by Carolyn Bailey
(Gary, In, USA)
On Dec 2,2011, I came in from work. My son lived next door and I was going to cook chili. He asked how long it would be.It was 8;30, I told him about 10:00. He came back at about 10:15,got his chili and little did I know that would be the last I saw of my child. He went to work days the next morning and I leave at 10:30am going to my job. The next thing I knew I was getting a page at about 4:40pm to come upstairs from my job. It was my oldest son, coming to tell me my youngest son had been shot. When I got to the hospital, he had been taken to surgery. He didn't make it . I never saw him again alive. I cannot stop crying. I hurt so much. I am in so much pain. I need help bad. I don't know what to do. I cannot accept any of this. There is no one to talk to. People who have not lost one child tell you, you have move on. That it will get better. How do they know what I am feeling. I don't feel like moving on. I'm still at Dec. 3rd at about 5;30 when they told me he didn't make it. I am angry and I am hurt. How could God allow this much pain on a dedicated mother. I don't want to move on. Sure I have another son and grandchildren, but I want that son,too.