March 2, 2013. I read many of the post on here and I also feel the same way as many of you. I had thought from what people have said that after time I would feel better but I now know that will never happen. I struggle to get through each day. I feel hopeless. I am a grandmother raising my Grandson alone thank God for him or I don't know I would be here. I have a very difficult time being around anyone I have no close friends. I am very depressed. I want to know what God is thinking? How a mother is supposed to survive?

Jan 30, 2014
My son
by: Joan

My son passed away August 31st. I found him in his bed, face down. His feet weren't even touching the ground. He was 30yrs. old, going to school at the NAA. He was a Marine for 5yrs 8mths, he was also a veteran, served 2 tours in Iraq, and was 40% disabled. He had PTSD, but wouldn't seek the help for it. All I want to know is probably the million dollar question, how is he doing? Why doesn't he come to me or my husband in our dreams? My daughter had a dream, right before his memorial we had for him in the park. He had his arms open and she ran to him and he said, everything is going to be ok, the memorial will be beautiful, and don't worry about me, I'm fine, then he left. We miss you Frankie, and love you so much, please come to us in our dreams too.

Jan 28, 2014
our children always in our hearts
by: dianne

I am so sorry for all the pain we have to share here I am not good with words like the beautiful poem .I lost my son July 2013 the pain and emptiness I feel I know won't leave me as I find out from you all here.my son was my eldest but only 21 when I lost him his name is Paul he will always have a space in my heart and thoughts each and every day I loved him the day he was born and nothing will change that my thoughts are with us all here and I find this site a blessing as I don't feel so alone and it gives me an idea of what 2 expect from my future. To the new mums dads who are trying to make any sence of the despair emptiness and longing all's I can say is take one day at a time and remember their gorgeous smiles and laughter you shared hold their memories in your hearts and in time it does get just a little more bearable and you will have good and bad days but stay strong my thoughts are with each and every person here we will always love them no matter how long xxxx

Jan 27, 2014
Steven
by: Terri

My only child, my beautiful, loving son passed away on July 2nd., 2013. He was 30 years old. I read the posts here and am not alone in my grief and despair. It is unbearable, his 3 year old daughter keeps the light from fading, she is my reason to keep going. Depression is a dangerous enemy and I wish I had the foresight to know the signs. Not a day goes by without thinking about him and expecting him to walk into the house shouting "I'm home, how was your day?" or flowers for no reason except to say I love you mom ... I will never get over my loss, my life has changed forever, he was my life ...

Dec 31, 2013
Our Angels
by: Jenn from Ireland

As 2013 draws to a close tonight, its so sad for all of us who are in the club.. "Mothers / Fathers of Angels".

Unless, like us who have been through it people just dont understand what it is like and the pain we all face each and every day.

In January 16, 2014 it will be 4 years since I lost my wonderful 23 year old son Alan to cancer. He put up a brave fight for five years until he could fight no longer. He said to me that if he was not going to get better then dont tell him as he wanted to take each day and live in hope. I never did tell him.....

I just wanted to say tonight how sorry I am for each and everyone of you. I am not going to say all those things that most people say...like, he wouldn't want us to be grieving like this,,or get on with your life and move on.
Just do as you and only you want to do. Whether it be like me and cry into your pillow at night or whatever you need to do. To lose a child is horrendous and four years later I can only describe it like a bear looking for its cub. I just want him back.
Take care Jenn

Dec 30, 2013
My Mark
by: Wendy

It's been 6 mos since my son died. He's still the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last on my mind when I go to sleep, if I can sleep. I miss him so much I ache all over. I think a heart really can break! You are right when you say the world is going on around us. Everyone has gone back to their lives while ours stopped the day our child died! Don't stop talking about your child ,bring them up in normal conversation. Honour them by remembering all the happy times you had together forget any strife you may have had. They lived, they gave you love and joy. Even though I feel like dying without my Mark ,I wouldn't give up one minute we spent together.

Dec 29, 2013
My son died 8 weeks ago
by: Ma of Barry

My son's name is Barry and he was only 32 years old and he died on my birthday. It is just so very sad. I miss him terribly as we were understandable very close as he was my only child. I, like everyone here am reaching out to those that understand as everyone has gone back to their busy lives and we are left here to grieve the death of our son. He lived with his two beloved dogs about an hours drive from us but we saw him nearly every weekend and we spoke or SMS nearly every day. My memories are still focused on his death rather than of the happy times we shared. Christmas was terrible as it was always just the three of us as our families do not live near us.

Dec 29, 2013
I'm so sorry your son died.
by: Michael's Mom

8 weeks… it's all so new and awful. I am so sorry you are going through the horrible agony which brings us all to this page. I have found a lot of support and comfort there over the past 66 weeks since our son Michael died at 31 years of age. How old was your son? What is his name? Sending you prayers of peace and comfort.

Dec 29, 2013
My son died 8 weeks ago
by: Anonymous

He was my only child and I want him back so bad I ache all over. We are still waiting to find out the cause of death which they say can take a year. My husband and I found him at his home when he didn't return my phone call. They said it was fast and peaceful he was sitting watching tv but don't know why. We saw him 4 days before he died and he was fine. I miss him so much. He is all I think about and I cry many times a day, can't sleep and just want him back.

Dec 20, 2013
Javereon my bright Son
by: Candice

Today makes 7 months and 10 days, since I lost you due to a tragic random shooting. I only had 1 son.. You were taken so quickly without a clue.
God had given me an angel, here on earth. You were only 19. Your witty sense of humor, and warm heart. You were a piece of my heart. When I heard the news I was broken hearted. I will never be the same. Thinking it was to early for God to call your name.. Never forgetting how I would always say Javereon, are you ok.. And you would say yes mom I'm ok. But not today. Asking God, to take away all this pain. Cause so far my sunshine has turned to rain! I will always love you.

Dec 19, 2013
My son by Sheila
by: Anonymous

I lost my son 18 years ago on the 21st of December a car accident on his way back from college for Xmas vacation their is no greater pain than losing your child the pain today is like the first day we relive it every year at Xmas time we love and miss him so much it hurts so bad he left behind also his Dad and two brothers 7 weeks ago our youngest son and his wife gave birth to a beautiful little girl Mia I know he is watching on ver her she as a guardian angel so maybe this Xmas it will take away a little of our pain wishing all the moms and dads that have lost children Merry Xmas our angels are watching over us .

Nov 19, 2013
My beautifull son Nick
by: Janet

On Fri 22nd November 2013 will be the first anniversary of my sons tragic death after a motorbike accident during the terrible storms we had at the time. The accident was just before his 31st birthday. Nick was my eldest child...my most precious gift.We were very close and able to hug and show our love for each other. He left a much loved younger brother who has been so strong. I wish i could help him, but i dont know how. Im terrified of how i'll cope on friday. Im not a religious person....theres no one to blame for his accident. The other vehicle involved is not in anyway to blame and the driver has to live with the death of my son forever, im so sorry for her. I feel so empty,lost,angry and have no interest in my future. Why did he have to die? I worry he's unhappy and misses us. Im fed up with people telling me he's always with me, but i dont feel him, i need to know he's ok. If it wasnt for my younger son i'd happily join my Nick. Im so glad i found this site, at last...other people who understand me. Thankyou for being here.

