My sophie

My daughter was 32 an absolute beautiful girl and I mean stunning but she was a alcoholic and it ruined her drinking made her very volatile and aggressive she had 4 beautiful children between her relationships but started to loose them all thru her driving king and heroin I have to be honest sometimes are relationship was strained thru her aggression but I always loved her dearly after losing her final child to the system "the other 3 lived with there dads" it sent her over the edge the little boys father and her use to sit discuss ways to kill there selves my daughter tried 2 times in the past always when drunk but she tried to get help by going in to a mental help hospital but they released her after we begged them to keep her in she was begging them also but they realized her as no risk to her self well 4days later her an her partner were fighting and she'd learned a new drug between that and drinking vodka from the moment they hot up she was in a state they were staying at a friends flat 11 floors up and she tried to throw her self out of the window but got stopped he then got out his self but came back in the door when everyone vanished she was left on her own so she gets out the window starts screaming and couldn't get in he came back and held on to her arms but couldn't save her. This was 5 weeks ago and I miss not having her in my life I'm so confused hurt and cross for her poor little kids who are left behind

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Jun 12, 2014
your daughter
by: Maryjo

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our youngest son on Mother's Day of this year. I can sympathize with you when it comes to alcohol and drugs. They do change a person as they did our son. Mostly I think he was hooked on Adderall but I know too that he liked his alcohol. He had so much going for him but his bad choices ended up costing him his life.

And our lives will never ever be the same. You must remember though as I remind myself, that the persons our children became were not their true selves. It was the drugs, the alcohol.

Sudden death is the worst kind I believe, you have no warning, you cannot say goodby, you have no idea till you get the call or the knock on the door.

Think of the good times and don't do what you don't want to do. After our son was killed I didn't want to see anyone, I wanted to hide with my grief. I talked to my husband and other son, that was it. Be kind to yourself and cry when you need to and I remember someone saying that over time the pain is softer but it will always be a part of your life.


Jun 10, 2014
Your child
by: Kate

I wrote "Partner" in my post but I meant to write PARENT
The mother of a child knows great pain as does a father.
But reading your shorty as a parent,I was in response to that.
We learn as time goes on to carry this heavy load as hard as it is.

Jun 10, 2014
Your child
by: Kate

I know you are having so many emotions. Your story is a hard one. When alcohol or drugs come into our child,it changes them. They are not the same. Your love is the same,it is what you see happening to them that you hate. The effects go to the children too as you have stated. You have lost a lot and it will not be easy. Death of our child is the hardest thing ever. We always love them, forever no matter how they die,every partner knows the same heart agony. No one has the answers,there isn't one. It is difficult and heartbreaking but you have come to a place to write and read and see that we all hurt in pain and suffer together on here. No one else can really understand. Take one day at a time,cry and be angry when you have to let it out,because it is painful and it hurts deeply. This is a tragic loss but you will be alse to go on. I wasn't sure I could when my close son died,my oldest son but I have done it with holy help,not on my own for a year and 7 months. I was in a shock and a daze for a long time. My son drank alcohol and took cocaine and it stopped his loving heart.

Jun 10, 2014
My Sophie
by: Doreen UK

I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter. A mother will pour her life into her children and hope that they are always kept safe and not influenced in anyway to drugs or to people that could lead them astray. My nephew was on medication for depression and they had side effects of suicidal feelings. He was not kept in the mental health facility because he was not seen as a risk. He eventually could not live in his world of turmoil and 9yrs. ago at the age of 30yrs. he threw himself in front of an express train. A mother never gets over the death of her child/adult child. The type of death affects the grief and makes it worse to recover from. Losing a child is so very difficult to live with forever. Some losses will be easier to recover from and some we may never recover from. No amount of positive thinking can ever change us or how to cope with our grief. We have to go through the painful process that could go on for years. I lost my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago. It is his birthday today and if he was here we would have been going out to dinner tonight. We can't honour these special celebrations anymore. Taking one day at a time is the only way to get through each day otherwise our grief would overwhelm us. It is sad for your grandchildren to not have the nurturing of a mother. I hope you will find Peace and comfort in the midst of your grief.

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