My Special Angel in Heaven

by Lesley Couzens
(South Africa)

It's been 2 years and 4 months, and I still cannot believe Leedon has gone. It's the 3rd Christmas that we as a family will have without him. I am finding it so painful at the moment. I cannot help but cry every time I think of how he so loved Christmas. Leedon would be the one to put on the Christmas hat and hand out the presents from under the tree.

His brothers don't want to take over this tradition, so I do it instead, and it brings back such loving bittersweet memories of his jovial and mischievous self.

I long so much just to look upon his beautiful face and see him smile, just one more time.
My arms ache to hold him close and just to kiss him on his cheek would be a welcome relief from this constant pain. My heart is so heavy and I am so lost without his presence.

My two other sons miss him so much as he was the glue (middle son) that held them together.
This time of year is so hard because it is supposed to be the time for giving, but I don't feel that way at the moment.

I am sure in time, when that will be I don't know, the pain will be easier to bear.
Leedon, I will miss you until the day I take my last breath and then I will be with you again. I love you forever and you will be forever in my heart, never to be forgotten.
Missing your child is the worst pain that any parent has to endure.

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Dec 21, 2010
ohhh so true
by: kay

I totally understand when you say losing a child is the worst pain a parent can endure....I have never known such pain, such agony after I lost my son this year in May. Most people cant even imagine what we are going through. Your heart aches with a deep throbbing feeling....sometimes I think I'm going it the deepest love for my child or is it the aching of a broken heart or perhaps a combination of both. I am feeling your pain..just know Lesley that I am thinking of you and sending you love and healing...we parents who have lost know the pain will forever be with Kay

Dec 21, 2010
Bless You
by: TrishJ

My husband passed away just 2 1/2 weeks ago and I wish I could just skip Christmas all together. I'm having a terrible time. I have three young grandsons who are looking forward to a visit from Santa. It breaks my heart that my husband won't be there with us.

I can't imagine the pain of the loss of a child. I hope you do find some joy and peace this Christmas. Everyone keeps telling me to love the ones around me and live my life the best that I can to make my husband proud. Hold on to the memories. Right now for me, the memories are unbearable to even think about. I too would just love to be able to hold his hand and kiss him - just one more time. I miss his corny sense of humor and the warmth of his touch. We will all endure with God's mercy. Sometimes I think I'm going to explode from the pain. I know from the loss of my younger brother 24 years ago (he was only 33) the pain never really goes away.

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