Nov 19, 2013
Timothy
by: Ann

Your poem is very touching. My son died in an auto accident on July 22,2013. He was 21. No drugs, no alcohol. He was simply returning home after dropping off his girlfriend. It was very foggy and he missed a turn in the road. There are no words to describe the pain. I never thought that this was something we would ever go through. I foolishly believed that these things only happened to other people. My heart and prayers go out to each and every one of you.

Nov 18, 2013
My son
by: Wendy

My son has been gone 5mos and 1 day. It's not any easier I still cry every day and hardly sleep at night. I have wonderful memories but that does not replace his wonderful hugs. I will never understand this nightmare til I can hold him in my arms and see his smile again. People can't understand the pain we are going through unless they have lost a child as well. The holidays are making it even harder for me. I will be thinking of all of us sufferers and hoping we can make it through!

Nov 17, 2013
I lost my son on 17 june his a twin
by: mathanda

I can,t even sleep at night hes always on my mind,I don't know how to heal I wish I could take back the clock and hold him again I real miss my boy I want him back I really do

Nov 16, 2013
To Two Sons
by: Anonymous

You are filled with grace~~~ Your words touch my heart as you go through 2x what I am. Your faith must be very strong. Have you dreamt of yours sons?

Nov 15, 2013
Two Sons
by: Anonymous

I have lost both my boys - the first in 95 and the other in 2011. One was murdered and the other died of a brain aneurysm. I have gotten to know myself more intimately and have developed a deeper sense of paradox.......still, I miss them every day. I have been offered advice to 'put it behind' me and I often wonder if those offering advice have ever experienced loss. This journey has been extraordinary and very painful, and I have come to believe in the power of grace. May all who read this be blessed and understand that healing doesn't negate memory. I will hold both of them in my heart forever - I can learn to live again. s

Nov 13, 2013
Shawn's Mom
by: Anonymous

I lost my son Shawn when he was 24 years old on January 26, 2004. Soon to be 10 years ago. His dad found him one morning from an accidental overdose from prescription pain killers. You never get over it, and you never forget your child. You never stop missing them. It does get easier to endure. I can think about many good times, and he brings a smile to my face now when he crosses my mind. Used to be waves of unbearable grief. I think of him ervery day still, and I am sure I always will. He is part of me and I am a part of him. I think you never loose connection at the spirit level, and the spirit never dies.

Nov 11, 2013
lost 30 yr old son
by: Jpae

I got up at 8am, he was stiff and white. and his eyes and were glassed over, I knew he was gone. My husband and I figured he was experiencing with drugs, and it got the best of him. I was told you can't ask to give you closer. So what do I do now? I miss him so much. He's only been gone for 2 & 1/2tjs. He died of an accidental overdose. He had so much going for him. He was only 30yrs. He had his whole life ahead of him.I just want to see him one more time to make sure he's ok

Oct 13, 2013
my son paul
by: Anonymous

I lost my son paul 3 mnths ago he went asleep never to wake up .I remember the day exactly I wont ever forget it was something that I never even imagined would happen to me and I can say it was and still is the worst experience of my life I never wanted to outlive my children,I sympathise to all on here with the worst experience we all could share .I read the new posts and know exactly the feelings we go threw like I wrote its been 3 months now and the hurt for me is still raw my heart still feels an emptiness and I still cry I cant see these feelings ever changing I loved paul with all my heart and I always will he was my 1st born and I still feel angry at times that I only had 21 yrs with him but this is something I have to learn to live with.I am lucky in some ways to few on here as I have his younger brother who is pauls double hes the reason I have to carry on .I have to be strong and carry on our sons or daughters knew the love we all had for them and I know they would not want to see the pain we all share .I think of all the good times I shared with paul times it brings a smile times it doesn't I will miss him every day and I really hope there is a place where I meet him again when its my time to give him a hug and kiss but I have to wait to see if its true .my heart goes out to you all here and im so sorry for all your losses im not good with words and writing my feelings but I read the posts and the words say how much we all love and miss our children i find this site so helpful because i know i am not the only person to feel as i do my thoughts are with you all x
nite nite sweet dreams paulie i love you son x

Oct 13, 2013
My Lovely Son Mark
by: Ann

I posted here before on the 30 March this year. Its 6 months ago i just dont know where they have gone,one day is the same as the next. My Mark will be a year gone on the 17th of October, a whole year i miss him so much, he used to call most evenings for his dinner and i still watch out for him coming.Most people dont mention him any more and it breaks my heart. When im on my own i talk to him and i cry but when people are around i dont show my grief, i know i have not allowed myself to grieve for him, when i think off when we found him i blank it out of my mind. I ask God why did he have to take him and not me there"s so many why"s. Im sorry for all the people on this page, we all understand each other.

Oct 12, 2013
How do you survive this?
by: B

I lost my precious 25 year old son 10 days ago to a drunk driver. He was doing the right thing and taking a cab home with his fiancee of one month and this guy hit them head on.Only a couple of days ago we found out he shouldn't have been out as he had 10 warrants out for his arrest of which one includes wreck-less driving causing bodily harm while drunk. Between the grief and the anger I just don't know how my family will cope. He was my only son .... still in shock and so full of despair.

Oct 08, 2013
Forgiveness
by: Robs mom

I just lost my son, one month ago, he was 29. One month, it feels so long, where nothing and everything is important. I'm in a daze, going through the motions and trying not to project my pain onto others throughout my days. However, if the tears start to fall, I wipe them away as descretely as I can, hoping I don't have to explain as I know my voice will begging to shake and I worry they'll be no end to the tears that will follow. It feels sir real when I have to say those words "My son as passed away", I can't believe it's me moving my lips and my voice saying those words. I've read all the post and I'm sorry for everyone's loss, its terrible this common thread that we share, yet it's comforting to hear others who know of this pain that I have because they too have it-- I always told my son, 5 letters, 1 word: sorry. It's all you can say to let someone know you've wronged them. Forgiveness for ones self is a quiet miracle, it's done alone, it's when we pardon, we give up our resentments towards a perceived offender in the silence of our own hearts and minds. It's also when we can do that for ourselves, when we achieve forgiveness, I believe it's the loudest whisper you'll ever hear deep within your heart.
Thanks and take care.

Oct 06, 2013
My beautiful son
by: Anonymous

I lost my son December 16, 2009, he was 40 yrs old, no one ever told me to get over it. They wouldn't dare. Losing my son has left a hole in my heart. I could never say the word die, as long as I still have a breath in my body he will always be here!
I love you Jimmy and miss you more every day.

Sep 20, 2013
for the posting of Sept. 18, 2013
by: Anonymous

I am alarmed at the end of your posting. I know you are hurting... and have been hurting for a long time. But none of us know when "the end" is. Please don't let guilt dictate the length of your life.
Did you know that the word "responsibility" is never mentioned in the scriptures? None of us is "responsible" for another. We can try to influence choices and decisions, but the word "responsible" lends toward rules... laws... expectations.
You are not "responsible" for your son's death.
Plus... everything you feel, and felt for him, he knows. Really. He knows his Mom loves him... as he was growing up... as an adult... and forever more. And he loves you.

