My soul mate my husband David

by Aileen Pugh
(Edinburgh Scotland )

I lost my husband 19 months ago he was my life he died aged 57 of lung disease never smoked was the worst day of my life he was my husband & my only friend had 4 children youngest 15 I am still so devastated can't sleep haven't been out the house since he died can't go out without him we did everything together we were married for 36 years I cry everyday for him talk to him ask him to just let me know he's their & ok but nothing I haven't dreamt about him either just writing this is breaking my heart I honestly wished it had been me and not him I'm not a strong person he was we lived for each other & our kids didn't go to pubs or that we were happy in each others company at home apart for when we went holidays I don't know how to get on with my life without him in it miss him so so much don't know what to do ;-(

Comments for My soul mate my husband David

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Dec 31, 2013
by: Anonymous

Hi val so sorry to here about your husband to heartbreaking I know how you are feeling it's been 3 years now for me and still pray just like you for him to come back ;( or even give me just one little sign that's he's their but no ! I unlike you val have children so sad that you don't even having my children doesn't help me I know this is wrong just want to be with him broken hearted my grief has turned in to an illness I'm now seing a doctor for this still don't think this will help me I don't want to move on that's problem and still believe in my mind he's coming back ;( I'm thinking of you val this time of year is so sad lets try get this year over with I'm not going to say happy new year val because I know you won't have one your friend Aileen ❤

Dec 12, 2013
To: Aileen, Val, Fernando, Anonymous, etc....
by: Lisa

Dear everyone grieving, I lost my dear, kind husband July 29, 2012 to pancreatic cancer--a shock--was never really sick with any signs until it was too late.

I put together all that all of you have written, and they say everything I feel, and more, I hurt each day, I alos keep thinking he can miraculously return, I ask God to let him come back. I am lost--have no kids, hurt so deeply, and am depressed, especially now around the holidays--he loved Christmas so much.

I don't know how long I can continue this way--some days I don't want to.

I miss him, I too wonder where he is, is he all right, does he remember and think about me. I have had only one dream about him, but not a significant one where I can figure out any meaning to it. The pain, for me, will never end.
Married 44 years, knew each other 46--met him at 17. He was, and still is my life. When he died, he took a part of me with him. I hate life now, cannot see any reason to smile without him here.
Miss him too much.

Love to all, I hope you all came back to this site to see updates. Love, Elisa

Mar 16, 2013
I so feel your pain!!!
by: val

My husband was killed in an accident in November 2006 and we had been together 28 years, you don't ever get "over it" as people say but you do learn to live with it albeit with difficulty. There is not a minute in the day that I don't miss my husband. Now I live the best life I can and it's not ever what I would have chosen for myself but it's what God gave me. There is never an hour in the day that I don't want him back in my life. He was my life, my love and my soul mate. I am sure that you will understand when I say that all your friends and family say that they will be there for you but they forget very quickly because understandably they have their own lives to get on with. My life and yours has changed so dramatically but unless you have been in that situation you cannot honestly understand, people feel empathy but it's for such a short while. Life does go on though, to be honest though I have now no longer a fear of dying because I believe I will be with my darling again, at least I hope so. Anyway I just wanted to share with you and let you know that you are totally not alone in how you feel. Please feel free to get in touch with me my email is
My thoughts are with you

Mar 08, 2013
I hear you!!!
by: Fernando

I also, am new to finding myself alone;my wife, Aimee, passed away on November 14,2012. She was only 41 years old. She died just 2 days before her 42nd birthday. On December 17,2012, it would have been our 19th wedding anniversary. She was my soulmate and I do not know how I keep on living, when my reason for living is gone. She died of a condition know as idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (scarring of the lungs). She had a deep faith in God and that he would heal her, but it just didn't happen. If you had known her, you would have loved her. I know your pain and all I can say is to pray, read you bible, stay focused on "Jesus" and live day by day. I know,it's hard but in due time, you will see your loved one again, in the next life. I cannot speak for you but, I for one will never marry again, but I don't encourage you to do the same. Just one word of advise, please don't become bitter to those that are around you who try to help you through your grieving process. Also, take as long as you need to heal, that's o.k.

Jan 03, 2012
David my soulmate my husband
by: Anonymous

Thank you all for your lovely comments we are all or have went through the same pain I can't get on with my life as I can't except that I won't see him again been 19 months and I feel worse I'm really suffering his clothes still hang in his wardrobe I can't move them out feels like I would be accepting he's gone for ever can't do that my family are all grown up apart from my youngest who's 15 I wish I could take her pain away from her she did everything with him she has her own pony he bought her he took her to all the showjumping shows I can't I don't drive and feel so hopeless I was still suffering after losing my dad he was 80 but was still my dad people say he had a good life yes but hasn't made it any easier miss him so much why is life so cruel my Dave was only 57 a good man thought he might have lived till my dads age but not to be does anyone know why I haven't dreamt about my husband I just want to see him even if only in my dreams x

Jan 03, 2012
My soulmate my husband Davie, too
by: Angela

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss, unfortunately apart from letting you know i know exactly how you feel there is not much else i can do.My husband,Davie, of 20 yrs died suddenly 8 wks ago(almost).It feels like a lifetime ago since i saw him.since i spoke to him and i miss him SO much.It has been pure hell.I to have been left with our 4 kids the eldest 14 the youngest 8.They cope better than me!!It is difficult but all we can do is take it a minute, an hour at a time.I visit this site a lot.It helps to know there are unfortunately other people going thro this hell to.I live in Rosyth Fife so if you want to contact me if you need to talk ,whatever:
(i can pass you my phone number,if you like)
Take care. XXX

Jan 03, 2012
my soul mate /my husband.
by: Kim

I'm so sorry for your loss I couldn't imagine losing my soul mate ..We r not married but we have lived together for 15 yrs I'm 47 and he's 54 and I just can't fathom the thought. I am so sorry for your loss and all that I kno is time just learn to strive through. Yesterday was my step Grandson to me it was his birthday but we lost him just 1 day short of being 3 months old ...1-2-2011 - 4-1-2011. I miss him so so much, S.I.D.S.came like a thief in the night, another thing that takes lives that we don't understand ..I did lose a husband when I was 21 he was 18 we has been married a month ..Not enough time to get to really kno so much about each other but I hurt just the same ..I Loved him. .time made me seal Ans accept that's all AI can say ..except ..My prayers with you and your family ..GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ..!

Jan 03, 2012
Soul mate
by: Pat J.

For most of us here on this site our husbands were our soulmates. It is a struggle to go on without them, but that is what we must do. You have 4 children that really need you. You lost your husband and they lost their dad. They are hurting also. I lost both my parents-mom,35 years ago,only 50 to breast cancer and dad, 5 years ago-83 to a massive heart attack. I grieved for them, but nothing compares to this grief, except for the loss of a child. My mother-in-law lost her husband 40 years ago to cancer, but she has in the last ten years lost 3 adult children, a daughter 53, a son 51 and now 6 months ago my husband 67 and she says that is the worst grief. I know my grief and hope and pray I never lose a child or grandchild.
We all feel like a part of us died the day our husbands died. I really don't enjoy this new life without my husband, but in time I hope to be able to really live my life again. My husband and I did everything together, so this is very hard for me. I did get through the holidays with the support of my children and my husbands family. I also joined a grief support group through our church and have 3 new widow friends; we're there for each other. Amazing how we can get our greatest support from strangers; we share a bond, we understand.
I really enjoy this site; come to it everyday. I find comfort here; shed tears, because so many posts bring memories of my Leonard. I cherish these memories,because that's all I have now are memories. One day at a time!

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