Sep 19, 2013
To Anonymous (last comment)
by: MIchael's Mom

I am so sorry you lost your son. So sorry. I feel your ache... I feel your guilt... I feel the blanket of horror and sadness that envelopes you.
My son has been gone a year now. There is not a day that goes by that I don't suddenly remember with a start "Michael is gone and he's never coming back." The feeling is horrible and sinking. He was 31 as well. 5/25/81-9/17/81
But I realize it is my guilt in which I am striving to hold him close. Because I can't hold him, love him, and keep him safe...I think of all the reasons, all the things I did wrong, everything I am at fault for, that contributed to his death.
I read this from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young: "It is not your place to judge- not even yourself. Judging is my job." I am working on forgiving myself... or at least not judging my actions. Remember that Jesus died for our sins. God only looks on our sons and ourselves with love and delight. Sins are gone... Jesus bore the consequences for them.
Our sons are forgiven, welcomed, celebrated, loved beyond our wildest imaginations. Their demons are gone... replaced with a strife-free ever-after. Nothing evil can touch them in any way now.
What's left is for us to find a way to leave the horror behind... and find the love and goodness.
Look in your heart... remove your guilt from mind... just for a minute... look for happy moments, however they came... whenever they came.
Your son used drugs which took his life. God knows it was his demons... not love, that took his life. Your son is not condemned to hell... and neither are you.
Please know... your son is only worried about you now. You will see him when your Life Journey is over. There will be ONLY Love... and you will have no trouble expressing it!
In the mean time... please keep this in your heart :"At times of deep regret, you need to grasp onto Grace for dear life". Forgive your son. Forgive yourself.
You are loved.

Sep 18, 2013
I too lost my son
by: Anonymous

My son died at age 31. He overdosed on fentanyl intentionally. He is my only child. He once said to me mom we spoke about drugs today at school, and there is an older boy in the neighborhood that takes drugs. Mom I promise you I will be the best son and make you proud of me but first you have to tell me something and mean it I can tell the difference. You see when he was born it was an emergency and I could only have one child as we almost died that day. A neighbor I thought was a trusted friend with 2 children said to me don't spoil him you'll have to be hard on him so he can learn to survive in this world. I had no clue about mothering sadly followed her advice. That day I looked at my son and said I will have to think about this. All he wanted to hear I believe was I love you my son. As he grew I always meant to tell him how much he was loved and cherished, but the time never seemed right-he grew and started using drugs. He did not get along with his dad at 18 he left home. More drugs, he would not come back I tried. He was looking for love-his first girlfriend gave him that special feeling, but her father found out about my son's past with the drugs and forbid his daughter to see my son ever again. He told me he will be alright. He was still using I begged him to stop he said he tried he can not. He took the drugs to end his pain I believe for lack of love he thought. He eventually got married to a girl that he thought loved him, but he began using drugs again after a surgery he had and could not stop. She left him and my son called me that night to say good bye mom I love you- then he screamed into the phone I want to die, those words I wanted to say were stuck inside me-I told my son to call me back as we were now in different states I could not get to him. I did not know what to do-who to call so I waited for him to call me and he died that night alone with nothing left of him, and never feeling the love he deserved. Oh we both exchanged the I love you's when we saw each other and spoke on the phone, but it was never the talk I should have had with him. I am riddled with guilt and can not forgive myself for not telling him those words. I believe I caused all the pain in his life because we never had that talk. It's all my fault my son died. It's been 4-1/2 years and I am hurting so bad I don't know how I will live with myself until I die. this is a horror story for me that is sadly real. I am so sorry for all that have posted here and lost a son too. Its so hard, our hearts are scared forever-mine still bleeds for all my wrongs to him. I am so sorry so so sorry. No one can end this pain except me now, and I know the end is coming I hope soon. As I don't think I can or should live much longer with this pain. Your poem speaks volumes-I copied it with your name of course. I hope you don't mind.

Sep 02, 2013
thank yoy for sharing your poem x
by: Anonymous

I lost my son on 11/07/2013 I had a call to say come quick somethings wrong I went straight away but he wqas already gone he looked just like he was asleep.Theres not a day or nite that I don't think about him and miss him with all my heart my heart goes out to all on here as I to experience the despair that you all feel I read the poem and thought it was so accurate and had to say thankyou so much for sharing it with us all.my sons name was paul and he will always be in my broken heart but I will always remember his amazing smile .

Jul 08, 2013
My beautiful boy
by: Wendy

Our son mark died June 17/13 I still can't believe it's true,I want to wake up from this horrible night mare.he was a joy to us and his death was so unexpected. He had Hogkins lymphoma with a 95% recovery expected.he had a bad reaction to a chemo drug that caused him to go into a diabetic coma. He came out of it fighting undergoing dialysis 3 times. He walked for the first time 21/2 weeks after going into the hospital,I left for an hour to go home and change but didn't even make it home before the hospital called for us to hurry back..he had a massive clot and died before we could get back to the hospital..his wife was with him and she said it was over in 30secs..I don't want to live in a world without my boy,I wasn't done yet .we talked about all the things he wanted to do still. He had a lot more to live for.i have nothing to live for. I want to be here for my husband daughter and daughter in law.i can't stop remembering all the love we had .i don't see the point in anything .i don't believe in god so that does ,not bring relief

Jul 01, 2013
Mynson patrick
by: Mom

Mynson will be gone 5 years in September .it feels like yesterday I sent him off to florida to resume college classes.
He was only 20 and had an accident. Although time has made it more bare able it has destroyed his younger sister.she has been severely depressed on top of being the weaker of my children. Compound this with meeting the wrong bf and friends who eased her pain thru illegal substances.
I now live a life of trying to keep my second child alive and sober and hopefully happy.pray for her. I never had a chance to save my son but I do with her.


Jun 14, 2013
I Promise Each and Every One of You
by: Anonymous

It was October 20th, 2006 when "our" call came in. My 26 year-old son had died in his sleep from a seizure. No drugs or alcohol in his system. Just the last of many seizures that his poor brain could not handle. That phone call awakened me, but it also killed me. I died right there on the edge of my bed, and it was clear I would never recover.

But then I did. I am not religious, nor even spiritual. I don't feel I will see him again. I don't believe he is anywhere other than the ocean where we placed his ashes. I sense nothing mystical about his passing, and yet, inexplicably, I have come to terms with it.

Art, writing, moving forward with my mind when my body would not follow, sharing, doing good deeds, giving and helping others, and reading....mostly reading. This club, this living hell we mothers must endure, is huge. That was my salvation in a sense. I thought of the mothers of the soldiers in all our wars, the plagues and accidents that took young lives. Life and death are connected in a way that some live long and some live short lives. We never know what our fate will be.

Putting my child's death in this context helped me. I was determined to live on without him. If the millions of other mothers could survive, then so could I. I still have bad moments, but life is good. Life is actually beautiful and more precious than ever before. I am laughing, loving, and living in the real world, and the passing of my child; the thought of my child, brings a mixture of tears of grief and tears of joy. I am thankful for those 26 years.

May 22, 2013
My Jacob
by: Anonymous

I lost my wonderful son Jacob on DEC 4 2012 . He was hit while on his motorcycle. Jacob Had been over seas for 3 years prior to his death while in the army .He and his wife and 20 month old son had been home for almost 2 months when it happened. I was so happy to have him home , they even moved 3 doors away ,now I am forced to drive by that house each day.It is the hardest thing to deal with . Today is his 24th birthday , we had a balloon release in his honor . I know he now lives besides Jesus and for that I am thankful. I do not understand why but I do know we will see each other one day . My days are filled with a deep sadness. A void that will never be filled again .I pray for each one of you but know that the Lord is walking beside you . I think we will have this pain until our last breathe

May 17, 2013
Our sons hold out hearts
by: Anonymous

My 22 year old son died in a car accident in January 2013. Not a day goes by that he is not constantly on my mind. I am on my knees begging to see him. To know he is OK. To ask him what he wants me to do in raising his 2 year old son. My heart literally aches for him and I have not simled nor will I ever see myself smiling o laughing in this lifetime. I miss him so much if it wasnt for my grandson and my daughter, I would be very very tempted to go see him now. This pain is unbearable. I love you my dear sweet baby boy.

May 11, 2013
Heartbreak of all heartbreaks
by: Kimberly

This is a beautiful tribute to your child.I know this pain and it is beyond any I have ever felt.I lost my child when he was 18 in a tragic accident and not a day goes by that I don't wish I could bring him back and he would be here with all of us.God blessed us with beautiful children and we will always carry that love and those memories in our hearts.

May 09, 2013
To Michael's mom
by: Vin's mom

Thank you.

May 09, 2013
To Vin's Mom
by: Michael's Mom

Dear Vin's Mom,
This journey is hard... and so unexpected. I know you'll agree with me that we've put in our time... this nightmare should be over.
For Michael and Vin it IS over. They are happy and content. Michael's Dad had a dream where Michael was on a lawn. His Dad went to talk to him and Michael told him how happy he was and how he didn't want to come back. He told his Dad that it is all good. His eyes were saying "Please don't make me come back". And so we have tried harder to let go.
But... for as much as Michael and Vin are surrounded by love and forgiven for any (and all) mistakes they made, you and I feel cheated with the loss of our sons. I have made many mistakes since Michael died and I know I will continue to make more. I am grateful to be forgiven.... but I would give up eternity to have my son back. In a blink.
It is so hard to think of anything but our sons.
I AM very sure that they are in eternity... and probably having a wonderful time. They are happy, loved, and content.

May 08, 2013
To Michael's Mom
by: Vin's mom

I was wondering how you were doing with your journey? My son, Vincent, is always on my mind. Always. I found you to be a spiritual person and hope your pain is easing. I'm grateful to have a space to write to and read.

Apr 14, 2013
I Lost My Son
by: Marie

I have lost my son too, he and his wife have chosen to cut his father and I out of their lives. I don't know why. No contact since Xmas 2011. My mother passed away in Feb 2012, which I let him know, he came to the funeral but didn't phone me during the week between her passing and the funeral. The first Mothers day without my Mum he still didn't contact me. No Birthdays or Father's Day of Xmas 2012 either. I feel like I am grieving for my Mum and also my Son. My youngest Son gave me my first grandson in August 2012, and at the Christening my eldest Son still didn't talk to me. I am at a loss. Was I a bad Mum, did I not show him love? We were so close for so many years. I miss him so much - I sit at night and cry for him. I hope he is happy in his life with his wife. We were such a close family once even working together for 6 years in the family business. My heart hurts so much. I lost me son but he is still alive.

Apr 02, 2013
My Journey
by: A mom,

God blessed me with two precious sons and allowed me to experience their love. My youngest passed in 1996 (heart arrythmia)he was 30 and my oldest passed in 2000 (cancer) he was 39. Over these many years I too have felt much of what you share in your poem...I also did a lot of "knee" work. Then I wrote my Grief Recovery Journal (my tool box on life as I was now on a new journey). I share this with others that are new to this journey with the hope that in place of sadness, one will find the ability to reach out not in to self and share their journey to others in loving memory of their loved ones. I hope this helps in some way to ease your loss, pain and hurts. Grief is on-going for me but I find that is all about the choices I make and for me it is in reaching out to others in my boy's loving memory. I know that is what they would want me to do. A good program that many churches run for a 13 week period is called "Grief Share". It is another one of my tools that you will find in my tool box on life.
HELIUM

Mar 30, 2013
It Hurts
by: Anonymous

Our son was 31 when he died exactly a month before Mark. It is so awful... so heartbreaking. Everyday it hits me over and over that he is gone and never coming back.
I am so sorry you are feeling this loss. I hope you have found Compassionate Friends and Love and Loss on Facebook, as well as this site.
Somehow it helps to be able to talk about our children and losing them with others who are on the same journey.
Blessings to you and your family. Peace be with you.

Mar 30, 2013
MY LOVELY SON MARK
by: Ann

I lost my lovely son on 17 of October 2012. My heart is broken never to be fixed my husband and I found him in his bed, he looked like he was just asleep. He was 33 yrs old too young to die. A child should not die before the parents.I talk to him every day and i cry for him every day i miss him so much. I ask for a sign that he is happy and ok but i dont get one..The pain and longing to see him again is eating away at me. Love you so much Mark xxx

Mar 02, 2013
at Jenn
by: Anonymous

Oh Jenn... there are so many, too many, who know what you are going through. You miss your boy so much... you were a part of him... and he a part of you. This is so unfair... so wrong... so awful.
On Facebook search "Love and Loss" and "Compassionate Friends". You will never feel alone again. I promise.
Michael's Mom

Mar 02, 2013
Stll grieving .....
by: Jenn

Hi,
My name is Jenn and I lost my wonderful 23 year old son Alan to cancer on January 16, 2010.

He took cancer at aged 18 and i nursed him for five years..until he passed away at 23.
I know it is three years now, but i seem to be getting worse. Yes, I have had all the counselling, anxiety tablets etc. but none of its helping. I just want him back. I feel just as bad now as they moment he died, and even worse. I realise now he is not coming back.
I have tried everything, i go to church, go out with friends, but i hate it and i just want to go home after i get out.
Does anyone feel like this. Family are angry at me for not being able to move on and as a result have all fallen out with me and dont bother with me anymore.
Take care, Jenn

Mar 01, 2013
My beautiful angel in heaven
by: Anonymous

My beautiful son Adrian passed away on Nov 18, 2003 I will miss him forever, but I know I will see him someday. I'm not afraid of dying anymore
Bless my angel in heaven love and miss you terribly.

Feb 06, 2013
Vin's Mom
by: Michael's Mom

Dear Vin's Mom,
When I read what you wrote, I experienced "warm shivers" and it became mandatory that I write the words that were in my head. I truly feel your son did not mean to die. He is so sorry that it happened and you are in such pain. The words "forgive" and "forgiveness" are front and present. I felt I had to let you know that he is out of the darkness... free from the darkness.. and in the light. He is loving... and loved.
I know these things are hard to accept. I have never had a message like this before. I only know I had to tell you.
From me personally, I understand the awful pain you are feeling. I know you would give the world for one more hug... one more smile...
I know you are wondering how this can be. I know you ache for your son Vin.
As I miss my surfer boy. He traveled the world surfing... but he always came home. He died from a blood clot 2 houses away from his house in an ambulance. I pray he wasn't terrified and in pain. A big part of me died with him.

Feb 06, 2013
To Michael's mom
by: Vin's mom

It was your post that compelled ME to write about my story. Your words were beautiful and you touched my heart. You continue to touch my heart with your thoughts and I wish you can tell me more about what you felt about my son. I knew in my soul already what you wrote. I would love to hear more about your son. My son was also loved by so many.

Feb 06, 2013
To Michael's mom
by: Anonymous

It was your post that compelled me to write about MY Son. Please explain more about your feelings about my story. I can feel your pain and send you my love and wishes for moments free of pain.

Feb 06, 2013
To Vin by Anonymous
by: Michael's Mom

Dear Vin by Anonymous,
I feel in my heart that I must respond to your post. I don't want to hurt you... I have never done this before... but I feel extremely compelled to tell you that your son did not mean to die. He is sorry. He is concerned for you and his family. He forgives and is forgiven. I feel compelled to tell you that "the darkness is gone and he is in the light". I hope you see this and that it brings you the peace I feel within the message.
I too lost my adult son. It's been 20 weeks now. The hurt is always there.
I do not mean to upset you. If anyone had words for me, I would want them to share.

Feb 05, 2013
Vin
by: Anonymous

I lost my son 15 weeks ago. He was 26. He took his life. We only know he was taking proscribed medication for depression and we trusted he was doing fine. I think for a moment he went to a dark place, on his own or because of the meds. We will never know why. The pain of his loss is unbearable. He is on my mind every minute, every day. I don't know how to function like this. I have to hide the pain from my other two children because they are suffering their own pain and when they see me, I know it makes things worse. I fake smiles for them. I would like to believe that he is an energy around us or that I will see him again, but, I know, I will never have the joy in my life that I had. I would have gone and kept him here if I was given the choice.

Jan 07, 2013
Sons 4 year anniversary
by:

I, too, lost my oldest Son...He was just 21...February 7th, will be his 4 year anniversary...The world has gone on, but to me everything remains the same...I function because I have to...just will never be able to accept or understand why this has happened to me and my family or for that matter, to any one else's family...it is so unfair and although I know life goes on, it is definitely a much different life...After all this time, which still feels like yesterday, I have never discussed this publicly, with people I do not know...I have read many heartbreaking and similar situations, as I have here and it always touches my heart...I know there are other people, unfortunately, who feel the way I do...This poem is beautiful...It says everything I feel and want to say...I've written some poems for my Son, but the words never flow the way I want them to...the way this poem does...I am truly sorry for your loss and the losses of all the other people here...just wanted to comment on your beautiful poem and unleash abit of the pent up turmoil...Apparently, it helps and hopefully, this is true...Time - more time - will only tell...

Dec 31, 2012
i put my arms around you
by: diana daniels

i dont know whats going on at the end of this year, i lost my son charles November 18,2012 at 1;45am im still in shock, he was my life, my world, my sun shine in the day the stars that twinkle at night charles was my light. we were the best of friends it was just me and him, he called me his side kick, but the night he passed he left me. i cant ask god why, i know why, they were a special gift from him, they were never ours to keep, just to grace from god .he let us see his glory, i keep asking him , couldn't you just let me have him for a little while longer, but god has better plans for them, i just learned just how dark this world is ,when my light went out. and i know this in a better place, but the pain is still there, in my prays i ask my son to come get me, i want to be with you, but my work here isn't finish yet.our love ones must have been special that god seen fit to let them see him now, so put my arms around you all because we share the pain. love you all

Dec 29, 2012
My Son is Gone Too
by: Michael's Mom

Michael's been dead 102 days,
14.5 weeks,
3 months and 11 days.
Some folks are still finding out...
Each person discovering his death makes it more final.
It's not ok... in any way...
How can God let this happen to Michael... to our family... to his friends... to me: Michael's Mom?
So many people came to Michael's Memorial Sail and Paddle-Out;
The ocean was full of surfers; The cliffs were crowded with friends... The boats were filled with family and friends...
So many broken hearts on that dark cloud-filled day.
I am so angry.. so sad.. so lonely.. GOD... WHY?
So many broken dreams floating in the erie calm surf...
Our son's ashes scattered...
The surfers circled and splashed the water to release his spirit...
The wind came up... the surf got rough...
Michael is gone from this earth.
But I am still Michael's Mom.
I love my boy. I pray he is full of joy as he surfs great waves in heaven.
I can't stand to think he is scared or in despair...
He died too young to "Rest In Peace".

Dec 28, 2012
My Beautiful Green-Eyed Boy
by: Kristie Lynn Wothe

I found this poem a perfect fit, it's how I feel the don't quit!!! I
my Son Steven James Hillaire on Nov. 11, 2012, he was 17yrs old. His Birthdays coming up soon, it gets closer everyday, he would have been 18, if god hasn't taken him away. He was due on a very loving day, but like me, he was stubborn and chose another day. He was born on Feb. 13, 1995, we both almost lost our lives tday but i wasn't losing my son then, no way!!! Now he is gone and I am lost I never realized the true cost of loving someone so much. My heart is gone I don't know what to do. He was mine damn it, so I've asking God, How could you???

Dec 22, 2012
my tall handsome precious son
by: nancy

I lost my son 11/7/12. He was 46. Had drug and alcohol problems. I was a single parent after his dad and I divorced when he was 10. His fad was gone a lot and we were bonded intensely. We went to movies, the beach, laughed together. he wouldn't go to school and ended up in juvenile hall at 24. I thought he would straighten up. He met a woman 22 Years older who was also an alcoholic. I went to alanon and learned I was powerless over his disease. Still we always had fun with each other. He got pneumonia this year. He was a heavy smoker. Then developed blood clots in his right leg. He had surgery and supposed to take coumadin..he wasn't suppose to smoke. He took percocets and had used crystal meth. He was out of control. Got a job at gnc. Sent photo. Had been a very successful personal trainer. He died in his sleep. I am heartbroken and feel I can't go on. We always kissed, hugged and said I love u. Want him back NOW!!!

Dec 11, 2012
Can He Really Be Gone?
by: Anonymous

So far away...
So close...
He is not present...
But not gone...
Losing him hurts differently and more painfully
with the dawn of each day;
And...
nothing anyone says or insists on
matters anymore...
IN THE LEAST.
I want my son back.
Now.
This is awful,
and ridiculously tragic,
and the worst nightmare I can't wake up from.
Please give me back my son. Please. Now.

Dec 10, 2012
LOSING WAYNE
by: RUTH

8 MONTHS AGO MY SON WENT TO SLEEP AND NEVER WOKE UP. HE DIED OF A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK AT AGE 30. LOSING MY SON IS HELL ON EARTH. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH A NEW NORMAL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I CARRY ON BECAUSE OF MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDCHILD BUT I'LL LIVE WITH THE HOLE IN MY HEART FOREVER. 7 MONTHS AGO HIS DAD JOINED HIM IN HEAVEN. HIS GRIEVING HAS ENDED BUT MINE GOES ON. I PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AND KEEP GOING. MY SON WAS BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY SO THIS IS THE FIRST BIRTHDAY AND CRISTMAS WITHOUT HIM. WAYNE, REST IN PEACE AND I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH...MOM

Dec 05, 2012
Michael is gone.
by: Anonymous

Our son Michael died Sept. 17, 2012 at the age of 31 from a blood clot.
Every day I think "31.. how can this be?" I've tried to deal with God to let him come back even though I know it's impossible. We've had some "visits" that are truly comforting... but the comfort doesn't last.
How can my son be dead? God is all powerful... How can He allow this to happen to our children... to us?
Your poem states what we all feel.
We are all searching for answers we will never have. We are all longing for hugs we will never get. We are all living in a warped reality as a result of losing our children.
How many tears can a parent cry? My Michael is truly gone.
I am not afraid of death anymore. Not at all. I just want to see him.

Dec 02, 2012
my son
by: Anonymous

i lost my son just over two weeks ago. He hanged himself in his hospital bedroom. In a place i believed he would be safe. Oh how wrong was I. I cry most days and my partner asks how long this will go on --- he just doesn't understand the pain I am feeling xxxxxxxxxx

Nov 11, 2012
Hugs
by: Anonymous

So sorry ...it's hard it's really hard.
Since my tragedy I am finding keeping busy, moderate exercise and watching comedies good distractions.It NEVER goes away but some days for a few minutes..I feel almost ok.

Keeping my son alive in my mind and when I feel that I have not forgotten anything I feel much better.

Sep 27, 2012
another sad mom
by: Anonymous

Your poem has touched so many and speaks of how painful it is to lose a child. My son died Jan 23, 2011. I wil never accept it - i miss him so much. No one can understand this pain - and if you do its because you lost someone to. Thanks for sharing the feelings of so many. God Bless You.

Sep 12, 2012
So Sad
by: Deanna

My son was killed 4 years ago in a motor cycle accident. The pain is still so real and everyday I wait for him to walk in and tell me he is home. Everyone says it will get better, but I don't think so.

Sep 11, 2012
my son cary was killed by a drunk driver almost 3 years ago
by: SAndy

I think of him every day time has healed nothing. I feel him by me I listen to his voice as we still have his recording on his phone. son i love and miss you so much. my huggs and prayers go to all. sweet dreams cary love mom

Sep 08, 2012
Michael
by: Anonymous

My heartfelt sympathy and hugs go out to all who have posted here. I lost my son, Michael, two years ago today September 8, 2012. He was struck by lightning and died instantly, so they say. I wish that I had words to share that would be comforting but I don't know any. Just know that I cry with you, I pray to see him again just as you all do and I have days when I really don't want to live anymore, as I'm sure everyone has felt. My thoughts are with you and I'm sending healing thoughts as I write this. I miss my son so much, sometimes I want to scream...and sometimes I do when I'm alone. But for right now I'm sharing my deepest feelings with strangers, who are the only ones who know why and understand. God help us, and if you have issues with or don't believe in God, may the universe give us a little peace.

Aug 25, 2012
It's already 4 1/2 mon.
by: Anonymous

Ur poem hit me in the heart u just said it all my son took his life away march 30th he was in icu and died April 2 every day I was in the hospital praying for to god if he needed a soul for him to take mine and to let my son live he was only 16 he turned 17 two weeks later after his death he was my first born since April 2 my life ended I live in pain day after day wanting my son back wanting to hear his voice and can't I died with my son

Aug 24, 2012
Loss of our son
by: Deb

I lost my son was 2 years ago july 18th he died 4 days after my birthday . He was 25 years old had his whole life ahead of him . I think about him everyday and every night . He lived with hubby and me was our only child . My husband found him upstairs he took some pills and accidently overdosed :( being a parent and feeling loss I know how anyone else whos lost there child feels . You go thru the motions of everyday life and try to go on best u can but the truth is your lifes never the same . I have never been able to go upstairs at all where he was found i dont know that i ever will . I just want to say i know everyone thats lost someone special in there life i feel for you too and know your pain . We just have to believe our loved ones are in a better place now hugs to all of you.

Aug 24, 2012
love for my son
by: Mr Valentin

Beautiful poem, i thought only i felt the pain of loseing a son,it's been 4 years i lost my son. tell this day the pain in my heart still lives on.seems like it never goes away,but i think of the memory we share has he was growing up.an makes me a feel a lil better.hope you don't mine but i to used ur poem on my son facebook

Aug 12, 2012
My Little Star
by: Anonymous

I Lost My Son April This Year I was 26 Weeks Pregnant But To hold Him In My Hands Killed Me Noing I wouldn't Be holding Him Again I Cry Ever Day I Think As Days Go By The Pain Gets Worse :( Your Peom Is Lovely X

Jun 23, 2012
Loss of our son
by: Anonymous

It will be 2 years july 18th 2012 since we lost our only child a son he was 25 he was our world . It was a drug overdose with pills . They say time heals and it gets easier but I dont see how that can be . Anyone that knew our son loved him and he wore a wonderful smile . He would do anything for anyone give his shirt off his back . He died here in our home makes it really hard to live here . It happened upstairs and ive never been able to go up there since it happened . Hubby has been but its hard on him . I remember the day it happened he was smiling and joking and singing on the karaoke machine here was in a great mood id never thought the day would ended with his death . I keep telling myself someday we will see him again we have to trust god we know Chris is looking down from Heaven and watching over us .

Jun 23, 2012
Gucci
by: Carol

We lost our son Andy, his nickname from birth was Gucci. He was just 28 years old when he took his own life for reasons we cannot understand or even know today. He was born September 2, 1983 and died December 6, 2012. Our life will never be the same. I am always thinking about him and I know that unless you have lost a child you never understand that terrible grief a parent feels. He will never be forgotten and will always, always be remembered and loved. If you can read the poem The Chord, it brings comfort to me. Bless all who are grieving the loss of a child...

Jun 16, 2012
My beautiful son
by: Dawn

I lost my son 2 1/2 weeks ago. He took his own life. He was 20 yo. He was dealing with a physiological issue that caused him a great deal of emotional pain. He came to me 8 months ago to tell me about it. He was crying. I took him to therapy and we were looking at surgery as well to take place this summer. I talked with him many times about not taking his life. He told me was not suicidal. The pain of missing him and never seeing him again is so intense I don't feel like I can go on. But, I have to because I have another son (my deceased son's twin) I need to be here for. Your poem is exactly how I feel.

Jun 15, 2012
My son Billy
by: Anonymous

I lost my son 3 months an 5 days ago. He was killed in a car accident. Today is his birthday 6/15/90 he would have been 22.O don't know how to go on without him. He did leave a beautiful son who is 2. I have 3 other children a son 23,daighter 20, and my youngest son19, I love them all so much.I just don't know how to help ease our pain.

Jun 03, 2012
May we one day find peace
by: Anonymous

I lost my son as well and know how excrutiating the pain is. The first year I didn't think I could go on because I thought of him everyday all day. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. He was killed on Memorial Day in 2010. The police came to our door at 3am to notify my husband and myself. We also had to go identify his body. We didn't even have a funeral for him. I could not do it. His clothes are still in his closet. I used to smell his clothes with my eyes closed. Time has gone on. I thought I was doing much better (let's say surviving the loss) when this past Memorial holiday came. All of the sudden I was back where I was. I could hardly stand the pain. I have never experienced anything in my lifetime as painful as losing my son. Unless you have experienced a loss as profound as losing a child, I don't think people understand how painful it is and think you should bounce back after a year. I know what you are going thru. I am so sorry for your loss.

May 27, 2012
Birthdays
by: Anonymous

My sons birthday is June 14 he is my angel in heaven he would of been 23 this year. A drunk driver took him from us on 12-21-2008, he took my son and life has been so difficult without him. People tried telling me time heals all wounds but that is so not true it still feels like yesterday. My angel will forever remin 19. I miss and love him so very much words can not express.

May 24, 2012
Lost
by: Anonymous

I lost my youngest son twenty months ago. He and his friend were found shot to death on our land. For months, we were told by authorities not to release info, so rumors started that he had killed his friend and then himself. This was not true. Regardless of who killed him, he is gone. I miss him each and every day. I cry for him each and every day. I wonder if I could have saved him. I regret the moments I did not spend with him. I despair. I lost my child and I lost my faith. I am lost.

Apr 16, 2012
I miss him so much
by: Anonymous

It will be 2 years tomorrow that my sweet son took his own life and your poem explains exactly how I still feel, and will probably feel for the rest of my life. I miss him so much.

Apr 10, 2012
my precious son hanged himself
by: Anonymous

please can you help me

Apr 06, 2012
Lost our precious son
by: Liz

I lost my 30 yr old son to leukemia, the horrible disease, 3 years ago in aug. I have learned that I can only live 24 hours at a time. The grief is too overwhelming to think past the day. He was our only son and best friend. With the help of God we get through each day. He helps us to not dwell on it and stay busy. Otherwise I think that we would shoot ourselves. Turn your pain over to God that is the only solution. People say that it gets easier, those that say that haven't ever walked in our shoes. Everyday is worse than the day before.

Mar 31, 2012
Beautiful
by: Anonymous

what a beautiful Poem so true, hope you dont mind I have copied this to my sons facebook it says so much. Seven months and the pain is unreal he was my only child and I love him more than life its self. I have a step daughter who loved him very much they were so close. I have a lovely family who loved him he has left such a void in our lives but he is my son and the grief I feel is so painful. What a cruel life we live in xxxx

Jan 24, 2012
I know how you feel!
by: Anonymous

Dear mum,

Your poem was wonderful. I loved it. I lost my son 7 months ago on July 1 to suicide. I am in deep pain and crying all the time. I miss him very much. We have to live with this pain for the rest of our lives . But both of us will see our child. I am sure about this when our time comes we will join them.

Your friend

Dec 22, 2011
son
by: Anonymous

Ilost my son august 21,2010 in a car accident and i know the pain

Dec 17, 2011
my son deangelo
by: Anonymous

Your poem is so beautiful I am crying. I lost my four year old.son. he was murder. I always cry for him I miss him so much. Thanks for sharing your poem.

Dec 15, 2011
Jimmy
by: A mom

Your poem is beautiful. My feelings exactly. Has been almost 8 months for me & you are right, doesn't get easier. God bless you during this holiday season.

Dec 15, 2011
3 weeks today
by: dayna kadash

my son was murdered thanksgiving day everyday i put down thoughts and words today i found your poem that put them all together for me thank you and my heart bleeds for you also

Nov 10, 2011
My Son Terrance
by: Mom

They say he took his life at the age of 31 and he was my first born. I truly miss my baby. He was born on 11-11-79 and his journey ended on 3/11/11. In 2 days 11/11/11 we will be celebrating his 32nd Birthday and 8 months going home celebration. I truly miss him.

Jun 29, 2011
our newborn baby boy who passed away unexpectedly he was almost 2 mon old
by: jamie craig

I know you're pain of losing ur son ! It never goes away or gets easy ! We lost r son may 3 2006 he was almost 3 mon old he had a cough so I took him to the dr and she said he was a little congested but was fine and he had an ear infection so she gave him an antibiotic for the ear infection and we left I got his med filled and we went home he seemed fine he was playing and no fever so later that day I gave him a bath and his med and then feed him his bottle then I layed him down for the night . Well at about 5am my oldest doughter wich was 2 at the time woke me up wanting choc milk so I got up and was checking on him in his bassenet wich was right beside me I was checking on him and he looked weared so I rubbed his belly to get him to jump and nothing then I noticed he was blue around his mouth !! I then knew something wasn't right so I yelled at his dad to get up and he jumped right up I couldn't pick him up I was in shock !! He was very hot !! We ran him downstares and his dad started CPR as I was on the phone with 911 they come and took him to the hospt. They worked on him up the rd as they was doing prolly 100mph they got him to the hospt and they worked on him for about 1 1/2 hours and not one sign of life they said his temp when he got there was 104 and that was prolly coming off of 112 like he spiked a fever and it was so high it just took him ! All this happen not even 24 hours after he was at the dr wich she was a new dr ! She came to the hosp and talked with the dr then left ! They did an otopsie and it was like forever b4 we knew anything first the medical exsaminer called and said it may have been SIDS and I said NO !! He was running a fever so there was infection somewhere and SIDS they go to sleep and just don't wake up so then months went by and the funeral home called me and said we have the death certificate if u want to come get it so I did and it said he had acute broncular phnemona so then I took his death certificate to the dr wich was right beside of the funeral home so she could have a copy of it and as I was walking out she said I wish or I should have done a cheast x ray and I said what she said oh nothing I'm talking to my girls so I then left and that raised a red flag so I then got a lawyer and a yr passed we only had 2 yrs to file it so then by the end we had went through 4 lawyers and they al at first said this is a big medical milpractice case and that she changed her paper work that she wrote the day I had him in her office she toled me he was congested then after all this she put on there his lungs were clear and that he had broncitis wich was never said ! They said it would b to hard to prove bc her paper work was scetchey I seen her paper work but nothing was done to her she is still a dr !! We have a lot of unanswered questions ! I would love to talk to her but when she sees me she jets and won't even look at me ! Mommy loves u baby clinton wesley allen craig feb 8.06 to may 3.06 mommys little sunshine !

Jun 11, 2011
Jimmy
by: A Mom

I lost my son on 5/5/11. Life will never be the same. He was my oldest child. 34 yrs old. Motorcyle accident. It is not real. His dad & i miss him so much. He was my lover, hugs & kisses & "i love u mum." I know i have to go on for myself, my husband & my other children. But how? God I love you baby boy!! Why??? Life is not fair, I was supposed to go first, not my child. 34 or 15, it doesn't matter. Hurts the same. It's been over a month. Feels like i saw him yesterday. When will it get easier? Always told him to be careful, he always said, i will mom. Love you Jimmy to the moon & back, forever & ever...

Jun 05, 2011
Cary's Bday
by: Sandy Johnston

6-14-89 is my son's bday he would of been 22 this year but a drunk driver took him away from me. Today was bad on me memories are very hard at times like this. I miss and love him so much.

Jun 04, 2011
My Son Bill
by: Leigh

I to lost my son it will be a year this July 16th, 2011.....he was 49 years old....died from a heart attack....the loss is so great, the hole in my heart will never be filled...but I think about the great times and talks we had together and I celebrate his life with the memories I love so much...I am very blessed that God chose me to be his Mum for those short years, miss him so much and my greatest hope is someday we will be together again in God's time...may the Lord give all you Mum's and Dad's and family members peace in your loss....love you Bill....your Mum...xxxooo

May 12, 2011
To My Son--I miss you--MOM
by: Anonymous

I lost my son on November 30, 2010. He took his own life with a gun. He left a beautiful daughter behind. That I don't understand because I know he loved her very much. My son was not an angel all the time but I did find out that he was diagnosed with bi-polar/manic depression. If you haven't lived in our skin then you don't know what parents are going thru that are grieving the death of a child. My son was 36 years old but he was still "my baby". It's so hard going to work everyday and trying to get thru when all you want to do is get your son back so you can help him and that will never happen, but you can still hope. GOD BLESS YOU PARENTS ONE AND ALL

Mar 26, 2011
I LOST MY SON
by: BLANCA

I lost my son one month ago he was 22, i think I'm
living in denial, it hurts so much that I block my mind when I SEE his pictures, I don't know what will happen when I WAKE UP TO REALITY

Mar 01, 2011
My Son
by: nina

That is such a lovely poem my son Michal died 32 months ago and i still feel the same as the day he died. and it does not get any better you just learn to live with the pain. I read poems lost son and i can feel the pain in the words that people have written. The only ones that know sadly are the ones that have lost a child. The only way i live is to hope we meet again.

Dec 02, 2010
mother missing her son
by: Anonymous

that is a very sweet poem, my son was killed and he was 16 i understand your pain. benjamin christopher born 12/10/1989 died 03/28/2006 i miss you son, your birthday is coming and i still feel the pain

Sep 23, 2010
Benjamin
by: Cindy Moynan

I lost my son, Benjamin, December 25, 2009. He was at a Christmas party with his girlfriend when her brother decided to make our lives a living hell. He murdered my son.

Sleepless nights
Dreams of him
Never ending nightmares
How can someone's hate be so strong
Because it is, over powering and pure
for the person who took my son.
For he not only took my boy's life
but all the lives that his friends and family
would have had with him.
Miss you Ben


Aug 25, 2010
the poem about our sons
by: Dee

I lost a big part of my life Sept 09' when my Jamie went to be with Jesus suddenly that nite, after taking too much medicine with codeine. Your poem said all my feelings too. He got to be ordained as a minister in July 09', preached churches, made a tape ministry, and touched so many lives in his short time. He was 38. I plan to write a book on his life, when I can get where I can concentrate, and not cry all the time. God bless all the moms who are in this group..

Jun 23, 2010
My son Robert
by: Anonymous

Dear suzanne
I lost my son too on july 18,2009 he was 16. A man took his precious life. It's a pain no one can understand unless they go through the same.
It's a pain that I don't think it will ever go away. Yes they say time will heal, but the pain is deeper and deeper everyday.
God bless you.

Jun 15, 2010
words so true
by: sandy

I lost my son to a drunk driver 12/2008 and the words to your poem are so perfect! You will be in my prayers and thoughts and i hope u don't mind me bookmarking this page to return when needed.

May 11, 2010
your son is just like mine, your pain is just like mine
by: swaraj yadav

HI, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PAIN HAVE NO LIMITS, I HAVE ALSO LOST MY SON ON 08.08.08. WHO WAS HIMSELF AN ARMY DOCTOR AND RANKED CAPTAIN. I WAS OVERCONFIDENT THAT NOTHING CAN BE HAPPEN WITH HIM IN HEALTH ISSUES. BUT SUDDENLY I GOT A MESSAGE FROM HIS COMMANDING OFFICER THAT HE HANGED HIMSELF. THOUGH HE WAS HAPPY AND TALKING WITH US REGULARLY EVEN BEFORE THAT FATAL DAY, HE TALKED TO HIS SISTER AND MADE PLANS TO COME ON LEAVE TO ASSIST HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW IN AN OPERATION.

BUT THIS MESSAGE SHATTERED EVERY THING . TILL DATE I AM SEARCHING THE CAUSE OF HIS DEATH. AND UNABLE TO TOLERATE THIS LOSS OF MY ONLY SON WHO WAS ONLY OF 26 YRS.I CAN SAY ONLY THESE LINES....

No one waits for you and no one keeps a look out for you
Your pain affects no one and no one cries for you
Why do you think some one else is your own?

The sages say that the world is water
And this life - is like writing in water (momentary)
Every one sees it and every one knows it
But it is not in any one's grasp
There is nothing that is yours or mine

May 07, 2010
im sorry
by: Wendy

I lost my son Judson on September 4th 2009, he was 17, and he had an arrhythmia that never would have been detected......it took us all by storm and so suddenly, it's so sad, we never got to say goodbye and every day i long for his smile and his laugh..just to see his face....he never gets to attend a prom, graduate, join the marines as he was ready to do, and he never gets to marry and have children.....the loss of a child is the most difficult thing ANY Parent EVER will have to endure and I am sooooooooooo very sorry for your loss....my prayers and thoughts go out to you!

Mar 18, 2010
Leedon our Angel in Heaven
by: Lesley Couzens

HI,
I lost my son, Leedon, on 17 August 2008 to a motorcyle accident. He was hit by a drunk pedestrian. I have tried to move forward, but it is the most difficult thing to live with. The pain is like a knife that is constantly piercing your heart, only when you have lost a child can you know how it feels. It has been 19 months and still I wake up thinking it is a nightmare, but it isn't! I want him back so I can hold him, touch his face, see him smile, hear his voice, listen to him sing and kiss him happy birthday again. I have also written +-20 poems in his memory and I find that when I am sad it helps me get all the anger and frustration out of my system. You're now an Angel Mom.

Mar 14, 2010
Your poem
by: Anonymous

That's such a personal poem, thank you for sharing that with us. I do hope things will start to feel better soon. Grief is difficult and at times brutal. But just try and remember it is only painful because we were able to love and be loved in return.

Feb 02, 2010
Your son . My son.
by: Vicki

This is beautiful, I lost my son, he was 39 only six weeks ago, he was severely disabled and we had the most wonderful relationship any mum can have with a child. Your poem put my feelings into words so beautifully, thank you, and God bless all the Mums who are suffering as we are.

Nov 13, 2009
My Son
by: Anonymous

My son was born August 10, 1963, his life was taken June 1, 2009.

I also fell into a deep, dark place which enveloped me so that I could not see anything but the picture of him when he was a small child. I still hurt so badly at times until I think I cannot get past this pain. I know he is finally at peace, a peace he could not find in this life. It is little consolation to a heart that is in so much pain.

Nov 11, 2009
my son
by: Beckie

It has been 1 year since I lost my precious son to a motorcycle accident. My life will never be the same again. He was my life and now I go through each day lost and empty.

Nov 08, 2009
My son James
by: Nicholas

I lost my son in a car accident, it is so painful I cry sometimes after eight years; he must be special in God's eyes, of this I am sure. I hope that one day I get a glimpse of him on the way to my final destination. His mother joined him just a few years later, never recovering from his loss. Now there are two in the midst of Christ. Blessed be our Father in Heaven.

Sep 25, 2009
The pain
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your words.

It has been 10 years since my own son died...and you're right...the pain doesn't ever go away! it changes as we do, it becomes easier to move forward...but never will the hole in my heart be closed. I will always and forever long for him, as I am sure you do!

Bless you,

Sep 11, 2009
Thank you
by: Lorraine

Thank you for the poem, it said exactly what I wanted to say!

I too lost my son, he was only 3 days old, and even though it was nearly 30 years ago the pain is still inside.

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your grief.

Mar 20, 2009
Heartfelt
by: Linda Noble-Cordy

Your poem has touched my heart. I can't imagine the pain you must feel day in and day out...
IHR
Linda

Feb 10, 2009
My Son
by: Gert.

Dear Suzanne, I know the pain you are going through, you see I lost my youngest son Mikey as a result of homicide on January 16, 2008. He still walks in my soul; we shared a bond that not even death could break.

He worshipped the ground his mama walked on, it's still so much like a bad dream. I keep hoping he'll find me and say "I love you mom" and hug me like he used to. Then I have to face reality and remember he is gone from this life.

He loved his family so much, it's hard to put into words the heartache and pain one goes through in this time of loss. As mothers, we're not supposed to bury our children. Someday I'll learn the reason why, the same God who helped me through this will tell me, then I'll understand.

I too wrote a poem for my son. It's called "Missing A Son at Christmas", it's actually a letter to Santa telling him about my son. God bless and keep you in His loving care.

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